A little boy got on the city bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father.”
The little boy replied, “My Dad doesn’t wear his collar like that.”
The priest looked up from his book and answered, “I am the Father of many.”
The boy said‚ “My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.”
The priest, getting impatient, said‚ “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, “Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards Instead of your collar.”
He Wore His Collar Backwards
3 Hillbillies
Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin’ the breeze.
1st Hillbilly says: “My wife sure is stupid!…She bought an air conditioner. ”
2nd Hillbilly says: “Why is that stupid?”
1st Hillbilly says: “We ain’t got no ‘lectricity!”
2nd Hillbilly says: “That’s nothin’! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin ‘ machines!”
1st Hillbilly says: “Why is that so stupid?”
2nd Hillbilly says: “‘Cause we ain’t got no plummin’!”
3rd Hillbilly says: “That ain’t nuthin’! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin’ fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.”
1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: “Well, what’s so dumb about that?”
3rd Hillbilly says: “She ain’t got no pecker.
Only a Mom Would Know
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home..
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know… ‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?
Customs
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”
“Of course child. What may I do for you?”
“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”
“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.”
“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.”
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”
“I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is to date, unused.”
Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next!”
Anger Management
Sometimes when you are angry with someone, it helps to sit down and think about the problem.
50th Anniversary
A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
‘Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad,’ gushed son number one …. ‘Sorry I’m running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn’t have time to get you a gift.’
‘Not to worry, ‘ said the father. ‘The important thing is that we’re all together today.’
Son number two arrived and announced, ‘You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions a nd didn’t have time to shop for you.’
‘It’s nothing,’ said the father, ‘We’re glad you were able to come.’
Just then the daughter arrived, ‘Hello and happy anniversary! I’m sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn’t have time to get you anything.’
After they had finished dessert, the father said, ‘There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married.’
The three children gasped and all said, ‘You mean we’re bastards?’
‘Yep,’ said the father. ‘And cheap ones too.’
Networking Protocols and Models
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to explain different networking protocols and models by explaining what is needed to upgrade a network from a bus topology to a star topology. Also included within this document is information about a network design to allow for maximum users with maximum throughput for 100Mbps to the customer’s desktop within the star topology.
[Content]
When considering changing the topology on a business network, it is important to know information about different network topologies and benefits of each. The four most commonly found network topologies are the star, ring, bus, and mesh (Mitchell, 2008). The star topology has a centralized device, that which is like a hub of a wheel, with multiple connections going out to different devices. The ring topology has multiple devices along a network ring and they can either send data only one way or they can send data bi-directionally. The bus topology has a single path with multiple devices connected along that path and terminators on each end of the path. The bus topology was most commonly found as using coaxial cable at 10Mbps with multiple computers connected in series to it. The mesh topology has multiple devices with multiple paths between devices; this is by far the most complex and most robust topology out of the group. Knowing about the different types of network topologies, helps a customer know which will best suite their needs.
When making a decision of upgrading from a bus topology to a star topology, there are many choices that need to be made prior to making the best decision. The first most important decision to be made is about what type of media is going to be used. If existing CAT-5 or CAT-5e cable is present, it would be recommended to reutilize that, however since it is most likely that coaxial cable was used the other option is to use fiber optic cable. Fiber optic cable would be an ideal choice in the event that long distances or network security are major concerns for the computer network. Since neither of these was identified as possible issues, we’ll assume that CAT-6 cable is being used. The reinstallation of the network infrastructure is the most major part for upgrading from a bus to a star topology.
In order to get a complete idea of what is needed to upgrade the network, all necessary hardware pieces need to be identified. First and foremost if the local computers do not have 100BaseT network interface cards (NICs) in them, then enough NICs need to be purchased to populate all of the necessary computers. Additionally drop boxes and patch panels will be needed to be purchased for the infrastructure to interconnect the communications closet to the local users work areas. Depending on how many users are going to be on the network, I would recommend purchasing smaller Cisco 3750 switches for each office. The Cisco 3750 switches need to have 2 Gigabit uplink ports to be able to connect to the centralized hub of the topology. I recommend using a Cisco Catalyst 4506, 6509, or 6513, depending on how large the network is going to be. If all users are going to be located in one building, then just one major switch can be utilized with no secondary switches needed, however if a few buildings or one large building is going to be used, then there may be a need for additional switches. I also recommend the Cisco catalyst switch to have redundant power supplies, supervisory cards, and uplinks to the router that is routing traffic out of the local area network. This is due to this one piece of equipment being the single point of failure, having redundant power supplies, supervisory cards, and uplinks all ensure there is minimal downtime in the event of a hardware failure.
