CALIFORNIA
– The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.
-The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
– He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
– He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
– The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
– The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
– The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.
– The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
– The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.
– PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
TEXAS
– The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
– The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a 0.45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
– The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that is why California is broke and Texas is not.