The r8 revolver from Counter Strike Global Offensive (Csgo) is over powered, and it’s your mini hand-held awp. Also, everyone in Csgo is running around with the gun being cowboys. If you’re playing the game keep an eye out for me
Suicide is Not the Answer
I was in Japan, between July 2008 – November 2014, there was a Captain in the Army that was stationed there during the same time. One year he brought his mother to the Christmas party where I had cooked Kalua pork. He was a nice guy, I never had any problems with him. He rode a little moped around the base and work some whacky shirts. We would communicate, share jokes through e-mail, and sometimes at work I would go over to his desk and talk with him for a while. You know nothing close, but somebody I knew from work and stayed in touch with. He was forced out of the United States Army as he was passed over for promotion a couple of times. I guess he really loved being in the Army because the news hit him pretty hard. After he got out he moved to San Diego and we stayed in touch. He would write to me and tell me how he’s surfing and he bought his mother a house in Las Vegas, he met a girl, etc. January 15th, 2014 I wrote him to let him know that I got my server working again since my server crashed and was down for a short term. I didn’t get a response back. So I just thought maybe he was traveling or busy. Then on January 20th, 2014 I received an e-mail from his mother telling me that Chris had committed suicide on January 18th. It was only 3 days after my last e-mail. In her letter she asked for me to be a conduit to get the word to others in the US Army who knew Chris. When I went into work and shared the news with others it was pretty sad. I couldn’t believe that somebody who was so happy was so devastated by being forced out of the Army that he took his own life.
This is what eats at me to this day. Six months after Chris committed suicide I received an assignment to San Diego, California. I actually arrived in San Diego in November of 2014. I’ve been here for a year and don’t know many people. I don’t really go out much unless it is to work or with my family. If Chris hadn’t committed suicide we would be able to hang out, we could check out the surf locations, or no matter what it was I’m sure we would have good times. It always makes me wonder about what could have been or what he would be doing today. Who knows? He certainly is missed. R.I.P. Captain Christopher Atencio.
When You’re Over 60, Who Cares?
Cowboy: “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”
Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
Cowboy: “Nah.. She’s purty good lookin’…..”
When you are over sixty, who cares?
***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
When you are over sixty, who cares?
***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
“Really” she said, “Go on then…try.”
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?”
I said, “Yesterday.”
When you are over sixty, who cares?
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over sixty, who gives a shit
When you are over sixty, who cares?
***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a FAT chick dancing on a table. I said, “Good legs.”
The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so.”
I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”
When you are over sixty, who cares?
Study: Smelling Farts May Be Good For Your Health
The next time someone in your office, room or space lets out a “silent but deadly” emission, maybe you should thank them. A new study at the University of Exeter in England suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide — a.k.a. what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, causing gas — could prevent mitochondria damage. Yep, the implication is what you’re thinking: People are taking the research to mean that smelling farts could prevent disease and even cancer.
The study, published in the Medicinal Chemistry Communications journal, found that hydrogen sulfide gas in rotten eggs and flatulence could be a key factor in treating diseases.
“Although hydrogen sulfide gas is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases,” Dr. Mark Wood, a professor at the University of Exeter, said in a statement.
While hydrogen sulfide gas is harmful in large doses, the study suggests that “a whiff here and there has the power to reduce risks of cancer, strokes, heart attacks, arthritis, and dementia by preserving mitochondria,” Time reports.
Dr. Matt Whiteman, a University of Exeter professor who worked on the study, said in a statement that researchers are even replicating the natural gas in a new compound, AP39, to reap its health benefits. The scientists are delivering “very small amounts” of AP39 directly into mitochondrial cells to repair damage, which “could hold the key to future therapies,” the university’s statement reveals.
You’ll have to decide for yourself, though, whether exposure to hydrogen sulfide in flatulence is worth the potential health benefits.
Alerts to Threats in 2015 Europe
From John Cleese
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.
Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person
And as a final thought – Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.
Life is too short…
Famous Beer Quotes
“Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.” -Will Rogers
Sometimes, after playing golf, I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, “It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
-Babe Ruth
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
-Winston Churchill
“When I read about the evils of drinking after golfing I gave up reading.”
-Paul Horning
“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”
-H. L. Mencken
“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”
–George Bernard Shaw
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
-Benjamin Franklin
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
-Dave Barry
BEER: HELPING PEOPLE!
-W. C. Fields
Remember “I” before “E,” except in Budweiser.
-Professor Irwin Corey
To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
-Leo Durocher
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: “Well, ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Train Driver
A young couple were going at it on a Railway track. The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it. He applies brakes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple. Driver jumps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up and zipping up his pants.
