Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
Category: Humor
Danger of Forks
Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
Oh No
Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
Save This
Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
Irresistible to Women
Related Posts A Taste of Freedom Joe Biden The Magician Men Wearing Dresses Celebrate Mother’s Day Today Busy Night at Stone Henge as Workers Move all the Stones Forward One Hour
Free Speech, Faith, and a Marine Who’d Had Enough
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly …
Sick of Blonde Jokes
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes she’d hear at the office. So one evening she went home and memorized allof the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a Dumb Blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve …
The Blonde & The Heart Attack
A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” she asks. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her …
Troops Should Pull Out
If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths – that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers. For the same period of time, the firearm death rate in Washington DC is …
Lost in Translation: A Roman Rendezvous Gone Wrong
A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract the attention of a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed quickly. Before long, he invited her back to his apartment. After some flirtatious small talk, they retired to his bedroom, where he proceeded to rattle …
You Know You’re in Texas When…
– The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. – The trees are whistling for the dogs. – The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. – Hot water now comes out of both taps. – You can make sun tea instantly. – You learn that a …
Warning: Idiots in the Area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”From Kingman, KS. I was at the …
Up Nort in Dulut
Ole Vas working at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentlycut off all ten of his finkers. He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar daNorsky doctor looked at Ole and said, “Let’s have da finkers and I’ll see vhat I can do. “Ole said, “I …
Pregnant Turkey Story
Last year at Christmas time, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional holiday feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store and asked if my sister wouldn’t mind going out to get it. When my …
Eve’s Side of the Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. “So, how is everything going?” inquired God. It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. …
A Can of Worms
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The …
Observation
A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on ”Observation”. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. “This”, he explained, “is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste.” After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His …
$20.00
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to …
Mood Swings
Dear Abby,My husband is not happy with my mood swings. So for Christmas he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next …
Italian Lawyers
A professor of law had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, “Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the land owners for lots of money?” Told it was true, the lawyer …
No sex since 1955
A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?” …
The Gay Flight Attendant
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the …
Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage …
The Only Protection He Packed Was a Fake Name
A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex life. “Well…” the man drawled, “not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain’t all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around. In the past week I was able to pick-up and …
Wedding Terms
On their wedding night, the young bride told her groom “Since we’re married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening if my hair is done, that means I don’t want sex at all. If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not have sex. Last…. if …