Category: Humor

The Birds and the Bee’s and Jewelry?

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The Michigan Wife

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Ohio and had told her that she was going to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see …

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Saving a Life

There is an ongoing research study showing that the following photos have been taken to identify major causes of traffic accidents. I’m applying for a government grant to study this problem further. Wish me luck. “If it only saves one life…” Related Posts Road Hazards Lombard Street Tiananmen Square

Significant Failures

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Wine vs. Water

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine… and those who don’t: As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end …

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Spanish Words of the Day

1. Cheese The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence. Pepito Replies: ‚ÄúMaria likes me, but cheese fat.‚Äù 2. Mushroom When all of my family get in the car, there’s not mushroom. 3. Shoulder My fren wanted to become a citizen but she didn’t know how to read so I shoulder. …

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Definition of “Surprise”

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Oil Change Instructions

Oil Change instructions for Women: 1.) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2.) Drink a cup of coffee , read free paper. 3.) 15 minutes later, write a cheque and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $40.00 Coffee: $2.00 Total: $42.00 Oil …

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Top Seven Idiots of 2008

Number One Idiot of 2008 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her …

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Atlanta Burger King Sign

Proof that the Atlanta city school system works! This is an actual picture of a Burger King in Atlanta. Related Posts How a Bacon Cheeseburger is Made McDonald’s Burger of the Month The Ostrich

Letter To Santa

Dear Santa, Please send me a baby brother. Santa wrote back: “Send me your mother…” Related Posts A Letter From Little Timmy To Santa A Christmas Story Father’s Day

Perfect Christmas Present for Men

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Christmas lights

After several weeks of nagging from my dear wife I finally put up the Christmas Lights. I mean she would not let up! It’s a good thing I love her! Related Posts Christmas Lights Christmas Gift Christmas Decorations 2016

A Heartwarming Story

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!” ‘The cop asked, ‘What’s he like?’ The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied, “Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits.” Related Posts He Wore His Collar Backwards Plastic Garbage Bags …

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Retired Sailor

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads to the docks once more for old times’ sake. He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He’s soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, “How am I …

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Penis Research

The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, the French …

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A Dog’s Intuition

Have you ever heard that a dog ‘knows’ when an earthquake is about to hit? Have you ever heard that a dog can ‘sense’ when a tornado is stirring up, even 20 miles away? Do you remember hearing that before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at …

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Victoria Secret

You’ve probably wondered what exactly Victoria’s Secret is…An abusive marriage? A child out of wedlock? Substance abuse? Nope. Much worse…After years of suspense…The Question is finally answered, “What, exactly, is Victoria’s Secret?” Related Posts Andy Rooney on Sex Women vs Men Philosophers’ Views of Wives and Marriage

Scary Halloween Story

A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween-night, when behind him he hears: BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… Terrified, the man begins to …

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How Badly Do You Want A Beer?

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Australian Speed Bump

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Drunk Pumpkin

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The Box Office

While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, “Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan.” An old MSgt. sitting in the eighth row …

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How to be Cruel to Old Guys!

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Lil’ ole lady

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by …

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Motivational Posters #2

Here are some more motivational posters. Some may be duplicate images with different messages…entertaining none the less. Related Posts Happy New Year! Radio Station Took Suggestion Comic CON 2016

Mowing & Beer

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung.!” I took a drink from my can of Miller Lite, wiped the cold foam …

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Redneck Fire Alarm

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Rye Bread

Two old guys, one 70 and one 77, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 77 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath. The 70 year old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The …

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Choosing a Wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new …

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Halloween Moon

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