The driver shouts out to the boy “Do you realize that if I had not seen you, this would have been your last time you ever had sex?!!!”
Boy – “Listen dude, you were coming… She was coming…. and I was coming…. then I realized ….only you had brakes.”
Wild Willies Beard Butter
I decided to buy sometime to take care of a beard and when I was looking around on Amazon I found a product called, “Wild Willies Beard Butter.” I thought it looked interesting enough to give it a try. It cost $10.77. The package arrived after a couple of days and when I opened it up I was surprised by the size of it. This container is so small it is about the size of a 50 cent piece and not even a 1/2 inch tall. It has a twist off cap and comes with a handy bag. That’s probably so you won’t lose it.
The directions say to scrape a small amount, as if you could get a large amount out of this small container, of balm into your hands and rub between fingers. Work into wet or damp beard from root to tip. Repeat as needed.
I’ve been using this for a couple of days and so far I can’t tell what it does other than makes my beard smell the scent of the balm. It hasn’t really softened it up or done anything special for it. I would say that was not a well spent $10.77. If you are thinking about doing the same thing, keep looking for a better product.
Dollar Shave Club
I’ve been hearing about the “Dollar Shave Club” for a while now as a radio advertisement. After thinking about it and trying to figure out how it works, I decided to break down and give it a try. I see there are 3 different types of razors offered. There is a 9 dollar 6 blade razor, a 6 dollar 4 blade razor, and a 4 dollar 2 blade razor. I decided to go with the 6 dollar 4 blade razor. So far from what I can tell how this works is that you sign up on the website and put in your shipping and billing information and then every month they automatically charge you the amount of money and ship you a new razor. Quite honestly I don’t have loyalty to a razor company and as long as it shaves what I want it to shave without hurting me, I’m o.k. with it.
After I signed up they gave me this referral link: Dollar Shave Club Referral Link
If anybody signs up by using this link it will allow us to save money. One thing I do like about this is that I have razors delivered right to my door without having to do anything, but to sign up on their website. After thinking about a little bit, if I had to sign up on a different website for each product I wanted delivered straight to my doorstep, that is a pretty inefficient way of doing things. I’m fine with this for now because I’m just testing it out, but I hope this isn’t a sign of the way of the future. That’s about all I know for now and I’ll make an update post after I receive my 1st razor.
Imperial Beach, California
Went over to Imperial Beach, California today to check out the pier, the ocean, and the scenery. Here are some photos that I took while I was there. It gives a different point of view of San Diego and the surrounding area. In the photos you can see the Imperial Beach pier, San Diego, Coronado island, and Point Loma. It is a pretty nice and relaxing place to enjoy the beach.
Poker
Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Les’ wife, Sue wasn’t wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Les’s wife followed and asked, “Did you see anything that you like under there?” Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, “Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.”
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.
Sue told him that since her husband Les played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn’t, Jim should be at her house around 2 P.M. Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Les’s house at 2 P.M. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 – they went to the bedroom, and closed their transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Les came home from golf at 6 P.M. And upon arriving, asked his wife: “Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?”
With a lump in her throat Sue answered, “Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.” Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, “And did he give you $500?”
Sue, using her best poker face, replied, “Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.”
Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, “He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he’d stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.”
Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8. Life is sexually transmitted.
#7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6. Men have 2 motivations: hunger and sex, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5. Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, or maybe years.
#4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2. In the ’60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
40 Years of Marriage
A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’
The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.’
The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment:
‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish!
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female…
Halloween Jack-o-lantern by Shock Top Beer
I went to the supermarket today and there was this cool display by Shock Top beer. Personally, I’ve never heard of Shock Top before, but I think their jack-o-lantern is pretty cool. Here are a couple of photos so you can see for yourself.
Best Insurance Story of the Year
This actually took place in Charlotte, North Carolina.
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost ‘in a series of small fires.’
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued and won!
(Stay with me.)
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable ‘fire’ and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the ‘fires’.
Now for the best part…
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This true story won First Place in last year’s Criminal Lawyers Award contest.
Only in America…no wonder the rest of the world thinks we’re nuts.
Point Loma Nazarene University
Drove over to Point Loma Nazarene University today in San Diego, California. Here are some of the photos that were taken around there. The thing that is so spectacular is the location. The university is overlooking the Pacific Ocean near the sunset cliffs. The views are just stunning and some of the architecture is neat too.
Do Not Smack a Cop’s Horse
Be advised that it may be in your best interest to not smack a cop’s horse.