May 2019 archive

Relaxing Game of Golf

Explicit Language Warning.

Ice Cream Parlor

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’

Fishing With Moses

Follow the Doctor’s Advice

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’ Morris replied, ‘Just doing …

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Noah’s Mother-in-law

Midwest Crop Circles

While flying over the midwestern United States I happened to look down and see what looked like farm circles.  Previously the only place I have seen things like these was in desert areas.  This was due to having water sprayers that traveled in a circle pattern around and kept watering the crops.  I am a …

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Fly the Friendly Skies

State of the Art Hearing Aid

A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”

I Can’t Eat That

Vaginas Are Like the Weather

Pirate Ship in San Diego

At the San Diego Maritime Museum you will find an old style ship that looks much like a pirate ship.  This was used in the “Pirate’s of the Caribbean” films and is certainly something to check out.  For their time these were considered to be great vessels, but you can see it dwarfed by a present …

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Trumpkin Pie

Saw this t-shirt at a store at the Reagan International airport and thought it was pretty funny.