Tag Archive: hurt

Feb 20

Walking on the Grass

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or …

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Sep 17

Dear Mum Letter

A mother passing by her son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Mum’. With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. ‘Dear, Mum. It is …

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Sep 02

At the Doctor’s Office

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. ‘Impossible!’ says the doctor.. ‘Show me.’ The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed …

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Feb 10

Bulging Pockets

A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.” The blonde continued to look at him for …

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Jul 09

Would You Marry Again?

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question…. WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married Again?” HUSBAND: “Definitely not!” WIFE: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?” HUSBAND: “Of course I do..” WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you …

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May 23

Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that His bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Dad: …

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Jan 19

Blonde Logic

Blonde Logic Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?” The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooo oooo, can you see Florida?” Car Trouble A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She …

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Dec 13

Stun Gun

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this : Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something …

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Jul 03

Hillbilly Medical Terms

Benign………………….What you be after you be eight. Bacteria………………..Back door to cafeteria. Barium…………………What you do with dead folks. Cesarean Section……A neighborhood in Rome. Catscan……………….Searching for the cat.Cauterize……………..Made eye contact with her. Colic……………………A sheep dog. Coma………………….A punctuation mark. D&C……………………Where Washington is. Dilate………………….To live longer than your kids do.’, ‘Enema………………Not a friend. Fester……………….Quicker than someone else. Fibula………………..A small …

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Jun 07

Be Careful When You Have a Fast Car, it Could Hurt

A man goes out and buys a new Vette convertible. One night he takes it out for a spin, and stops at a red light. An old man pulls up next to him riding a mo-ped. The old man looks over the Vette and says, “What kind of car ya got there sonny?” The man …

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