October 2011 archive

He said To Me!

He said to me… I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it? I said to him… You wear pants don’t you? He said to me… Shall we try swapping positions tonight? I said to him… That’s a good idea – you stand by the stove & sink while …

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Labor Standards

The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him. GOV’T AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.” RANCHER: ”Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for …

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Minnesota Vikings

The Minnesota Highway Patrol is cracking down on speeders heading into Minneapolis. For the first offense, they give you 2 Vikings tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them. Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A. The Minnesota Vikings Q. What do …

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Should You Have Kids?

Motivational Posters of Wisdom

Halloween Costume

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, So he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed …

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Redneck Fire Alarm

Military Motivational Posters

Late Night Call to the Vet

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and “in heat,” agreed to look after her neighbors male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, …

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For All The Man-haters: Why Buy the Pig

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free. Here’s an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. Men are like…. 1. Men are like Laxatives. …

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