You Know You’re in Texas When…

– The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. – The trees are whistling for the dogs. – The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. – Hot water now comes out of both taps. – You can make sun tea instantly. – You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. – The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly. – You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. – You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. – You actually burn your hand opening the car door. – You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. – Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?” – You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. – The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper. – Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs. – The cows are giving evaporated milk.

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