Tag: Father

Being a Great Dad

A young woman visits her parents and brings her fiancée to meet them. After an elaborate dinner, the mother tells her husband to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his library for a drink. “So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man. “I am a Torah …

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Rules Are Rules

A young boy comes down for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his Mother asks if he has done his chores. “Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little ticked off so when he feeds the chickens, he kicks a chicken. …

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Ten Commandments

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘honour’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’ Without missing a beat one little boy, the oldest of a family, …

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7 Reasons Not To Mess with Children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.  The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.   Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a …

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Irish Catholic Confession

‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.’ The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.’ Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve …

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Temptation

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?’ The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.” The priest then asked, “Have you …

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Father

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning they went to …

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5 Minute Management Course

Lesson 1 A priest offered a Nun a lift…She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg…….The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he …

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Pants and Panties

Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat. He said, ‘Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, ‘Here, try these on..” She did and said, ‘These …

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He Wore His Collar Backwards

A little boy got on the city bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father.” The little boy replied, “My Dad doesn’t wear his collar …

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Customs

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?” “Of course child. What may I do for you?” “Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll …

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