Tag: Thoughts

Profound Quotes From Famous People Throughout History

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.’ – Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: ‘No good in a bed, but …

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Points to Ponder

Think About Life With a Higher Perspective

The Positive Side of Life

Love at 81

Maude and Claude, both 81, lived in The Villages, in Florida. They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each others’ company. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined …

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Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female…… Any part under a car’s hood. Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male….. Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. Male… Leaving …

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Fiscal Debt

Men

A man was granted two wishes by God, he asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa. ********************************************************* There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen. Rest get married …

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Golf Wisdom

Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. If you’re afraid a full shot might …

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Andy Rooney on Sex

1. When I was born, I was given a choice – a big pecker or a good memory….I don’t remember what I chose. 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. 4. Impotence: nature’s way of …

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His and Hers Diary

Her Diary Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation …

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Poignant Thoughts on the Swine Flu

Computers and Functions

[Abstract] The purpose of this document is to provide an increased or basic knowledge of a computer and what types of functions are necessary to be present in order for a piece of hardware to be considered a computer. [Content] A computer is a piece or multiple pieces of hardware that have the ability to …

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Fairy Tale

Cat Baths

A few thoughts on cat baths…by The Cat “But You Said You Loved Me!” “You will pay, as God is my witness, you will pay.” “Jeepers, you call this water warm???” “I don’t think I like you anymore.” “You SUCK!!!!!!” “E.T. phone home……quick!” “No, I’m not your Good Little Kitty anymore.” “Traction….I’m losing Traction!” “I …

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A Mother Suspects

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian”s mother couldn”t help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian”s room mate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, …

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Republican / Democrat, What is the Difference?

With the voting season coming I would like to share a few thoughts with you. First off I would like to say that I don’t pressure anybody into voting. The reason behind this is because it is a right and who am I to tell you what rights you should concern as your highest priority. …

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Issues With Dell

On March 5th, 2004 I decided I had been waiting around long enough to get a new computer. The predicament I kept running into though was that every time I tried customizing a computer on Dell’s website the price would jump up drastically. So I decided to call their phone support to help me with …

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