Even though some equipment will be located at the local users work areas, some of the equipment will be located in the communications closet. It is recommended that the central core switch is located in the communications closet because physical security ensures a raised level of security on a computer network. Also located in the communications closet will be a patch panel that with the use of patch cords will interconnect the core switch to the local user’s workstations. Also located in the communications closet should be an uninterruptible power supply (UPS). The UPS should be large enough to keep all equipment in the communications closet online in the event of a power outage. Also located in the communications closet should be the router and point of demarcation for the LAN to be routed out of the building. All necessary core communications equipment, with supporting power equipment, and horizontal distribution for the network should be secured within the communications closet.
There are some key steps that need to be taken in order to ensure maximum network security and throughput can be maintained. All critical network, power, and horizontal distribution equipment should be locked and secured within the communications closet. Physical security is one level to ensuring the complete network is secure. Additionally, the configuration of all networking devices should be using port security. This ensures that only authorized computers are provided with network connectivity. Third it is recommended that any unused ports on any networking equipment are disabled. The horizontal distribution patch panel should only have patch cables for ports that are being used to be connected to the core switch. This ensures unauthorized users do not plug an unauthorized device into an open port on the network infrastructure to obtain network connectivity. To maximize network throughput it is recommended that wherever an additional switch is being used to utilized two uplink ports from that switch to the core switch and establish a Gigabit EtherChannel (GEC). The GEC establishes a two gigabit connection between switches and ensures there is enough bandwidth necessary to support all users (Cisco). Maintaining network security and maximum throughput on a network are essential for both protecting the network and ensuring scalability of the network, today and in the future.
In conclusion, when upgrading from a network bus topology to a star topology it is important to invest, not only in the infrastructure, but also in the core devices. By making the investment the network can maintain a high level of security, as well as, a high level of scalability. Proper configuration of networking devices also ensures a high level of security and a maximum level of data throughput for all users. Security all critical networking equipment in the communications closest guarantees the star topology is a more ideal choice to meet all the company’s business needs.
References
1. Mitchell, Bradley Topologies – Network Topologies – Types of Topology Examples – Bus Ring Star. Retrieved September 7, 2008, from Topologies – Network Topologies – Types of Topology Examples – Bus Ring Star Web site: http://compnetworking.about.com/od/networkdesign/a/topologies.htm
2. Catalyst 5000 Family Software Configuration Guide (6.3 and 6.4) – Configuring Fast EtherChannel and Gigabit EtherChannel [Cisco Catalyst 5000 Series Switches] – Cisco Systems. Retrieved September 7, 2008, from Catalyst 5000 Family Software Configuration Guide (6.3 and 6.4) – Configuring Fast EtherChannel and Gigabit EtherChannel [Cisco Catalyst 5000 Series Switches] – Cisco Systems Web site: [URL Removed Broken link]
Buttercups and Golfballs
Towards the end of the golf course, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden . . .POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, “I’m Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won’t have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better still, you won’t have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life…As a matter of fact, you’ll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!” Then POOF! … She was gone!
After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, “Fred, where are you?” Fred yells back, “I’m over here in the pussy willows.”
Dave shouts back, “Don’t swing, Fred, for the love of god, don’t swing!”
Hallmark Writers
Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day……..
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don’t fret about it.. .
She moved in with me.
Looking back over the years
that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder…..
‘What the hell was I thinking?’
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
I’ve always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I’ve changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…
That you’re not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia)
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
When we were together,
you always said you’d die for me.
Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let’s say we stop?
I’m so miserable without you
it’s almost like you’re here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
Network Design Scenario
[Scenario]
Schaumburg Elementary is a four-year-old, single-level building with 12 classrooms and a library. Each classroom currently has 24 students but could possibly seat 32 students. There are currently no portable classrooms but a student enrollment growth is just starting to hit the school.
