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A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, “Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?”
The parrot says, “I was born this way. I’m a defective parrot.”
“Holy crap,” the guy replies. “You actually understood and answered me!”
“I got every word,” says the parrot. “I happen to be a highly intelligent and a thoroughly educated bird.”
“Oh yeah?” the guy asks. “Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet?”
“Well,” the parrot says, “this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can’t see it, because of my feathers.”
“Wow,” says the guy. “You really can understand, and can speak English, can’t you?”
“Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I’m especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I’d be a great companion.”
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. “Sorry, but I just can’t afford that.”
“Pssssssst,” says the parrot, “I’m defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don’t have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!”
The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he’s interesting, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he’s insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, “Psssssssssssst,” and motions him over with one wing.
“I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife, and the UPS man.”
“What are you talking about?” asks the guy.
“When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.”
“WHAT???” the guy asks incredulously.
“THEN what happened?”
“Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over” reported the parrot.
“NO!” he exclaims, “and she let him?”
“Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.”
Then the frantic guy demands, “THEN WHAT HAPPENED?”
“I don’t know. I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch!”
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8. McDonalds sells 75 hamburgers every second of every day.
9. Yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing.
10. Ripe cranberries will bounce like rubber balls.
11. An average ear of corn has an even number of rows, usually 16.
12. Betty White is actually older than sliced bread.
16. Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you than a shark is.
17. Coconuts kill more people than sharks every year. So do cows.
18. Pound cake got its name from its original recipe, which called for a pound each of butter, eggs, sugar, and flour.
19. The probability of you drinking a glass of water that contains a molecule of water that also passed through a dinosaur is almost 100%.
20. Honey is made from nectar and bee vomit.
27. Spam is short for spiced ham.
28. Popsicles were invented by an 11-year-old in 1905.
29. Apples, like pears and plums, belong to the rose family.
30. The official state VEGETABLE of Oklahoma is the watermelon.
31. Peas are one the most popular pizza toppings in Brazil:
32. There are over 7,500 varieties of apples throughout the world, and it would take you 20 years to try them all if you had one each day.
33. The twists in pretzels are made to look like arms crossed in prayer.
34. Canola oil was originally called rapeseed oil, but renamed by the Canadian oil industry in 1978 to avoid negative connotations. Canola is short for Canadian oil.
35. And no matter what color Froot Loop you eat, they all taste the same.
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The Valley of Fire is located outside of Las Vegas, Nevada. It has spectacular views because the surrounding mountains are brown, but the Valley of Fire has a reddish tint to it. It must be because there is more iron in the dirt there. It is quite a site to see and in case you can’t make it there, here are some photos.
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The Golden Nugget casino located on Fremont Street in Las Vegas has on display the “Hand of Faith” and Robin’s gold nuggets. These two golden nuggets were both found in Australia. The Hand of Faith nugget weighs in at a whopping 61 pounds 11 ounces. Wow! It is difficult to believe this huge nugget was found with only using a metal detector by Kevin Hillier. It was found behind his trailer and buried in the vertical position only 12 inches below the dirt. That’s quite an amazing find.
The Robin’s nugget was found in Australia November 9th of 1975 near Bendigo, Victoria, Australia. It weighs in at 189.7 troy ounces.
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I was in Las Vegas, Nevada and decided to stop in on the Pawn Stars, t.v. show on the History channel, 24 hour pawn shop to see what it was like. To my surprise the pawn shop wasn’t very big, but it seemed to have a selection of old equipment, toys, art work, cartoons, comic books, money, weapons, guns, knives, instruments, and even t-shirts for sale. When talking with another person I was surprised to find out that Rick Harris, his son “Big Haus,” “Chumlee” or even the Old Man don’t really ever come into the pawn shop. When they do come into the shop, the shop is closed for filming and it isn’t open to the public, which means the people who come into the store on the show must be paid actors. That was kind of a disappointment to hear. Here are photos of what the shop looks like, what was inside it, and the different items.
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