Tag: football

San Diego Chargers Cheerleaders

Last night was the opening NFL preseason football game between the Dallas Cowboys and the San Diego Chargers. Here are some photos I took of the San Diego Charger Cheerleaders from that event.

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female…… Any part under a car’s hood. Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male….. Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. Male… Leaving …

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Why Athletes Can’t Have Regular Jobs

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: “I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me.” 2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 …

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Old Fart Football

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‚ÄòSeven Points.’ His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’ The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’ A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says ‚ÄòTouchdown, tie score.’ After about five …

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Two Plastic Bags

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag. Oh …

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Things You’ve Always Wanted to Know…

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!) …

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Bubba

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, “Is it true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin People to git cancer?” “Yes, Bubba, sure is true,” responded the lawyer. “And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants Fer makin them fat an cloggin their arteries with all Them burgers an fries, is that …

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The Last Word

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight starving, dirty, smelled terrible, hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn’t know what to call her so we named her “Pussycat.” …

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Strange Buzzing Noise

As a woman passes her daughter”s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with vibrator. Shocked, she asked, “What in the world are you doing?” The daughter replied, “Mom, I”m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is …

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Plastic Garbage Bags

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There’s a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her….”Ma’am, there are $20 bills …

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