Enough computers are available for six classrooms and the library immediately, and the intent is to outfit the remaining six classrooms next year. The plan is to make the Internet and some online services available to the students. The computers are current enough to be useful for at least two years.
The library, which is somewhat centrally located, is where the server(s) and router connecting the school to the Internet will be located. Assume that all rooms will have 24 computers and that each room will use a stackable hub solution that combines a 12-port hub and a 24-port hub for 36 total ports. Being stackable units, the network will see each stack as a single 36-port device.
[Content]
When looking at the scenario for the elementary school, or any networking design scenario, it is important to first understand all of the requirements that are set by the customer. We know there are enough computers to outfit seven classrooms and the library. Based upon the information provided we know we potentially have 24 students in each classroom and perhaps the same for the library, which is approximately 168 computers. Another requirement identified by the customer is that they intend to outfit another six classrooms in the next upcoming year, which means there will be a need for another 168 computers. We also know the school does not have an infinite budget and is in the classroom environment, so the room design may change based upon teachers wants or needs. The current design for the network is using a star topology and is located in a single story building. The school has agreed to upgrade from hubs to stackable switches allowing for a total of 36 ports per classroom.
The next step to choosing to most ideal solution for a customer is to know their physical layout and requirements and start choosing the media and best devices to suite the customer’s needs. Typically when designing a network it is common practice to put together a plan that meets the current requirements, plus a 30% overhead for future growth, however in this scenario the school is going to be upgrading 6 additional classrooms within the next year and each switch in the classroom already has plenty of room for future expansion with 36 ports. Since the school does not have an unlimited budget and currently has hubs in place and the building is only 4 years old, we can assume CAT-5, CAT-5e, or CAT-6 cable was previously installed into the building, and therefore we know our data speeds will be either 10/100/1000Mbps. If a previous network was not installed, we could recommend a wireless network to allow for the change of the classroom layout and to cut the costs of cabling. Since the scenario does not specify we will assume CAT-5e or CAT-6 was installed and we will reutilize current cabling infrastructure to better suit our design needs. With knowing the star topology and a current requirement for 6 classrooms to be outfitted and the library, we can begin to form a recommendation to the school. We will recommend using seven 12-port stackable switches with two uplink ports, seven 24-port switches with two uplink ports, and one core distribution switch with at least 12-gigabit ports. The uplink ports are essential because they will provide the gigabit uplink to the core switch. The second step in the design of a network is to look at the physical connectivity and put that together with current equipment that can be found on the market.
The third step in designing a network is to look at how many IP addresses will be needed and plan to accommodate all for now and the future. Since the school advised us that it could only afford 2 public IP addresses, we know we are going to using the network address translation protocol in the router and therefore we can use a private IP address range for all the devices on the network. We know the school currently needs approximately 168 IP addresses for computers, one for the server, one for the switch, and one for the router, which brings us to a total of 171 total IP addresses. A private class “C” network would accommodate 253 hosts and the current needs of this infrastructure, however we know we are going to add another 168 computers next year, so we should use a class “B” network because it allows for a total of 1,048,576 contiguous IP addresses. The 3rd step to designing a network is to plan for ease of configuration and accommodate all hosts/devices on the customer’s network.
The 4th step to the network design proposal is to get the pricing of different types of equipment from different vendors. Listed below is a price list of the necessary equipment and cabling needed for this project with references for each device.
