Tag: President

America’s Smartest President

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Holly Madison said, “I have my own reality show and I am the smartest and prettiest woman at Playboy, so American’s don’t want me to die.” She took the first pack and jumped out of the …

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Presidents Day

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her,What day is tomorrow?” Without skipping a beat she said, “It’s Presidents Day!” . She’s smart, so I asked her “What does Presidents Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Barack Obama, George W. Bush or Bill Clinton, etc. She replied, “Presidents Day …

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Putin’s Speech on Feb. 04, 2013

This is one time our elected leaders should pay attention to the advice of Vladimir Putin…. how scary is that? On February 4th, 2013, Vladimir Putin, the Russian president, addressed the Duma (Russian Parliament) and gave a speech about the tensions with minorities in Russia: “In Russia live Russians. Any minority, from anywhere, if it …

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British Papers Show No Mercy For President Obama

Signs

India School of Business – Lesson 1

Rajpat (father): I want you to marry a girl of my choice. Son: “I will choose my own bride!” Rajpat: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter..” Son: “Well, in that case… ok” Next Rajpat approaches Bill Gates. Rajpat: “I have a husband for your daughter…” Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to …

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Why Are Men Never Depressed?

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack… You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a …

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They Sent My Census Form Back

In answer to the question, ‘Do you have any dependents?’, I put … ’12 million illegal immigrants, crack heads, unemployable bastards, the cast of The Jerry Springer Show, 140,000 people in our 133 penal establishments in California, leftovers from Katrina, half of Mexico, much of the Congress & staff, most of the Senate and a …

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Virginia Earth Quake Fault line

Just released by the White House Press Corp – Today, President Barack Obama re-named the fault line in Virginia where the recent earth quake struck, Bush’s Fault. No other details were given.

A Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.¬† ‚Ä®¬† I asked God for …

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