“Somebody” Knows Jack About Motherhood

  • Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby…somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother,”normal” is history.
  • Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct…somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
  • Somebody said being a mother is boring…somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.
  • Somebody said if you’re a “good” mother, your child will “turn out good”…somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
  • Somebody said “good” mothers never raise their voices…somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.
  • Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother….somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
  • Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first…somebody doesn’t have five children.
  • Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books…somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
  • Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten…or on a plane headed for
    military “boot camp.”
  • Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back…Somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
  • Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married…somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.
  • Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home….somebody never had grandchildren.
  • Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her….somebody isn’t a mother.
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