Sign in a shoe repair store: “We will heel you, We will save your sole, We will even dye for you.”
A sign on a blinds and curtain truck: “Blind man driving.”
Sign over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”
At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, You’ve come to the right place.”
On a Plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: “Invite us to your next blow out.”
On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”
In a non-smoking Area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
On a maternity room door: “Push. Push. Push.”
At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”
Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
At the electric company: “We would be delighted if you would pay your bill. You will be delighted if you don’t.”
In a restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait…”
At a propane filling station: “Thank Heaven for little grills.”
In a Chicago radiator shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”
Sign on the back of another septic tank truck: “Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises.”

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