The 88th Academy Awards the 2016 Oscars

The stage is set. The red carpet is out. It is time for the 2016 Academy Awards being hosted by Chris Rock. Here are some images of what Hollywood looks like for the stars to start showing up.  I took different photos from different perspectives to give a good view of what Hollywood and Hollywood Boulevard looks like in preparation for the 88th Academy Awards, the 2016 Oscars.  I really tried to focus on visually letting you know what it is like to walk around and see the pageantry of the Oscars from different angles and different points of view as if you were there.

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This is the end Folks Oscars 2016

This is the end Folks!
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The Red Carpet Oscars 2016

Here is the red carpet.
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The Oscars 2016 第88回アカデミー授賞式

今年のホストはクリス・ロックです。
最多ノミネート作品は、レオナルド・ディカプリオ主演の「The Revenant レヴェナント」で、
次に多かったのが日本でも大ヒットした「マッドマックス怒りのデス・ロード」です。
ディカプリオは初オスカーを手にするかが注目されていますね。
シルベスター・スタローンは1977年にロッキーで主演男優賞にノミネートされて以来だそうです。
長編アニメーション部門で「思い出マーニー」がノミネートされていますね。
受賞すれば千と千尋の神隠し以来の快挙だそうです。

大ファンという訳ではないし詳しくもないのですが、
なぜかアカデミー授賞式前夜に2年連続で訪れてしまったハリウッド。
折角なので写真を撮ってきました。授賞式準備のためにスタッフが働いていました。
去年よりあまり飾り付けされていない印象です。相変わらず人は沢山いました。

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Jimmy Kimmel Live Oscars 2016

Maybe Jimmy Kimmel would talk about the oscars later. Maybe Matt Damon will actually get on the show tonight. Good luck Matt!
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The El Capitan Theatre Oscars 2016

The El Capitan Theatre looks like it’s nice.
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Dolby Theatre Oscars 2016

The Dolby Theatre right in the middle of the oscars.
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El Capitan Oscars 2016

I’m pretty sure the El Capitan is full because of the oscars.
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Hard Rock Cafe at Oscars 2016

There’s the Hard Rock Cafe near the oscars.
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Hey look it’s the Oscars 2016

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Hey look it’s the oscars 2016!

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A Neat Mirror Chandelier at Oscars 2016

This is a cool mirror chandelier thing I’ve found walking around the oscarsthekumachan_2016_Oscars-17

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Cool Red Oscar 2016

This Oscar is Red with embarrassment for being the only guy wearing his birthday suit.thekumachan_2016_Oscars-01

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Elephant 2016 Oscars

Even the elephant wants to see the oscars.
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Shrek at 2016 Oscars

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I hope I get to see Shrek at the Oscars!

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2016 Academy Awards Man of the Hour

thekumachan_2016_Oscars-1409Here is the man of the hour.

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What Part of Your Body Goes to Heaven First?

The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, ‘When you die and go to Heaven which part of your body goes first?’

Suzy raised her hand and said, ‘I think it’s your hands.’ ‘Why do you think it’s your hands, Suzy?’ Suzy replied: ‘Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.’ What a wonderful answer!’, the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, ‘Sister, I think it’s your feet.’ The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. ‘Now, Johnny , why do you think it would be your feet?’ Johnny said: ‘Well, I walked past Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night. Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying: ‘Oh God! I’m coming!’ If Dad hadn’t pinned her down, I reckon we’d have lost
her.

The nun had to leave the room.

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Circus Vargas

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The circus has officially come to town. Today as I was driving down the road I saw a circus tent setup with semi trucks parked nearby. Here are a couple photos.

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A Scouse Tale

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, ‘But we don’t know anything about each other.’
 
He said, ‘That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.’
 
So she agreed, they were soon married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.
 
One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.
 
She said, ‘That was incredible!’
 
He said, ‘I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about each other as we went along.’
 
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths. After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath.
 
He said, ‘That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?’
 
‘No,’ she said, ‘I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the Mersey.

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There’s Something You Don’t See Everyday

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Today as I was driving home from work, I was stopped at a red light and I looked over and saw a dinosaur tied up in the back of a pickup truck. I thought to myself, “There’s something you don’t see everyday.” Then I took a quick photo and drove home.

