Tag: listen

The Blonde Golfer

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that …

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2015 California Drought

You may have noticed in the news lately where the media has been discussing the California sever drought and water crisis. There are commercials that tell residents of California to conserve water and this affects everybody. I have heard that the majority of water consumption for the state of California is between the state government …

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Marriage (written by kids)

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10 -No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to …

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A Touching Moment…

This letter was sent to the Broken Hill High School Principal’s office in Broken Hill, Australia after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind. …

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Win Back the Hearts of Voters for 2014

Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, “Harry, I have a plan to win back the hearts of voters in Middle America in 2014!” “Great Nancy, but how?” asked Harry. “We’ll get some cheap, tacky clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the animal shelter …

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Words

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’

Where did Piss Poor Come From?

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery… if you had to do this to survive you were “Piss Poor.” But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even …

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Spelling

Did you know “listen” and “silent” use the same letters? Do you know that the words “race car” spelled backwards still spells “race car”? And that “eat” is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense “ate”? And have you noticed that …

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The Female Demerit System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system: …

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Routing Protocols

[Abstract] The purpose of this document is to explain different routing protocols by using them within a scenario of being charged to reconfigure a company‚Äôs network. In the past static routes have been used and, for the scenario, I would like to ease the configuration of routing information. I am concerned about processor utilization if …

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Hearing Problems

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your …

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How to Decide who to Marry:

How to Decide who to Marry: You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. …

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Job Interview

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer, who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket, went in to apply for the job. “Ok,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is one and one?” “Eleven,” Gomer replied. The sheriff thought to himself, “That”s not what I meant, but he”s right.” So he …

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Fart in Bed

This is a story about a couple, totally devoted to each other, who had been happily married for years. The only wee problem in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise wakes his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp …

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Radio Station Took Suggestion

A person I work with showed me a website with photos of a person for a “Thong of the Day” and a “Babe of the Day.” Although this website had a great idea I have never listened to this radio station before. I do however listen to another radio station and they had a link …

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Drinking Etiquette

Occasionally when I’m out drinking with friends there is a stranger who will walk up and want to tell you his life story. I’m always more than 100% willing to listen to what they have to say, but it always comes at a cost. I consider it good etiquette that if you are going to …

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