Tag: funny

A Dog Needs a Home

Relaxing Game of Golf

Explicit Language Warning.

Follow the Doctor’s Advice

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’ Morris replied, ‘Just doing …

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Hospital Regulations

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.  However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.  After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me …

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What’s the Name of That Restaurant

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great I would recommend it very highly.’ The other man said, ‘What …

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Palm Sunday

Third Worm on Noah’s Ark

Where to Keep Holy Things

Moses’ Mother

Kiss Cam Winning Kiss

How I lost My Teeth

Boyfriend’s Wife Hates Me

Better Than No Job T-shirt

Deep Thoughts

Funny Marketing Signs

Sign in a shoe repair store: “We will heel you, We will save your sole, We will even dye for you.” A sign on a blinds and curtain truck: “Blind man driving.” Sign over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.” In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.” At an Optometrist’s Office: “If …

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Hilariously Painful Videos

Look at Your Kids and Think

Bring an Umbrella

Some Days I Amaze Myself

Can’t You Ever Relax?

Forgetful Folks Support Group

Pet on a Leash

Discovered eBay

Blanket Hog

Organized Crime

Ever Wonder Where the Dollars Have Been?

South Texas Humor

Late Night Thoughts

Sometimes it Pays to Tell the Truth

Jack decided to go ski-ing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could stay the night. “I realize …

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Smart-ass Answers of 2017

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. ‘Would you like dinner?’, the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.. ‘What are my choices?’ John asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she …

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New Store

Two businessmen in a new shopping mall were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop… As yet, the shop wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up.  One said to the other, “I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what …

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