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Julian Pies

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「ジュリアンのパイは美味しいよ〜」との噂を聞いたので行ってみた。山側へドライブして雪が見たかったというのもある。勝手にジュリアンというレストランがあるのだと思っていた。着いてみたら多くの観光客が各レストランの前に並んでいた。駐車するのも一苦労だった。ジュリアンは小さな町で、レストラン・ホテル・お土産やさんが連なっており、ちょっとした観光地だった。パイ屋さんも数件あったが、JULIAN PIE COMPANYというベタな名前の長蛇の列に並んでみた。数種類のパイとクッキー、マフィンやドーナッツ等があった。$1.95の追加料金でホイップクリーム、アイスクリーム、シナモンソース、キャラメル等のトッピングも可能。コーヒーとホットココアの飲み物があり、水は無料だった。小さい店内で正面入り口前と裏にちょっとしたテラス席があり、そこで食べられるようになっていた。スライスとホールの購入レジが分かれていたので、スライスの方に並んだ。ホームメイド・アップルパイにした。一切れが大きくてThe American Pieでビックした。$3.50だった。味は甘さ控えめ。りんごの酸っぱさも適度にあり、おばあちゃんの手作り感満載で噂通りに美味しかった。気に入ったのでホールでも購入($14.95)。冷蔵庫で保存して1週間。食べる前にレンジで軽く温めてアイスを載せると美味しさが増した。普段パイを食べない娘も気に入って毎日のおやつになった。ジュリアンのレストランも美味しいと高評価だったので、機会があれば今度は食事をしに行ってみたい。

We heard ” The pie of Julian is delicious!”  We wanted to see snow to mountain side too. so we went to Julian.
I thought that there was a restaurant called Julian. But Julian is a small town and good sight-seeing spot. They have many restaurant and hotel and Souvenir shop. Many tourists lined up in front of each restaurant when we arrived.
We had a hard time parking.
A pie shop was several, we lined up in the long line of the name called JULIAN PIE COMPANY. They have Many kinds of pies and cookie & muffin. Pie topping is whip cream and ice cream and cinnamon sauce and caramel with an additional charge ($1.95).
Drink menu is coffee and hot cocoa, and the water was free. The shop is small. However, there is a terrace seat in front and behind a shop. A purchase cash register of the slice was different from a hall. We lined up toward the slice.

I had a homemade apple pie. One slice was big. It was $3.50. The taste is a sweetness reserve. The sourness of the apple was moderate, too and it was full of the handmade feelings of grandmother and was delicious on a rumor street. I bought it in the hall ($14.95). I save it in the refrigerator one week. When I warmed pie before eating. my daughter usually did not eat pie.but she want to eat it every day for a snack. The restaurant of Julian was a high recommend on Yelp. If there is an opportunity, I want to go to the restaurant too.

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Texas Gun Control

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Little Larry the Fighter Pilot

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Larry says: “I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Casablanca a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.”

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.

“And how about you, Sarah?”

“I wanna be Larry’s whore.”

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Logical Law Student

A young law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?”

Professor: “Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn’t be a professor, would I?”

Student: “Okay. So I’d like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my grade as it is. If you can’t give me the correct answer, however, you’ll give me an ‘A’.

Professor: “Hmmmm, all right. So what’s the question?”

Student: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”
The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can’t crack the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student‘s failing mark into an ‘A’ as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.

The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all afternoon, but still can’t get the answer. Finally he calls in a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really tough question to answer . . . “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”

To the professor’s surprise (and embarrassment), all the students immediately raise their hands.

“All right” says the professor, and asks his favorite student to answer . . .

“It’s quite easy, sir,” says the student. “You see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30-year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 22-year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. And your wife‘s lover failed his exam, but you’ve just given him an ‘A’, which is neither legal, nor logical.”

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Carolina Panthers TopCat Cheerleaders

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In preparation for the National Football League Super Bowl 50 where the Carolina Panthers will be taking on the Denver Bronco’s I decided to share the only stuff I have of either team. These videos are of the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders the TopCats when they came to military installations in the Pacific. These videos were taken on February 4th, 2012. It was a real pleasure to meet these lovely ladies and to actually see them in action.

