Tag: dick

Donkey Kong is an A-hole!

Donkey Kong is an A-hole! I never knew I would have such strong feelings for a video game character, but I do. I hate him. I hate everything about him. I will show you some proof of why I think he’s an a-hole. First off let me start by saying that only an a-hole would …

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IRS Auditor

While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?” “Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up …

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Marriage Counseling

A married couple goes to a marriage counselor to work out some problems. The counselor sits them down and says “Let’s start by talking about what you both have in common.” The husband says, “Well for starters, neither one of us will suck a dick.”

Text Message

Got this text from my brother recently. It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol’ Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick….. It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!”

Lesbonics

1 . What do you call a pantry full of lesbians? A. licker cabinet. 2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A. Klondike . 3.. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? A. Militia Etheridge. 4. Why can’t lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? A. Because they can’t eat Jenny …

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Ear infection

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor’s office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what’s wrong–and sometimes it is embarrassing. There’s nothing worse than a doctor’s receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I …

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Priceless Speeding Ticket

Telling Husband you’re going out for the night with the “Girls”… $0.00. Red Leather Jacket for night out with the “Girls”… $200.00. Getting a Radar photo speeding ticket while out with the “Girls”… $90.00. Having husband open the mailed radar ticket, looking at the “photo proof” and seeing you, his dear wife, with another man’s …

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IRS Audit

At the end of the tax year the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said, “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?” “Good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We save …

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Little Animal

Going through life is hard enough, but to go through life looking like a dick with buck teeth must be horrible!

Cowboys Don’t Like to be Bested

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales began. The first said, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men …

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