You Know You’re in Texas When…

– The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
– The trees are whistling for the dogs.
– The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
– Hot water now comes out of both taps.
– You can make sun tea instantly.
– You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
– The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
– You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
– You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
– You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
– You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
– Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
– You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
– The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
– Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
– The cows are giving evaporated milk.

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