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Glorious Insults From Famous People

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” – Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second …. If there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… For support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

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The R8 revolver from Counter Strike Global Offensive

The r8 revolver from Counter Strike Global Offensive (Csgo) is over powered, and it’s your mini hand-held awp. Also, everyone in Csgo is running around with the gun being cowboys.  If you’re playing the game keep an eye out for me

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Suicide is Not the Answer

I was in Japan, between July 2008 – November 2014, there was a Captain in the Army that was stationed there during the same time. One year he brought his mother to the Christmas party where I had cooked Kalua pork. He was a nice guy, I never had any problems with him. He rode a little moped around the base and work some whacky shirts. We would communicate, share jokes through e-mail, and sometimes at work I would go over to his desk and talk with him for a while. You know nothing close, but somebody I knew from work and stayed in touch with. He was forced out of the United States Army as he was passed over for promotion a couple of times. I guess he really loved being in the Army because the news hit him pretty hard. After he got out he moved to San Diego and we stayed in touch. He would write to me and tell me how he’s surfing and he bought his mother a house in Las Vegas, he met a girl, etc. January 15th, 2014 I wrote him to let him know that I got my server working again since my server crashed and was down for a short term. I didn’t get a response back. So I just thought maybe he was traveling or busy. Then on January 20th, 2014 I received an e-mail from his mother telling me that Chris had committed suicide on January 18th. It was only 3 days after my last e-mail. In her letter she asked for me to be a conduit to get the word to others in the US Army who knew Chris. When I went into work and shared the news with others it was pretty sad. I couldn’t believe that somebody who was so happy was so devastated by being forced out of the Army that he took his own life.

This is what eats at me to this day. Six months after Chris committed suicide I received an assignment to San Diego, California. I actually arrived in San Diego in November of 2014. I’ve been here for a year and don’t know many people. I don’t really go out much unless it is to work or with my family. If Chris hadn’t committed suicide we would be able to hang out, we could check out the surf locations, or no matter what it was I’m sure we would have good times. It always makes me wonder about what could have been or what he would be doing today. Who knows? He certainly is missed. R.I.P. Captain Christopher Atencio.

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When You’re Over 60, Who Cares?

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Cowboy: “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”
Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
Cowboy: “Nah.. She’s purty good lookin’…..”
When you are over sixty, who cares?

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I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
When you are over sixty, who cares?

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I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
“Really” she said, “Go on then…try.”
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?”
I said, “Yesterday.”
When you are over sixty, who cares?

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I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over sixty, who gives a shit
When you are over sixty, who cares?

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I went to the pub last night and saw a FAT chick dancing on a table. I said, “Good legs.”
The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so.”
I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”
When you are over sixty, who cares?

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The Positive Side of Life

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Study: Smelling Farts May Be Good For Your Health

The next time someone in your office, room or space lets out a “silent but deadly” emission, maybe you should thank them. A new study at the University of Exeter in England suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide — a.k.a. what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, causing gas — could prevent mitochondria damage. Yep, the implication is what you’re thinking: People are taking the research to mean that smelling farts could prevent disease and even cancer.

The study, published in the Medicinal Chemistry Communications journal, found that hydrogen sulfide gas in rotten eggs and flatulence could be a key factor in treating diseases.

“Although hydrogen sulfide gas is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases,” Dr. Mark Wood, a professor at the University of Exeter, said in a statement.

While hydrogen sulfide gas is harmful in large doses, the study suggests that “a whiff here and there has the power to reduce risks of cancer, strokes, heart attacks, arthritis, and dementia by preserving mitochondria,” Time reports.

Dr. Matt Whiteman, a University of Exeter professor who worked on the study, said in a statement that researchers are even replicating the natural gas in a new compound, AP39, to reap its health benefits. The scientists are delivering “very small amounts” of AP39 directly into mitochondrial cells to repair damage, which “could hold the key to future therapies,” the university’s statement reveals.

You’ll have to decide for yourself, though, whether exposure to hydrogen sulfide in flatulence is worth the potential health benefits.

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Interesting Trucks

Here are some old and interesting trucks of varying makes and models.

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Alerts to Threats in 2015 Europe

From John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought – Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

Life is too short…

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Famous Beer Quotes

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“Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.” -Will Rogers

Sometimes, after playing golf, I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, “It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
-Babe Ruth

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
-Winston Churchill

“When I read about the evils of drinking after golfing I gave up reading.”
-Paul Horning

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”
-H. L. Mencken

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”
George Bernard Shaw

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
-Benjamin Franklin

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
-Dave Barry

BEER: HELPING PEOPLE!
-W. C. Fields

Remember “I” before “E,” except in Budweiser.
-Professor Irwin Corey

To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
-Leo Durocher

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: “Well, ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

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Train Driver

A young couple were going at it on a Railway track. The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it. He applies brakes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple. Driver jumps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up and zipping up his pants.

