My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I’ve got a full time job, To find the f***in’ thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way …
I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank quite a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?” One of them snapped back saying, “It’s WALES , you friggin’ idiot!” So, I immediately apologized and said, …
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A man was granted two wishes by God, he asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa. ********************************************************* There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen. Rest get married …
Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “seniors” who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such …
A guy asked a girl in a university library: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice: “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!” All the students in the library started staring at the guy; He was truly embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the girl …
A rich man living in Balwyn decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, …
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If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~ Jay Leno The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~ Henry Cate, VII We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~ Aesop If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these …
Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
A Catholic priest, a doctor, a rich businessman , and an Italian Guy from New York were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them. The Italian Guy from New York fumed, ‘What’s with those frickin’ jerks? We’re waiting fifteen minutes between shots!’ The doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t …
After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Jerry remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times & on top of that gargled 1 litre of Listerine. As he arrived at the …
Caller: Hi, our printer is not working. Customer Service: What is wrong with it? Caller: Mouse is jammed.. Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don’t have a mouse! Caller: Mmmmm??.. Oh really?… I’ll send a picture. Related Posts Stuck Pen Issues With Dell Dell Finally Gave In and Gave My Money Back
Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance …
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, ‘because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.’ The biker pulled over and said, ‘Build a bridge to Hawaii …
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has …
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning they went to …
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. “Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?” he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. “Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d …
There was a bit of confusion at the Local Jay C grocery store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical …
Dear Abby, My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but …
A drunk from Crinkle Cove, Newfoundland walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling Back and forth. A Mountie on the beat sees him and approaches, “Can I help you Sir?” “Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr”, the Newfie replies. The Mountie asks, “Where was your car the last …
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, …
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new …
Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up. One said to the other, “I’ll bet that any minute now some old person is going to walk by, …
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is …
A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I …
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