Device Cost Quantity Reference
Solution #1
Cisco Catalyst 3750-24PS SMI Switch $3,199.99 7 http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&q=cisco+catalyst+3750&cid=7157816595940066664#ps-sellers
Cisco WS-CE500G-12TC Switch $1,229.99 7 http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/searchtools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=3505616&Sku=C94-2180&SRCCODE=GOOGLEBASE&cm_mmc_o=TBBTkwCjCVyBpAgf%20mwzygtCjCVRqCjCVRq
Cisco WS-C3560G-24PS-E Switch $6,921.95 1
Linksys Router RVS4000 $137.95 1 [URL Removed Broken link]
Blackbox Cable 1000ft $216.99 2 http://www.onsale.com/shop/detail.aspx?dpno=499593&store=onsale&source=bwbfroogle
Belkin CAT6 RJ-45(M) Network Connector, 100 Pack $43.99 10 http://www.superwarehouse.com/p.cfm?p=1525507&CMP=KAC-GoogleShopping&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=1525507
Crimpers $24.10 1 http://www.antonline.com/p_RJ4511TOOL-GP_221794.htm
Total Cost $38,967.74
Solution #2
Netgear GSM7328S Switch $1,749.99 15 http://www.netgear.com/Products/Switches/FullyManaged10_100_1000Switches.aspx
Netgear RP614 Router $49.99 1 http://www.netgear.com/Products/RoutersandGateways/WiredRouters/RP614.aspx
Blackbox Cable 1000ft $216.99 2 http://www.onsale.com/shop/detail.aspx?dpno=499593&store=onsale&source=bwbfroogle
Belkin CAT6 RJ-45(M) Network Connector, 100 Pack $43.99 10 http://www.superwarehouse.com/p.cfm?p=1525507&CMP=KAC-GoogleShopping&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=1525507
Crimpers $24.10 1 http://www.antonline.com/p_RJ4511TOOL-GP_221794.htm
Total Cost $27,198.82
Solution #3
3Com 3CR17761-91 $2,143.79 7 http://www.provantage.com/3com-3cr17761-91~73COT06U.htm
3Com 3CR17660-91-US $916.15 7 http://www.eworldsale.com/3com-12-port-4200g-gigabit-switch-4x-mini-gbic-1x-xenpak-1u-stackable_6027_13292.html
3Com 3C13640-US $384.33 1 http://www.provantage.com/3com-3c13640~73COI01F.htm
Blackbox Cable 1000ft $216.99 2 http://www.onsale.com/shop/detail.aspx?dpno=499593&store=onsale&source=bwbfroogle
Belkin CAT6 RJ-45(M) Network Connector, 100 Pack $43.99 10 http://www.superwarehouse.com/p.cfm?p=1525507&CMP=KAC-GoogleShopping&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=1525507
Crimpers $24.10 1 http://www.antonline.com/p_RJ4511TOOL-GP_221794.htm
Total Cost $22,701.89
Step 5 to the network design is to put together a proposal, which explains the requirements, the equipment necessary, the advantages and disadvantages of each, and the costs involved with the project.
In conclusion, when putting together a network design proposal for a customer it is best to start with looking at the customer’s requirements, then look at the physical aspects of the network, moving to the data link (switching aspects), planning the network/IP addressing, and then put it all together into one proposal to provide to the customer for them to decide which will best suite their needs.
Urologist
My internist referred me to a female urologist. I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous. She’s beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She told me that I have to stop masturbating.
I asked her why and she said, “Because I’m trying to examine you…”
You Finish?
The Italian Lover, a virile middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.
After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, “So, you finish?”
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, “No.”
Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, “You finish?”
Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, ‘No.’
Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, “You finish?”
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear, “No, I Norwegian.”
Competitive Intelligence and Information Systems
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to compare ethical issues that may or may not exist with using an information system, which is designed to gather strategic information, based upon a competitor’s customer base. Also included within this document is an assessment of ethics as it pertains to customers whom are individuals as well as businesses.
[Content]
When using an information system to gather information about a competitor’s customers, it is important to know ethical issues that could be questioned. Many company’s believe it is important to gather information about competitors in order for them to provide a quality product at a competitive price, however there are some activities that should be avoided in order to prevent unethical activities from taking place. Some acceptable types of information being gathered and methods for gathering the information include; asking customer’s about equipment and pricing of competitors, asking employees of other businesses about the company’s practices, searching for information through public resources, reading books or publications about other companies, asking other people about practices that might be useful to the company. Any company has a right to information about competitors as long as they obtain the information through the means that is accessible to the public (onlineethics.org, 2006). Information, which is obtained through covert surveillance, is considered unacceptable as well as any information, which is gained through the influence of personnel holding any confidential information. Any information, which is gained through deception, is illegal and not an acceptable way to gain information about a competitor.