The driver shouts out to the boy “Do you realize that if I had not seen you, this would have been your last time you ever had sex?!!!”

Boy – “Listen dude, you were coming… She was coming…. and I was coming…. then I realized ….only you had brakes.”

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Wild Willies Beard Butter

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I decided to buy sometime to take care of a beard and when I was looking around on Amazon I found a product called, “Wild Willies Beard Butter.” I thought it looked interesting enough to give it a try. It cost $10.77. The package arrived after a couple of days and when I opened it up I was surprised by the size of it. This container is so small it is about the size of a 50 cent piece and not even a 1/2 inch tall. It has a twist off cap and comes with a handy bag. That’s probably so you won’t lose it.

The directions say to scrape a small amount, as if you could get a large amount out of this small container, of balm into your hands and rub between fingers. Work into wet or damp beard from root to tip. Repeat as needed.

I’ve been using this for a couple of days and so far I can’t tell what it does other than makes my beard smell the scent of the balm. It hasn’t really softened it up or done anything special for it. I would say that was not a well spent $10.77. If you are thinking about doing the same thing, keep looking for a better product.

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Earth is a Beautiful Place

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Dollar Shave Club

I’ve been hearing about the “Dollar Shave Club” for a while now as a radio advertisement. After thinking about it and trying to figure out how it works, I decided to break down and give it a try. I see there are 3 different types of razors offered. There is a 9 dollar 6 blade razor, a 6 dollar 4 blade razor, and a 4 dollar 2 blade razor. I decided to go with the 6 dollar 4 blade razor. So far from what I can tell how this works is that you sign up on the website and put in your shipping and billing information and then every month they automatically charge you the amount of money and ship you a new razor. Quite honestly I don’t have loyalty to a razor company and as long as it shaves what I want it to shave without hurting me, I’m o.k. with it.

After I signed up they gave me this referral link: Dollar Shave Club Referral Link

If anybody signs up by using this link it will allow us to save money. One thing I do like about this is that I have razors delivered right to my door without having to do anything, but to sign up on their website. After thinking about a little bit, if I had to sign up on a different website for each product I wanted delivered straight to my doorstep, that is a pretty inefficient way of doing things. I’m fine with this for now because I’m just testing it out, but I hope this isn’t a sign of the way of the future. That’s about all I know for now and I’ll make an update post after I receive my 1st razor.

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The Morning After the Zoo’s Christmas Party

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What Love Looks Like

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Redneck Ingenuity

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Daily Factoids

Dose of daily factoids.
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Imperial Beach, California

Went over to Imperial Beach, California today to check out the pier, the ocean, and the scenery. Here are some photos that I took while I was there. It gives a different point of view of San Diego and the surrounding area. In the photos you can see the Imperial Beach pier, San Diego, Coronado island, and Point Loma. It is a pretty nice and relaxing place to enjoy the beach.
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Poker

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Les’ wife, Sue wasn’t wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Les’s wife followed and asked, “Did you see anything that you like under there?” Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, “Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.”

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Les played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn’t, Jim should be at her house around 2 P.M. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Les’s house at 2 P.M. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 – they went to the bedroom, and closed their transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Les came home from golf at 6 P.M. And upon arriving, asked his wife: “Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?”

With a lump in her throat Sue answered, “Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.” Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, “And did he give you $500?”

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, “Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.”

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, “He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he’d stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.”

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Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older

#9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8. Life is sexually transmitted.
#7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6. Men have 2 motivations: hunger and sex, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5. Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, or maybe years.
#4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2. In the ’60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

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2016 United States Presidential Race Views

I’m an American trying to do my due diligence by paying attention to the political race that has been going on and when I look at the candidates this is what I see. Please be mindful that it is early and I haven’t had all the time in the world to research every candidate out there. I will let them filter each other out a bit, but so far these are the things I have seen.

