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Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES ¬∑ If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. ¬∑ If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Knucklehead and CRAP for Brains. EATING OUT ¬∑ When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will …
Little known Facts about MN
Minnesota became the 32nd state on May 11, 1858 and was originally settled by a lost tribe of Norwegians seeking refuge from the searing heat of Wisconsin’s winters. The state flag of Minnesota consists of a blue background upon which sits a design best described as “how a 7-year- old city girl would draw a …
Great Buddha (Daibutsu)
Rode the train to the Kamakura station to get a first hand look at the Great Buddha or Daibutsu in Japanese. This buddha was made out of bronze and you can go inside of it which is a pretty neat experience. Once inside if you touch the bronze that the sun is beating down on …
Honest Advertising
BMW’s campaign for their factory approved “pre-owned” cars.
Ueno Zoo
Went over to the Ueno zoo in Tokyo today. Here are some of the photos I took as I was walking around and checking out the different animals.
Costume Party
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good …
Nymphomaniac Convention
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane..He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat .. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted …
Will I Live to See 80?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well for my age. (Now over 65.) A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’ He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink …
An Airline With a Sense of Humor
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery! Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg . Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard …
Questions to Ponder
Can you cry under water? _____ How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? _____ Why do you have to “put your two cents in”…. but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to? _____ Once you’re in heaven, do you …
SlamFest
I got a ticket to go to the SlamFest that is being held on Camp Zama, Japan. This is like the Japanese WWE wrestling. It was a cool event that was put on for the United States and Japanese military and their families. It was a lot of fun and had some (quite literally) big …
Best Toast
John Murphy hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the …
Technical Support
This is India. It’s where you call when you have a technical problem with your computer.
How to Get Permission to Play Golf
During the 4th hole the following conversations took place: First Guy : You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend… I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend. Second Guy : That’s nothing; I had to …
Ask Dad
“Mom? I’ve got a questions. The guys at school are using words I don’t understand.” “What words, dear?” “Pussy and Bitch.” Mon inhaled sharply, buth then said: “Oh, that’s easy. A pussy is a cat, like our litle Fluffy. A bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy.” He then found his Dad out in …
For Those Who Don’t Like Heights
Formerly — the Sears Tower Not content with having the tallest building in America , the owners of Willis Tower in Chicago have installed four glass box viewing platforms which stick out of the building 103 floors up. The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut out four feet from the building’s …
Banana Split
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’
An 82 Year-old Man
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’ Morris replied, ‘Just doing …
Three Old Guys
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer..’
A Senior Citizen
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: ‘So I hear you’re getting married?’ ‘Yep!’ ‘Do I know her?’ ‘Nope!’ ‘This woman, is she good looking?’ ‘Not really.’ ‘Is she a good cook?’ ‘Naw, she can’t cook too well.’ ‘Does she have lots of money?’ ‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’ ‘Well, then, is …
Couple in Their Nineties
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ …
Hospital Regulations
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly …
Nippon Maru Maritime Training Ship
Took the train over to the Sakura-gicho train station in Yokohama today to wander around and see what sights were to be seen. While there I boarded the Nippon Maru maritime training ship that is permanently docked in Yokohama and now used as a museum.
Two Elderly Gentlemen
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’ Slim says, ‘I feel just like a newborn …