When gaining strategic information about a competitor there are acceptable customers and unacceptable customers from which information can be gained. It is completely acceptable and ethical to gain information from customers of a competitive business as long as the customers are individuals or if the customer is another business then they are not one of the competitors. If information is being gathered from a competitor from a customer who is a business and is in the same type of business, then this is not only unacceptable, but also unethical as well. It is unacceptable to gain information either by the way of first hand or third party about information that is proprietary about a particular business. Any proprietary information, which belongs to a competitor, should never be used to benefit a company. If a company chooses to use proprietary information that belongs to another company it is apparent they do not abide by the code of professional conduct of the Society of Competitive Intelligence Professionals. Using competitive intelligence practices to gain information about competitors is legal and ethical as long as companies use public means of obtaining information.
In the world of competitive intelligence (CI) there are ethical issues that arise from the lack of guidance, however when ethical means are used, using an information system to track information about competitors should be completely accepted. Many companies take business ethics very seriously, however some competitive intelligence practitioners feel that many difficult ethical decisions are currently being left up to them to make the judgment call on and this is due to the current ethical guidance being too vague to be very helpful with making ethical decisions (Sexton, 2007). When accepted methods are used and an information system is maintained to track this information about competitors, there is nothing ethically wrong about that.
In conclusion, there are many ethical issues in which people are faced with on a day to day basis in the business world, however using illegal or deceptive means to gather information about competitors is not only unethical, but should be unacceptable. Using deceptive means to gather information about competitors, dumpster diving, conducting covert surveillance, and even stealing documents are a few examples of unethical means of gathering information. The methods from which competitive intelligence is obtained should be scrutinized and should adhere to a strict code of ethics, however using acceptable means to obtain information and then tracking that information within an information system is completely acceptable and currently utilized.
References
1. (2006, February 16th). Benchmarking and Reverse Engineering (Advice from The Ethics Office at Texas Instruments Corporation) – Online Ethics Home. Retrieved August 23, 2008, from Benchmarking and Reverse Engineering (Advice from The Ethics Office at Texas Instruments Corporation) – Online Ethics Home Web site: http://www.onlineethics.org/CMS/workplace/workcases/ti-ethics/benchmarking.aspx
2. Sexton, Tiina-Liisa (2007, October). http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa5393/is_200710/ai_n21298481. Retrieved August 23, 2008, from Questionable intelligence gathering | Intheblack | Find Articles at BNET Web site: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa5393/is_200710/ai_n21298481
Problem Solving Strategies and Management Decision-making
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to identify and implement problem solving strategies and management decision-making. Also included within this document is the answer to the questions, “What impact would decision-making styles have on the design of information systems that support decision making in international businesses?”
[Content]
There are a few different decision making styles that can aid with the decision making process. The democratic decision making style is where a leader relinquishes control of a decision in order to let members of a group vote. The consensus decision-making style is where the leader gives up total control and lets the group, as a whole, deal with the decision. The collective decision making style is where the leader involves the members of an organization in order to gain a different perspective in order to assist the leader with making the decision. The autocratic decision making style is where the leader maintains total control and ownership of the decision. Different types of leaders may use different types of styles in order to assist them with the decision making process (Leadership Management Development Center, Inc., 1997).
International businesses use information systems differently from more local or regional businesses. Local or regionalized businesses may use information systems to manage such things as people, documents, technologies, and procedures in order to assist with the management of operational activities in an organization. Localized information systems also help with management accountants to solve business problems like the costing of a service or product or even a business-wide strategy. International businesses can use information systems to aid with such things as international research or discovery. International businesses will also use information systems to achieve a competitive advantage by utilizing intelligence gained from the international market to make superb business decisions (goliath.ecnext.com, 2002). Local or regional businesses use information systems differently than international businesses.
Many governments play a major role in how businesses run or operate. Governments have a major impact on businesses by how companies are taxed, by which subsidies are allowed, interest rates, exchange rates, and ever by which partnerships are allowed. Governments also play a major role in how business function or operate by the laws or policies that are created or put in place. Governments have their hands in how business are ran everywhere from needing a business license in order to operate as a business all the way down to ensuring companies meet environmental, cultural, health and safety standards. It is always within a government’s best interest to encourage business. By allowing businesses, this is how many governments are able to fund many programs within the government. Governments influence many business in many different ways from ensuring companies are complying with government policies or laws and in return company’s pay many forms of taxes which the government uses to fund many government programs.