Democrats:
Hilary Clinton – She was the secretary of state during the Benghazi attacks and did not support her ambassador in Libya at the time by providing more security when requested. She has never been held accountable for this and I personally think there is more to that story where they were running guns to the rebels through Benghazi, but I haven’t seen any real proof of that yet. She is under criminal investigation by the judicial branch, as she should be, and she is tight with Barrack Obama and wants to continue many of his terrible ideas. She had her own e-mail server and was conducting official government business on it and then she withheld e-mails an information. She obviously has something to hide and should not be trusted. She should not be allowed to possess a security clearance and this should prevent her from being a real candidate. She is out of touch with reality and quite frankly she belongs in jail. For some reason she is very slippery and seems to keep getting out of everything and from what I’ve seen it looks like this race is hers to lose. According to the polls does she have any real competition, other than herself, yet?
Bernie Sanders – Self-proclaimed socialist. He supports taking 90% of all of our income. I’ll just stop right there. The only question I have for him is what the heck are you doing in our country and working for our government?

Republicans:
Donald Trump – Successful businessman. Certainly possesses leadership qualities. Running by using his own money and therefore his vote should not be swayed by lobbyists. He’s arrogant and not very refined when he speaks, but he is a man of action and knows how to get things accomplished. He knows how to negotiate and he knows what it would take to support businesses and turn the economy around. His build a wall on the southern boarder idea is stupid. This is not Germany! I am very concerned that if he was president how many times would he open his mouth and offend or anger the allies of the United States or worse? I haven’t seen any real detailed ideas of how Trump intends to accomplish things, but I do feel he is the type of person who will select good people to surround himself with by selecting good cabinet members to get things accomplished.

Ben Carson – Successful brain surgeon. He seems to have a solid methodical way of looking at things and addressing things. He is refined and well thought out. He certainly has a good head on his shoulders. He might have some really good ideas of how to fix healthcare in the United States and propose something better than Obamacare. I don’t know how being a brain surgeon translates into a candidate for good foreign policy. I don’t know how brain surgery provides the experience for economic success.

Mike Huckabee – I’ve watched Mr. Huckabee on his Fox show for quite some time now and I like that he seems to have some common sense about him. He’s got experience as he was the governor of Arkansas. He wants to give the government a reality check and force it to start acting on behalf of the American people again. Honestly I don’t think he is going to go much further after the next debate, but I do like many of the things he says and some of the things he stands for.

Jeb Bush – Oh no! I think we need another Bush in office like we need a hole in our head. I haven’t seen any real substance from him other than he is bickering with Trump. He has stood behind and supported and defended his brother, as any good brother should. He was the governor of Florida, but spending doubled while he was governor. Recently he cut back his campaign staff which might show a sign that he doesn’t have money and needs more fundraising. If that is the case, his vote could be swayed by outside sources.

Now these are just a few candidates and things I have observed. When looking at these candidates I’m not seeing anybody with a military background or experience. Obama was a candidate with no experience and in my opinion he is the worst thing that has ever happened the United States. There is a long way to go and there are many other areas that I will be looking at when I observe the candidates, but for now have you seen something different from what I am seeing? Is my perception off or have I been seeing many of the same things that you have? Comments, feedback, and suggestions are very welcome. I look forward to any responses.

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The Blonde Golfer

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, “Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, and so don’t try to coach me on how to play my shots.”

With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

The father’s mouth was agape. “That was beautiful,” he said.

The blonde put her driver away and said, “I really didn’t get into it, and I faded it a little.”

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. (She was closest to the pin.)

The son said, “Damn, lady, you played that perfectly.”

The blonde frowned and said, “It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I’ve left a tricky little putt.” She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.

When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

She turned to the three guys and said, “I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I’d really like to break 70 on this course.

If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I’ll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night.”

The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, “Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.”

The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. “Don’t listen to the kid, darling’, you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup.”

The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde’s ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, “That’s a gimme, sweetheart.”

The blonde smiled and said, “Your car or mine?”

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Birds of Paradise Flower Photos

Right now I’ve got some Birds of Paradise flowers that are in bloom. I really like these flowers. They are pretty and have a distinct appearance about them. Here are a few photos I took.
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L&L Hawaiian Barbecue

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L&L Hawaiian Barbecue is so delicious. The biggest problem is that the portions are huge and it just tastes so good.

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40 Years of Marriage

A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.’

The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment:

‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish!

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female…

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Crenshaw Boulevard

As I drove by and saw this sign I was having “Boyz in the Hood” flashbacks.

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