The Legless Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, “Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?”

The parrot says, “I was born this way.  I’m a defective parrot.”

“Holy crap,” the guy replies.  “You actually understood and answered me!”

“I got every word,” says the parrot. “I happen to be a highly intelligent and a thoroughly educated bird.” 

“Oh yeah?” the guy asks.  “Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet?” 

“Well,” the parrot says, “this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.  You can’t see it, because of my feathers.”

“Wow,” says the guy.  “You really can understand, and can speak English, can’t you?”

“Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.  I’m especially good at ornithology.  You really ought to buy me, I’d be a great companion.”
 

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.  “Sorry, but I just can’t afford that.”

“Pssssssst,” says the parrot, “I’m defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don’t have any feet.  You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!”

The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he’s interesting, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he’s insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, “Psssssssssssst,” and motions him over with one wing.

“I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife, and the UPS man.”

“What are you talking about?” asks the guy.

“When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.”

“WHAT???” the guy asks incredulously.

“THEN what happened?”

“Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over” reported the parrot.

“NO!” he exclaims, “and she let him?”

“Yes.  Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.”

Then the frantic guy demands, “THEN WHAT HAPPENED?”

“I don’t know. I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch!”

True Food Facts that will make you say “Whaaaaat?”

Did you know?
1. A strawberry isn’t a berry but a banana is.
2. Avocados and watermelon are berries, too.
3. Cashews grow on trees like this:

4. And Brussels sprouts grow in long stalks like this:

5. Chocolate milk was invented in Ireland.
6. Ketchup used to be sold as medicine.
7. Carrots were originally purple.

8. McDonalds sells 75 hamburgers every second of every day.
9. Yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing.
10. Ripe cranberries will bounce like rubber balls.
11. An average ear of corn has an even number of rows, usually 16.
12. Betty White is actually older than sliced bread.

13. Humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas.
14. Honey never spoils. You can eat 32,000-year-old honey.
15. Peanuts are not nuts. They grow in the ground like this, so they are legumes.

16. Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you than a shark is.
17. Coconuts kill more people than sharks every year. So do cows.
18. Pound cake got its name from its original recipe, which called for a pound each of butter, eggs, sugar, and flour.
19. The probability of you drinking a glass of water that contains a molecule of water that also passed through a dinosaur is almost 100%.
20. Honey is made from nectar and bee vomit.

21. Pineapples grow like this:

22. Quinoa is the seeds of this plant:

23. Kiwis grow on vines:

24. Ginger is the root of a plant:

25. And cinnamon is just the inner part of this tree:

26. And artichokes are flowers that are eaten as buds. This is what they look like when flowered:

27. Spam is short for spiced ham.
28. Popsicles were invented by an 11-year-old in 1905.
29. Apples, like pears and plums, belong to the rose family.
30. The official state VEGETABLE of Oklahoma is the watermelon.
31. Peas are one the most popular pizza toppings in Brazil:

32. There are over 7,500 varieties of apples throughout the world, and it would take you 20 years to try them all if you had one each day.
33. The twists in pretzels are made to look like arms crossed in prayer.
34. Canola oil was originally called rapeseed oil, but renamed by the Canadian oil industry in 1978 to avoid negative connotations. Canola is short for Canadian oil.
35. And no matter what color Froot Loop you eat, they all taste the same.

Valley of Fire

The Valley of Fire is located outside of Las Vegas, Nevada. It has spectacular views because the surrounding mountains are brown, but the Valley of Fire has a reddish tint to it. It must be because there is more iron in the dirt there. It is quite a site to see and in case you can’t make it there, here are some photos.

Video Landing in San Diego at Night

Here is a time lapsed video of a view from an airplane landing at the San Diego airport at night.

Signs of the Times

Hand of Faith and Robin’s Gold Nuggets


The Golden Nugget casino located on Fremont Street in Las Vegas has on display the “Hand of Faith” and Robin’s gold nuggets. These two golden nuggets were both found in Australia. The Hand of Faith nugget weighs in at a whopping 61 pounds 11 ounces. Wow! It is difficult to believe this huge nugget was found with only using a metal detector by Kevin Hillier. It was found behind his trailer and buried in the vertical position only 12 inches below the dirt. That’s quite an amazing find.

The Robin’s nugget was found in Australia November 9th of 1975 near Bendigo, Victoria, Australia. It weighs in at 189.7 troy ounces.

