A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office, wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap…… The psychiatrist says, “Well, I can clearly see your nuts.” Related Posts Are they? Cure for a Cough Holy Bathroom Light
Category: Humor
Why Men Shouldn’t Write Advice Columns
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Mature Motivational Posters
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Paraprosdokian
I had to look up “paraprosdokian.” Here is the definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.” “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian. 1. Do not argue with an idiot. …
Let’s Offend Everyone
– I had just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage roll. A poor homeless man sat there and said ‘I’ve not eaten for two days’ I told him ‘I wish I had your f**king will power’. – I got fired on my …
Bumper Sticker
If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you’re not a racist, vote for someone else in 2012 to prove you’re not an idiot. Related Posts Exploring the Journey of Barack Obama’s Presidency USMC Best Joke of the Year Protesting in California
Little Girl on a Plane
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would …
Burial Question
I have just one question. Where did they bury the rest of him? Related Posts 2011 Darwin Awards Hickam Air Force Base Differences Based Upon the View
5 Minute Management Course
Lesson 1 A priest offered a Nun a lift…She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg…….The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he …
Bar Upsmanship
Sitting in a bar the Scotsman says, “As good as this bar is, I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.” “Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “At my …
Fun Facts
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on the left side of your mouth. To make half a …
The Fastest Thing
Jennifer, a manager at Wal-Mart, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the …
Not a Butt Photo
You always think I show pictures of butts, but it is not true, here is the proof. Related Posts It Only Takes 3.25 Inches to Please a Woman Orthopedic Bed Just for Men The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Planking
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A Pirate Walks into a Bar…
A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.” “What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.” “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.” “Well,” said the pirate, “We were in a battle, and I got …
Irish Golfer
A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer’s ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him. …
Things You Notice When You Are Old
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People Should Proof Read What They Print
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For Those Who Love Computers
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, ‘If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.’ In response to Bill’s comments, Ford issued a press release stating: …
Child’s Viewpoint is Best
NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt! OPINIONS …
Thief Suffers Slip and Fall Injuries
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Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims
If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes. You may be a Muslim If you have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim If you …
Coversheets That Might Assist us on our Daily Operations
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Mayo Clinic Test
Facial expressions are an important part of the respected Mayo Clinic psychometric test. In the following pictures you see women with a range of facial expressions. Study the expressions, and try to imagine what single act each is experiencing. Answer: They are all about to sneeze. What were you thinking? Related Posts Sneezing Disease Case …
Thirsty Nuns
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer cooler. One nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?” The second nun answered, “Indeed it would Sister, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable buying beer as I am certain that …
Driving and Shaving Don’t Mix
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Margarita Lady
And they say there are no new business ideas? Lady Selling Margaritas on the Beach in a novel container. She charges $10 a minute. 10 minutes=$100 Reportedly she is clearing $1250.00 per day… Related Posts 4 Retirees Visit a Bar Men Are Just Happier People Men Are Just Happier People
White House Situation Room
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California vs Texas: What To Do About An Attack By A Wild Coyote
California: The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. He calls …
The Hillbilly Vasectomy
After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could …
AFLAC Scam
Police say that the gang usually is comprised of four members, one adult and three younger ones. While the three younger ones, all appearing sweet and innocent, divert their ‘mark’ (or intended target) with a show of friendliness , the fourth –the eldest– sneaks in from behind the person’s back to expertly rifle through his …