Interview with 101 year-old Hattie Mae MacDonald of Feague, Kentucky:
Reporter: Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101?
Hattie: For better digestion I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss I drink white wine. For low blood pressure I drink red wine. In the case of high blood pressure I drink scotch. And when I have a cold I drink Schnapps.
Reporter: When do you drink water?
Hattie: I’ve never been that sick.
Here are some sights you can see while driving over the Coronado bridge in San Diego, California.
Today I drove over to Torrey Pines state park in San Diego, California and the surf looked great for body boarding. Here are some photos of the surf at roughly 8:30 A.M.
CALIFORNIA
– The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.
-The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
– He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
– He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
– The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
– The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
– The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.
– The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
– The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.
– PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
TEXAS
– The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
– The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a 0.45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
– The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that is why California is broke and Texas is not.
Husband’s Text Message to wife
Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.
Love you.
Wife’s Response:
Who’s Paula?
A young boy comes down for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his Mother asks if he has done his chores.
“Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little ticked off so when he feeds the chickens, he kicks a chicken. When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow. When he feeds the pigs, he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon, and why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.
Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.”
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, “You gonna tell him or should I?”
A Jewish daughter says to her mother, “I’m divorcing Nathan.” All he wants is sex, sex, and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50 – cent piece when it used to be the size of a nickel.”
Her mother says…
“You’re married to a multi – millionaire businessman! You live in an 8 bedroom mansion! You drive a $ 250,000 Ferrari! You get $2,000 a week allowance! You take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away…over 45 cents!!!!?”
A man in Michigan ‘s Upper Peninsula wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..there’s an ad for “Up North Bear Removers.”
He calls the number and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.
What are you going to do?” the homeowner asks.
“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”
He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.
“If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”
During the summer there are many festivals, fairs, parties, and other fun events to attend. If you happen to run across the funnel cake, stay away! The funnel cake is evil. It is so yummy that you just can’t stay away. There is something about that fragrence in the air that just draws you in and once you try it, you’re addicted.
Happy Independence Day 2015. On July 2nd 1776 is when American declared independence from England. It wasn’t until August 2nd, 1776 when all members actually signed the declaration. Either way, this is the only American holiday during the summer and it means many things to many different people. It is a good time to enjoy the summer. It is a good chance to spend time with family. It is a time to show patriotism and honor all of those both past and present who are making so many sacrifices for the good ole United States of America.
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?”
“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup..”
“No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”
You may have noticed in the news lately where the media has been discussing the California sever drought and water crisis. There are commercials that tell residents of California to conserve water and this affects everybody. I have heard that the majority of water consumption for the state of California is between the state government and commercial business and that only 5% is being consumed by consumers. I don’t know weather that is true or not, however I do know that California is an expensive state to live in. I haven’t been able to put a finger on exactly why it is so expensive. Now I know the answer why. This past weekend I drove up the I-5 to San Francisco and somewhere north of Los Angeles around Bakersfield all the way up to east of San Jose I found a huge issue why the state of California is so darn expensive to live in.
Here are some photos of what I saw along the way:
As you can see there isn’t a lot growing and it is arid, dry, and desert like.
Before long I started seeing signs along the roadway. Here are some of the signs I’ve seen:
I couldn’t believe what I saw. I saw signs stating that they need water to grow crops. One sign actually said, “millions paid and no water delivered.” I thought this was just the craziest thing I’ve seen. Why would anybody be trying to grow crops in this desert like area? I thought this would be a must better place to have solar or wind farms. It would be an excellent way to produce large amounts of electricity on land where much isn’t growing…well, I was surprised again. Before long I actually seen that fresh water was being pumped to this part of the state so that crops could grow. Here are the photos of the canal where water was being pumped.
Sure enough a little further down the road I saw farms that were growing everything from corn, to oranges, lemons, apples, wheat, almonds, and lots of other crops. Here are those photos:
Would you believe that they were actually raising cattle where the water was being pumped to? Here are those photos:
The weird thing was that in places where water wasn’t being pumped to, it was clear that things don’t grow there and here are some of those photos:
Now I don’t know whether it was a crack head, a hippie, or a politician who decided to have taxpayers pay millions and millions of dollars to pump precious California water to a desert area in order to grow crops, but I can assure you that the entire United States of America is not short on growing plenty of crops to feed the entire United States. It is very wasteful to pump water to this area of California in order to try to make things grow. I am actually really curious as to how much water is being lost by evaporation. I would guess that a high percentage of it is, since these water canals aren’t covered and water can freely evaporate. It would make a lot more sense for this area of California to put solar farms to provide energy that can be transmitted to other parts of the United States and have crops shipped to California. The electrical infrastructure is already here where these farms are. If you look in the background of some of the photos you will see power lines. It seems to me that the real water crisis is how the government of California is wasting the water. This is just one more reason why I can’t listen to the state of California’s government telling me to conserve water, while they are being so wasteful. I just can’t take the California drought seriously.
On this Memorial Day 2015, remembering all who served and paid the ultimate price for the United States.
Today I decided to drive down Lombard street in San Francisco, California. This road is known for being the windiest road. I thought it would be a nice novelty since I’m here in San Francisco anyway. In this first picture, I am sitting in traffic waiting to get to Lombard street and I snapped a picture of Alcatraz island in my rear view mirror.
I don’t know how much you’ll actually be able to see of the street because I haven’t even driven down it before and the photos will be taken from inside the vehicle, but I will give it my best shot.
I think the thing that was most surprising about Lombard street was that it was so short. The way they make it sound on t.v. is that it is this big windy street. The street only went 1 city block and it was more of a novelty than anything. Anyway, I can check that off my bucket list.
Since I was in San Francisco today I decided to take some photos from different vantage points of Alcatraz. One perspective was from Pier 39 with a flag flapping in the breeze. Another picture was from Pier 39 again, but over by the boat harbor where the sea lions were resting. The last shot was while I was waiting to go down Lombard street I took a photo of Alcatraz in the rear view mirror. I thought they were interesting perspectives.
Today I went to the Fisherman’s and took some different photos of the different things to see around there. Even though there was fog overhead, I think I got some pretty good shots. Some of the things I got to see where the harbor, San Francisco bay, Alcatraz, trolley cars, the Aquarium and the Bay, sea lions, the Golden Gate bridge, the San Francisco carousel at Pier 39, Pier 35, and some signs for restaurants and gift shops. Here are my photos of my experience.
I went and took some photos of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California today. The weather could have cooperated a little better, but at least it wasn’t raining. The was a fog in the bay and it didn’t really let up. I tried to document my whole experience from me taking photos on the north side of the bridge all the way across the bridge. Here are the photos from my experience.
Today I was trying to drive over to take photos of the Golden Gate Bridge and I found Muir Beach along the way, so I decided to stop and take some photos. Here are some of the photos I took at Muir Beach. As you can see today there was a fog moving through the area, but I still think I got some good shots.
Drove from Richmond, California to Sausalito, California today. Here are some of the photos that were taken along the way.
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘prejudice’ these days…………….A customer asked, “In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?”
The clerk asks, “Are you Polish?”
The guy, clearly offended, says, “Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”
The clerk says, “No, I probably wouldn’t.”
The guy says, “Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I’m Polish?”
The clerk replied, “Because you’re in an Ace Hardware.”
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
“Oh no, my dear,” replied granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even.
Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, “He’d still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn’t come along.”
Take some final shots before exiting the building.
Hang out at the studio until the end of The Show, snap some photos, thank the Rock 105.3 team and head out of the studio.
Here is an interview about a local dirt bike riding event happening in the local desert.
