Tag: President

America’s Smartest President

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Holly Madison said, “I have my own reality show and I am the smartest and prettiest woman at Playboy, so American’s don’t want me to die.” She took the first pack and jumped out of the …

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Presidents Day

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her,What day is tomorrow?” Without skipping a beat she said, “It’s Presidents Day!” . She’s smart, so I asked her “What does Presidents Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Barack Obama, George W. Bush or Bill Clinton, etc. She replied, “Presidents Day …

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Putin’s Speech on Feb. 04, 2013

This is one time our elected leaders should pay attention to the advice of Vladimir Putin…. how scary is that? On February 4th, 2013, Vladimir Putin, the Russian president, addressed the Duma (Russian Parliament) and gave a speech about the tensions with minorities in Russia: “In Russia live Russians. Any minority, from anywhere, if it …

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British Papers Show No Mercy For President Obama

Signs

India School of Business – Lesson 1

Rajpat (father): I want you to marry a girl of my choice. Son: “I will choose my own bride!” Rajpat: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter..” Son: “Well, in that case… ok” Next Rajpat approaches Bill Gates. Rajpat: “I have a husband for your daughter…” Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to …

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Why Are Men Never Depressed?

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack… You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a …

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They Sent My Census Form Back

In answer to the question, ‘Do you have any dependents?’, I put … ’12 million illegal immigrants, crack heads, unemployable bastards, the cast of The Jerry Springer Show, 140,000 people in our 133 penal establishments in California, leftovers from Katrina, half of Mexico, much of the Congress & staff, most of the Senate and a …

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Virginia Earth Quake Fault line

Just released by the White House Press Corp – Today, President Barack Obama re-named the fault line in Virginia where the recent earth quake struck, Bush’s Fault. No other details were given.

A Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.¬† ‚Ä®¬† I asked God for …

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Square Testicles

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an …

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Walking Eagle

President Barack Obama was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York. He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for …

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New Truck

I bought a new Chevy Avalanche And returned to the dealer yesterday Because I couldn’t get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. ‘Nelson,’ the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’ ‘Willie!’ he continued and ‘On The Road Again’ Came from the speakers. Then …

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An Actual Craig’s List Personal AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacke t that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for …

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Politics: Together We Can Make it Happen

There are two months until the General Election, an election that will decide the next President of the United States . The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. It’s time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike. If you support the policies and …

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Interesting Story

I’m reminded of the time that Catherine, a little girl in our neighborhood told me that she wanted to be President one day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with me – and I asked Catherine – ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’ Catherine replied …

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G.W. Bush Intelligence

After numerous rounds of “We don”t know if Osama is still alive,” Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H Bush was baffled, so …

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President Bush’s Inaugural Speech Summary

This document will cover the key points of the 2005 presidential inaugural speech that was given by George W. Bush in January 2005. Within the Presidential speech you may or may not have heard key points that were a bit confusing. This document will try to mitigate any confusion by spelling it out in plain …

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Don’t Close the Blinds

The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that …

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2004 Daytona 500

Today I watched the Daytona 500, this is unusual for me because this is the first stock car race I have ever seen. Before the start of the race they had Leanne Rimes sing R.O.C.K. in the USA and then she went on to sing the National Anthem. Also they had President George W. Bush …

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