Tag: husband

Government

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you”ve been married ten times?” “Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me …

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The Thimble

One day, a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river and her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?” The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed the thimble to help her husband in making …

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Never Piss A Woman Off

A wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength borne of fury, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed in the back yard and put his penis in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed …

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Difference Between Men and Women Showering

How to Shower Like a Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note …

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Questions & Answers

Q: What’s a mixed feeling?A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. Q: What’s the height of conceit?A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. Q: What’s the definition of macho?A: Jogging home from your vasectomy. Q: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?A: …

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The Prisoner

A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns, but all he finds is a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair. While …

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Breakfast

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful … CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my Gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to …

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Fart in Bed

This is a story about a couple, totally devoted to each other, who had been happily married for years. The only wee problem in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise wakes his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp …

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CompUSA Never Ceases to Amaze

Today I was scheduled to take the Microsoft 70-290 exam. I went over to the CompUSA testing center and went in to take the test. When I got there I found out the test proctor’s husband had a stroke and she was unable to give the test. You would think CompUSA would have planned for …

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Which is Worse, Sitting at Home Alone or Hanging Out With Lamers?

Last night I was bored so I decided to walk over to a friend’s house nearby. While there some other people showed up. Then they start prank calling people who they had in their cell phone address book. I felt like I was back in middle school again so I decided to go back home …

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