True Courage

Is it fighting a bull without a weapon? Is it flying a fighter in combat? Is it free fall parachuting? Is it bungee jumping? Is it white water rafting? Ah – But ​aare nothing!

This, my friend, is true courage:

(It’s also the last photo I have of my dog.)

Pawn Stars


I was in Las Vegas, Nevada and decided to stop in on the Pawn Stars, t.v. show on the History channel, 24 hour pawn shop to see what it was like. To my surprise the pawn shop wasn’t very big, but it seemed to have a selection of old equipment, toys, art work, cartoons, comic books, money, weapons, guns, knives, instruments, and even t-shirts for sale. When talking with another person I was surprised to find out that Rick Harris, his son “Big Haus,” “Chumlee” or even the Old Man don’t really ever come into the pawn shop. When they do come into the shop, the shop is closed for filming and it isn’t open to the public, which means the people who come into the store on the show must be paid actors. That was kind of a disappointment to hear. Here are photos of what the shop looks like, what was inside it, and the different items.

Griffith Observatory


Last weekend I wanted to hike Mount Lee so I could get some photos behind the Hollywood sign. On the way up there I parked near the Griffith Observatory. The observatory was pretty cool because it is located high on a hill which I’m sure gives some spectacular views of the night sky. Here are some photos of the observatory.


Here is a view of Hollywood from near the observatory.


This is a view of the Hollywood sign from the observatory. As you can see it’s a pretty neat angle to see the iconic Hollywood sign from.

Hollywood Sign Hike


Last weekend I hiked up Mount Lee to the Hollywood sign. Before I left I did my research about where to park and how long of a hike it would be. To my surprise some of the information was incorrect. The hike was supposed to be only a 3 mile round trip hike, it ended up being a 10 mile hike. I was able to get free parking over by the Griffith Observatory which was nice and the view behind the Hollywood sign was very scenic and beautiful. I’m certainly glad I can check that off my bucket list. Here are a few of my best shots.

Donald J. Trump’s Presidential Address to Congress


Tonight I watched the Presidential address to congress and I have to admit that it was one of his better speeches. He didn’t seem to spew much of the rhetoric we heard on the campaign trail, but rather seemed to focus on what it would take to make America great again. One of my favorite lines was, “My job is not to represent the world, but to represent the people of the United States of America.” Some of the key issues he brought up was enforcing laws and supporting law enforcement officials. He brought up getting rid of Obama care and instead of government forcing people to purchase a government plan, they lower insurance costs so people can choose their own health care plans. A couple other key points are to create fair trade with other countries and lowering taxes on businesses. He also talked about getting rid of illegal immigrants with criminal records and keeping out immigrants that come from countries where proper vetting doesn’t take place in order to protect the safety of the American people. He also talked about America working with foreign countries to promote peace and prosperity throughout the world. He said the problems America is faced with are problems that we can solve and now is the time to dream big and bold for the success of the country.

This speech was about an hour long and from what I saw it was well received by the Republican party, but the Democratic party sat the majority of the time. There were several key points where everybody stood and clapped, but most of the time it was only the Republicans doing most of the clapping. I felt this speech was well delivered. It set a good tone and a good message to rebuild the infrastructure in the United States, bring back and encourage business growth, and ensure the safety of the American people. These are not bad values and they are not bad things to strive for. I look forward to seeing what accomplishments he is able to complete.

Pan for Gold


Hollywood should learn how to get real gold. Here is a kit to get them started.

Oscars – Fool’s Gold


Some chase real gold, other’s chase fool’s gold.

