Category: Humor

I’m Pretty Sure Pandora Was Sending Me a Signal

Hal

I’m sitting on the couch, trying to focus on my notes for that marketing project I’ve been putting off, but my mind keeps drifting back to something Pandora said earlier about John Mercer leaving his dirty socks on the floor…

I Think She’s Hiding Something Behind That Ponytail

Hal

I’m sitting on the couch trying to focus on my laptop when Mrs. Jenkins’ voice comes booming through the wall from next door. I can’t make out every word, but she’s clearly having some kind of disagreement with her husband,…

I Think John Mercer Saw Something He Shouldn’t Have

Hal

I had just poured myself a cup of coffee when something small caught my attention. Pandora’s favorite mug was sitting on the kitchen counter, still warm, but she wasn’t anywhere in the apartment. We’d talked about having breakfast together before…

I Think Pandora’s Hiding Something in the Wash

Hal

I was sitting on the couch when I noticed Pandora standing in the laundry room with an expression that suggested she was negotiating with the laws of chemistry. She held one of John Mercer’s favorite T-shirts up to the light,…

Dave Might Be a Bigger Problem Than I Thought

Hal

Dave sent me one of the most dangerous text messages in the English language. Need to talk tomorrow. That was it. Four words. No explanation, no context, and not even an emoji to reassure me that everything was fine. I…

I Think Pandora Uncovered Something I Should Know

Hal

I was sitting on the couch watching Mr. Whiskers meticulously groom himself when something started bothering me. It wasn’t anything dramatic. In fact, it was almost disappointingly ordinary. Pandora had come over for dinner the night before, and we’d spent…

My Argument with Pandora Was More Serious Than I Thought

Hal

I was sitting in the living room staring at Pandora’s favorite coffee mug on the coffee table. It was still half full, which immediately caught my attention because Pandora never left coffee unfinished. She always finished every last sip before…

They’re Ignoring Me On Purpose

Hal

I was sitting on the couch trying to answer a message on my phone when Pandora started playing with Mr. Whiskers. She was making ridiculous faces, talking to him in that cheerful voice people instinctively reserve for cats, and Mr.…

I Think Dave’s Secretly Using Our Coffee

Hal

I was making breakfast when I noticed the coffee beans were almost gone. That immediately struck me as suspicious because I could have sworn we’d opened a brand-new bag yesterday. I picked up the container and gave it a hopeful…

I’m Starting to Suspect Mrs Jenkins of Feline Tampering

Hal

Mr. Whiskers was sprawled across my lap when I noticed something that immediately bothered me. His fur looked… different. Not messy. Not dirty. Just unusually fluffy, as if every hair had been carefully arranged to achieve maximum puffiness. I ran…

Pandora Left Her Phone Behind Today

Hal

Pandora forgetting her phone is about as likely as Mr. Whiskers volunteering for a bath, which is why it immediately caught my attention. I was making breakfast while John Mercer wandered into the kitchen looking like he’d spent the night…

I Caught John Mercer Sneaking a Clock Check

Hal

I was making breakfast when I noticed John Mercer looking at the clock. Normally that wouldn’t even register as unusual—people check clocks all the time—but there was something about the way he did it that immediately caught my attention. He…

I Think Mrs. Jenkins’ Dog Smell Is a Red Herring

Hal

The first thing I noticed was that Mr. Whiskers had stopped sleeping on his favorite windowsill. For years he’d spent every sunny afternoon stretched across that spot like it was his personal throne, watching the neighborhood with the confidence of…

I Knew Something Was Off When Karen Started Texting

Hal

Pandora had been checking her phone all morning, and the longer I watched her, the more convinced I became that something unusual was happening. Every few minutes it buzzed, she’d glance at the screen, smile to herself, type a quick…

I’m Starting to Miss Mr Whiskers

Hal

It started with a spoon. I was making my morning coffee when I reached for the sugar and noticed the spoon sitting on the counter instead of resting inside the bowl where it belonged. That wasn’t particularly unusual. John Mercer…