January 2012 archive

Microsoft Tech Support

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, ‘Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.’ Mujibar said, ‘I am ready.’ The manager said, ‘Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green.’ Mujibar said, ‘The telephone goes …

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British Wedding Photograph

This is a very nice souvenir photograph of 24 newly wedded couples in Enfield , near London…I just hope, for their sake, that each husband goes home with the right tablecloth!

Safety Message: How to Hold on While Train is Moving

How to correctly hold on in a moving train. No, No…………………………. the old guy by the door!

Keeping You up to Date

Playboy magazine reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose nude in an upcoming issue. Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic. In other news… we all remember when KFC offered a “Hillary” meal, consisting of two small breasts and two large thighs. Now KFC is offering the “Obama Cabinet Bucket.” It consists of nothing, …

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Just Like Frank

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, ‘Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.’ Passenger: ‘Who?’ Cabbie: ‘Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened …

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I said I wanted a puppy!

Blonde in a Blizzard

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little Blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered …

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Student Who Obtained a 0% on an Exam

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams …

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Oxymorons

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something …

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Happy Man

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play Golf. One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the …

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