Their government of where the business resides influences international businesses, the government influence may affect how the company’s decision-making process by the type of decision making style that is used and therefore can affect how an information system is designed. A business in China may choose to use more of an autocratic approach to how decisions are made, whereas a company in the United States may choose to use more of a democratic decision making approach. When designing an information system when an autocratic decision making style is being used, there may be more controls or restrictions placed upon users of the information system, ensuring they do not have a free reign of access to information. When a democratic decision making style is being used, users such as managers may have a lot more access to information within that information system in order to ensure they are making the proper decisions.
References
1. (1997). Decision Making Style and its Effect On Morale. Retrieved August 22, 2008, from Decision Making Style and its Effect On Morale Web site: http://www.leadershipmanagement.com/html-files/decision.htm
2. International business and global information management research: toward a cumulative tradition.. Retrieved August 22, 2008, from International business and global information management research: toward a cumulative tradition. Web site: http://www.manta.com/
Unexpected Visitor
A fawn followed this beagle home, right through the doggie door, in the Bittinger, MD area. The owner came home to find the visitor had made himself right at home.
Pastor Fluff
The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor in a small town in Ireland. One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer.
The Reverend wasn’t happy! He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman. ‘Miss Fitzgerald,’ he said sternly. ‘This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?’
‘Sure,’ she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The Reverend realized that she’d had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.
After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. The pub landlord looked over and said, ‘Oy mate, we won’t have any of that carrying on in this pub.
The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, ‘But you don’t understand, I’m Pastor Fluff.’
The landlord nodded and said, ‘Ah well, if you’re that far in, ye might as well finish.’
Cats and Dogs
How To Give A Cat A Pill
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
Untrained Personnel Developing Information System
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to provide a basic knowledge of what types of problems an untrained user may face with trying to develop an information system. Also included within this document is information about different case tools and how these case tools can aid in reducing cycle time and increase quality.
[Content]
Whenever untrained personnel attempt to build an information system, there are always going to be issues, problems, or hiccups that may need to be resolved. The key to any project is planning, without planning anybody, trained or untrained, is setting him or her up for failure. When untrained personnel attempt to build an information system they typically are taking something from how they know how it works in theory, planning how they want the product to act for them, and then attempting to make it operational. A major problem faced by many with developing new information systems are called “software crisis,” this is when developers are backlogged or having a limited supply of developers or funding (jyu.fi). When an untrained person attempts to take on a task that they do not know about, they can quickly get in over their head, which leads to project overruns and wastes precious resources.
CASE (Computer Aided Software Engineering) tools can be used throughout the lifecycle of a software development lifecycle. When trying to develop an information system there may be a need for different types of CASE tools to accommodate the different aspect of the project. CASE tools can be used for instances of the development lifecycle such as: code generating tools, data modeling tools, unified modeling language (UML) tools, refactoring tools, model transformation tools, and even configuration management tools. CASE tools can speed up the process of developing an information system by helping to create, not only documentation, but also code for the project. By using CASE tools throughout the lifecycle of a project, the project is more consistently completed and therefore a better quality product is produced.
Visual Paradigm is a UML modeling tool, which has many key features that can aid with developing an information system. Some of the specific key features of Visual Paradigm (2008, visual-paradigm.com) are: Automatic software updates, Class diagrams supported, Use Case diagrams supported, State diagrams supported, Sequence diagrams supported, Activity diagrams supported, Component diagrams supported, Deployment diagrams supported, Package diagrams supported, Object diagrams supported, Composite structure diagrams supported, Timing diagrams supported, and interaction overview diagrams supported. When a product is as diverse and aids in the development of so many portions to a product the efficiency and quality both increase as well.
There is a whole slue of types of code generator tools available for use of developers. It has been argued that the code generation tools have made programmers much more productive in completing a project. The code generation tools work by using a generic classes, templates, or aspects in order to create source code. Programmers are then able to focus their time on quality checking the product they are creating instead of writing source code for everything.
