May 16

Political Dumb and Dumber


Kim Jong Un had no military experience whatsoever before Daddy made him a four-star general. This snot-nosed twerp had never accomplished anything in his life that would even come close to military leadership. He hadn’t even so much as led a Cub Scout troop, coached a sports team, or commanded a military platoon. So he is made the “Beloved Leader” of North Korea. Oh nuts!


The United States did the same thing. We took an arrogant phony community organizer, who had never worn a uniform, never ran so much as an ice-cream stand, and made him Commander-in-Chief. A guy, who had never had a real job, worked on a budget, or led anything more than an ACORN demonstration, and we made him “Beloved Leader” of the United States – Twice!

So if you think North Koreans are stupid…think about that.

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May 10

Sights Around the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas

Here are some sights that can be seen around the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada.

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May 08

The Israeli Quarterback

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European leagues, but he couldn’t find a super athlete who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

“I’ve got to get this guy!” the coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

“Mom”, he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!

“I don’t want to talk to you”, the old woman says. “You are not my son!”

“I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

“No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,……….

“I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago.”

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Apr 18

Cali Comfort BBQ


This weekend I went to La Mesa to and ate some Cali Comfort BBQ. It was a local joint with a sports bar feel to it. Here in the photos you can see Tri-tip, brisket, pulled pork sandwich, french fries, onion rings, and some pink and regular lemonade. The BBQ sauce was good and the staff was friendly. Here are some photos of the food and drinks.

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Apr 06

Trump Hotel Las Vegas


While in Las Vegas, Nevada I snapped this photo of the Trump Hotel.

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Apr 04

Cherry Blossoms in Japan


The first week of April is when the cherry blossoms, otherwise known as sakura, are blooming on the island of Honshu, Japan. Here are some photos of some of the different cherry blossom sights you can see.

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Mar 24

Air Force One’s New Ornament


It has been reported that Air Force One had a new ornament installed in support of Donald J. Trump, the President of the United States, who dares to Make America Great Again!

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Mar 20

Chin Chin Restaurant

When I was in Las Vegas, Nevada I came across this restaurant. I saw the name and had to laugh because “chin chin” in Japanese means penis. I can’t say that I want to eat here. Who knows what they might serve? Yikes!

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Mar 16

The Legless Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, “Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?”

The parrot says, “I was born this way.  I’m a defective parrot.”

“Holy crap,” the guy replies.  “You actually understood and answered me!”

“I got every word,” says the parrot. “I happen to be a highly intelligent and a thoroughly educated bird.” 

“Oh yeah?” the guy asks.  “Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet?” 

“Well,” the parrot says, “this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.  You can’t see it, because of my feathers.”

“Wow,” says the guy.  “You really can understand, and can speak English, can’t you?”

“Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.  I’m especially good at ornithology.  You really ought to buy me, I’d be a great companion.”
 

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.  “Sorry, but I just can’t afford that.”

“Pssssssst,” says the parrot, “I’m defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don’t have any feet.  You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!”

The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he’s interesting, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he’s insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, “Psssssssssssst,” and motions him over with one wing.

“I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife, and the UPS man.”

“What are you talking about?” asks the guy.

“When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.”

“WHAT???” the guy asks incredulously.

“THEN what happened?”

“Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over” reported the parrot.

“NO!” he exclaims, “and she let him?”

“Yes.  Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.”

Then the frantic guy demands, “THEN WHAT HAPPENED?”

“I don’t know. I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch!”

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Mar 15

True Food Facts that will make you say “Whaaaaat?”

Did you know?
1. A strawberry isn’t a berry but a banana is.
2. Avocados and watermelon are berries, too.
3. Cashews grow on trees like this:

4. And Brussels sprouts grow in long stalks like this:

5. Chocolate milk was invented in Ireland.
6. Ketchup used to be sold as medicine.
7. Carrots were originally purple.

8. McDonalds sells 75 hamburgers every second of every day.
9. Yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing.
10. Ripe cranberries will bounce like rubber balls.
11. An average ear of corn has an even number of rows, usually 16.
12. Betty White is actually older than sliced bread.

13. Humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas.
14. Honey never spoils. You can eat 32,000-year-old honey.
15. Peanuts are not nuts. They grow in the ground like this, so they are legumes.

16. Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you than a shark is.
17. Coconuts kill more people than sharks every year. So do cows.
18. Pound cake got its name from its original recipe, which called for a pound each of butter, eggs, sugar, and flour.
19. The probability of you drinking a glass of water that contains a molecule of water that also passed through a dinosaur is almost 100%.
20. Honey is made from nectar and bee vomit.

21. Pineapples grow like this:

22. Quinoa is the seeds of this plant:

23. Kiwis grow on vines:

24. Ginger is the root of a plant:

25. And cinnamon is just the inner part of this tree:

26. And artichokes are flowers that are eaten as buds. This is what they look like when flowered:

27. Spam is short for spiced ham.
28. Popsicles were invented by an 11-year-old in 1905.
29. Apples, like pears and plums, belong to the rose family.
30. The official state VEGETABLE of Oklahoma is the watermelon.
31. Peas are one the most popular pizza toppings in Brazil:

32. There are over 7,500 varieties of apples throughout the world, and it would take you 20 years to try them all if you had one each day.
33. The twists in pretzels are made to look like arms crossed in prayer.
34. Canola oil was originally called rapeseed oil, but renamed by the Canadian oil industry in 1978 to avoid negative connotations. Canola is short for Canadian oil.
35. And no matter what color Froot Loop you eat, they all taste the same.

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