Dec 13

Bob and the Blonde

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump.”

The blonde replied, “I did too, but didn’t think he’d do it again.”

Bob took the money…

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Dec 11

Brief California History Lesson


Do you know what happened 166 years ago this summer…September 9th, 1850?

California became a state! The people had no electricity, the state had no money and almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically nothing has changed except back then the women had real tits and the men didn’t hold hands.

And that, my friends, is your history lesson for today.

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Dec 09

Democrats Recounting Votes


Democrats have been unhappy with the turnout of the Presidential election and have start to recount.

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Dec 04

Boar’s Head Handcrafted Sandwich

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I was at the supermarket and I saw a Boar’s Head turkey sandwich that looked pretty good. Now, although this sandwich did taste as good as it looked, one thing I didn’t notice until I opened it because the sandwiches were standing vertically was the huge lettering at the bottom that said, “Handcrafted.” As I was eating the sandwich I couldn’t help, but think about why they would put that on the packaging. Are other sandwiches made specifically by sandwich making machines? Is there some sort of sandwich apprenticeship that they are proudly displaying their craftsmanship? Are they trying to brag? Perhaps this is just a stupid marketing ploy to try to entice people to buy their sandwiches. Whichever it is, it is all nonsense. Just let the sandwich speak for itself. It looked good. It tasted good. Leave it alone.

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Nov 23

Kid Rock Understands the 2016 Election

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Nov 12

Model Tatiana – Hippie Photo Shoot

I went on a photo shoot with, Tatiana, one of the models from the previous Boarder X Brewery event that I took photos at. This was different as it was more in nature and more one-on-one, but I think we got some really good photos. She is a pleasure to work with and as I build my experience, my name, and my reputation, I will keep doing my best to capture her in the best light.

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Nov 11

I am a Veteran

I am a veteran. I chose to serve my country, not because it was cool, but because I though it was the right thing to do. I didn’t join to try to be an sort of hero. I just wanted opportunities to travel the world, learn a decent job, and get a college degree. I was willing to make the sacrifices that many other’s weren’t. I raised my right hand and swore an oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States against enemies both foreign and domestic. Although I did not retire from the military, I served honorably. I don’t ask to be recognized. I don’t ask for free stuff. I don’t need people to buy me free beer or pat me on the back. I have done what my country has asked of me and I’ve demanded nothing in return. At sporting events when they ask veteran’s to stand to be recognize, I sit quietly and look around at the real heroes. I believe the it is because of other like-minded individuals from all walks of life, different backgrounds, different cultures, different races, and even different sexual preferences, that have swore the same oath that I swore to protect and defend our beloved country is what makes our country great.

Many people don’t understand the sacrifices that veteran’s have made. They have chosen to protect the United States of America, the values that we stand for, and the ideals that we uphold. They travel to distant lands, spend time away from friends and loved ones, and missed many holidays, birthdays, births, graduations, and other important events. Many service members do not get the opportunity to become a veteran as many never make it home.

When veteran’s day comes around I don’t ask for a day off work. I don’t post my photo to get recognition or praise. I just want to shake the hand or acknowledge others who were willing to do the same thing I did. These are the people I like to know. These are the truly great people who make this country what it is. These are the people that are always welcome and have a friend with me. Here’s to you. Cheers.

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Nov 11

Happy Veteran’s Day 2016

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Veterans,
The sacrifices you have made are what help forge the United States into one of the greatest countries in the world.  Thank you for your service.

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Nov 09

45th President of the United States: Donald J. Trump

That was quite an election and Donald J. Trump will be the 45th President of the United States of America. I didn’t see that coming and it was a surprise to see that he pulled out a win. It definitely shows that American’s don’t agree with Barrack Obama and want to turn the country away from the direction he was taking the country. One major thing that I was surprised about was the lack of voter turnout. When I look through the numbers of every state it appears that on average only somewhere between 40-50% of people actually voted. That’s almost 60% of the country who didn’t vote. That’s a very big surprise for me. It was also surprising to see the republican’s held the house and senate and now the presidency too. That’s an all republican controlled government. Let’s see if they can get things passed and if congress will get back to work, as opposed to, the gridlock they maintained while Obama was president. I look forward to seeing the change, I look forward to seeing what changes will be made, and I look forward to seeing how great American will become.

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Nov 06

Southern Cops Have a Way With Words

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”
2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”
6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”
7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”
11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center )
13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”
14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”
15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

And the winner is…

16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

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