Vladamir Putin Helps Moonlight Win Oscar

第89回アカデミー賞授賞結果 / Oscars Winners 2017

【作品賞】　「ムーンライト」

【監督賞】　デイミアン・チャゼル「ラ・ラ・ランド」

【主演男優賞】　ケイシー・アフレック「マンチェスター・バイ・ザ・シー」

【主演女優賞】　エマ・ストーン「ラ・ラ・ランド」

【助演男優賞】　マハーシャラ・アリ「ムーンライト」

【助演女優賞】　ヴィオラ・デイヴィス「フェンシズ」

【長編アニメ映画賞】　「ズートピア」

【短編アニメ映画賞】　「ひな鳥の冒険」

【脚本賞】　ケネス・ロナーガン「マンチェスター・バイ・ザ・シー」

【脚色賞】　バリー・ジェンキンズ、タレル・アルヴィン・マクレイニー「ムーンライト」

【撮影賞】　リヌス・サンドグレン「ラ・ラ・ランド」

【美術賞】　デヴィット・ワスコ、サンディ・レイノルズ・ワスコ「ラ・ラ・ランド」

【音響編集賞】　「メッセージ」

【録音賞】　「ハクソー・リッジ」

【編集賞】　ジョン・ギルバード「ハクソー・リッジ」

【視覚効果賞】　「ジャングル・ブック」

【歌曲賞】　City of Stars　「ラ・ラ・ランド」

【作曲賞】　ジャスティン・ハーウィッツ「ラ・ラ・ランド」

【衣装デザイン賞】　コリーン・アトウッド「ファンタスティック・ビーストと魔法使いの旅」

【メイク・ヘアスタイリング賞】　「スーサイド・スクワッド」

【外国語映画賞】　インド「セールスマン」

【短編実写映画賞】　「シング」

【長編ドキュメンタリー賞】　「O.J:メイド・イン・アメリカ」

【短編ドキュメンタリー賞】　「ホワイト・ヘルメット　-シリアの民間防衛隊-」

「ラ・ラ・ランド」は６部門を授賞

惜しくも作品賞を逃した最多１４部門でノミネートされていた「ラ・ラ・ランド」ですが、
監督賞、主演女優賞、撮影賞、美術賞、作曲賞、歌曲賞と６部門で授賞しました。

第89回アカデミー賞授賞式、前代未聞のミス！

　

作品賞は「ムーンライト」
でもその前に一波乱。

最初「ラ・ラ・ランド」が呼ばれ関係者一同がステージに上がり「ありがとう」スピーチをしている最中に
何やら後ろがザワザワ怪しい雰囲気に。
「これは間違いだ。「ムーンライト！君達がベスト作品賞だ。これはジョークじゃない」
とオスカーベスト作品賞が書いてある封筒を掲げて発表。

バックステージで封筒の渡し間違いがあったそうだ。

長い歴史の中で１度もなかった前代未聞のミス！
なんだか落ち着かないままで、2017年のアカデミー賞授賞式は幕を閉じました。

The End of the 89th Academy Awards


We leave you with these images as the Oscars come to a close.

The Kumachan Sticker on Hollywood Boulevard


The Kumachan Sticker has been placed on Hollywood Boulevard in preparation for the Oscars. Here are some photos of its appearance.

Chinese Theater


My first time I went to Hollywood I was surprised that there was a Chinese Theater there. I felt it was really strange. Why would there be a Chinese Theater? Is there an American Theater somewhere in China? Here are some photos of the Chinese Theater.

And the Award for Best Photographer Goes To:


And the award for the best photographer goes to:
The Kumachan

Dolby Theater


The Dolby Theater is such a nice venue to hold the Oscars.

Oscar Interviewers


Here are some photos of different interviews and interviewers going on for the Oscars.


Anytime is a good time to Tweet about the Oscars!

Interview for the Oscars


Walking in front of the Chinese Theater there was an interview going as they were walking down the street for the Oscars.

Wonka


Where can I get a Golden Ticket?

Update: March 15th, 2017
I found a golden ticket. You can get it from here: Where to get a Golden Ticket

Ripley’s Believe it or Not in on the Red Carpet Action


Everybody is getting into the 89th Academy Awards. Even Ripley’s Believe it or Not is getting in on the action.

Stage is set for the 89th Academy Awards


Checks and double checks have been done in preparation for the 89th Academy Awards.

Security at the Oscars


This year security was tight at the Oscars. They blocked off sections that were open for the last couple of years. There were more drop cloth to keep things more hidden than usual.

Dev Patel is off to get an Oscar

Dev Patel, who has played many roles such as Slumdog Millionaire is going to get an Oscar for the role in Lion.

Andrew Garfield Nominated for the Oscars

Andrew Garfield got nominated to the Oscars for Hacksaw Ridge. Looks like Spider-man is going to get an Oscar.

Hollywood Elites

This year with it being an election year, I’m really not looking forward to these pampered, privileged, overpaid Hollywood elites who take the time to pat themselves on the back for doing their job. They get dressed up in fancy clothes, eat expensive food, and show the world how they don’t live by the same rules as everybody else. The last thing I want to hear is these left-winged liberals opinions on politics. If you aren’t reading from a teleprompter, “Shut up!” We don’t want to hear it.