Tag: Humor

Hospital Regulations

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.  However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.  After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me …

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Thinking About Sex

What’s the Name of That Restaurant

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great I would recommend it very highly.’ The other man said, ‘What …

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Palm Sunday

Third Worm on Noah’s Ark

The Haircut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, “I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.”  The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there …

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Moses’ Mother

I Don’t Always Bark at Night

Groundhog Day 2019

Six more weeks of winter.

Thank You For All You Give Me

Some Days Start Great

Posing For a Photo

Moment You Are Beautiful

What Scientists Believe They Know About Breasts

Put the Drops In

Do it for the Kids

Entice Men to do Stupid Stuff

Better Than No Job T-shirt

Behind Every Woman

Do Clouds Look Down on Us

Deep Thoughts

Bookseller Market Survey

Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s check book!!”

Breast Height Check

Getting older stinks and so do these measurements.

Can’t You Ever Relax?

Forgetful Folks Support Group

Teach Children About Taxes

Discovered eBay

Blanket Hog

Organized Crime

Ever Wonder Where the Dollars Have Been?

Corn Maze for Old People

Elderly Running Away

South Texas Humor

Late Night Thoughts

Sometimes it Pays to Tell the Truth

Jack decided to go ski-ing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could stay the night. “I realize …

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Smart-ass Answers of 2017

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. ‘Would you like dinner?’, the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.. ‘What are my choices?’ John asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she …

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New Store

Two businessmen in a new shopping mall were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop… As yet, the shop wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up.  One said to the other, “I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what …

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Humorous Taxi Driver Conversations

Wine Signs

It’s Been a While…Smile

Jewish Cab Driver

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat.​ ​The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with …

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Wine For Dinner

Catholic Morning Coffee

Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square. The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.” The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call …

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Tale of Two Alligators

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.” “Well,” said the big …

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True Courage

Is it fighting a bull without a weapon? Is it flying a fighter in combat? Is it free fall parachuting? Is it bungee jumping? Is it white water rafting? Ah – But ​aare nothing! This, my friend, is true courage: (It’s also the last photo I have of my dog.)

Points to Ponder

Irish Ghost Story

John Bradford, Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on​ ​​​a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he​ ​could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.​ ​Suddenly, he saw a car …

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Demonstration of Love

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him? “Some women answered …

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How is Your Day Going?

Now that I think about it, my day is going pretty good.

Funny Killer Robots Comic for Geeks