In conclusion, there is without a question of a doubt that CASE tools in fact do both ensure high quality standards of a product and reduce lifecycle time to create a product. CASE tools are very useful tools to aid with almost every aspect of the lifecycle of a product and these tools definitely speed up the process. CASE tools also ensure high quality products are produced by efficiently standardizing the process of the product lifecycle. The major problem to CASE tools and software crisis are untrained personnel. The bottom line is that you can have the best toolbox in the world, but if you do not know how to use the tools, you are not going to get very far with whatever it is you are trying to fix or build.
References
1. Robredo, Jamie (1989). Some Problems Involved in the Installation of Advanced Information Systems in Developing Countries.. Some Problems Involved in the Installation of Advanced Information Systems in Developing Countries., ED329238, Retrieved August 21, 2008, from http://eric.ed.gov/ (Robredo, 1989)
2. Problems in information system development. Retrieved August 21, 2008, from Problems in information system development Web site: http://users.jyu.fi/~jpt/doc/thesis/ime-1_1.html (jyu.fi)
3. UML CASE Tools – Free for Learning UML, Cost-Effective for Business Solutions. Retrieved 2008, from UML CASE Tools – Free for Learning UML, Cost-Effective for Business Solutions Web site: http://www.visual-paradigm.com/product/vpuml/
Business Ethics With Employees
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is intended to provide an answer to what ethical may arise based upon an employee devising a way to make their job better, if any at all. Also included within this document is a basic understanding of why it is important to share knowledge and information at the workplace.
[Content]
When working in any type of position it is always a good idea to share information. By sharing information you are making yourself more marketable because you are the person that people will come to for information or on the job type of training. Without sharing information about the type of job you do, you are essentially digging yourself a hole where it may be difficult to get out of. This happens by performing a job that nobody else can do or what nobody else knows about, this means you cannot be replaced, however this means that if you go on vacation and there is a problem with the job, you are going to be the 1st person they call about it too. Also by working a position that nobody else knows or nobody else knows how to do, you are making it difficult for you to be promoted as well. It is always a good idea to share information in order to ensure more people know about your job and share the knowledge so that in the event you want to further your career, the company can easily find a replacement to fulfill the duties that you performed in that position (Lloyd, 2007).
Ethical issues can arise when an employee creates a product, idea, plan, process, or something that makes their job better or easier while they are on company time. Many companies have similar policies, which they make employee’s sign prior to employment. Herbalife’s policy states the following: “If you are an employee, you signed an agreement when you joined the Company, under which you assumed specific obligations relating to intellectual property as well as the treatment of confidential and proprietary information. Among other things in the agreement, you assigned to the Company all of your right, title, and interest in intellectual property you develop when you are employed in certain capacities, such as a managerial, technical, product planning, programming, scientific or other professional capacity (herbalife.com).” For many companies, which make employees sign agreements like this one from Herbalife, it is common that a company can promote this idea, process, or whatever it may be that the employee created and the company can turn a profit and the employee may never see any addition profit.
In conclusion, many companies require you to protect their physical, proprietary, and intellectual assets. If you devise a way to make your job easier while you are at work, technically the company views this as they own it, however if you think of this on your off-duty time then technically you own it. This is an ethical gray area that most employees are unwilling to fight because they do not want to lose their pension and benefits. Even though it is always a good idea to share information both to your company and to other employees, always make sure credit goes to where credit is due and if there is any compensation for the credit, always ensure you get what you are entitled to.
References
1. Lloyd, Joan (2007, July 13th). Helping train replacement logical move – The Business Journal of Milwaukee:. Retrieved August 19, 2008, from Helping train replacement logical move – The Business Journal of Milwaukee: Web site:
2. Herbalife – Corporate Code of Business Conduct and Ethics. Retrieved August 19, 2008, from Herbalife – Corporate Code of Business Conduct and Ethics Web site: [URL Removed Broken link]
Online Auction Ethics
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is intended to provide an answer to what moral or ethical constraints should be placed upon users of online auctions, if any at all.
[Content]
When the question arises of what types of constraints should be put in place to prevent users of online auctions from putting immoral, unethical, or otherwise offensive items for bid on an online auction, some people may argue that the constraints goes against their 1st amendment rights of freedom of speech (Shouhong Wang and Diana Kao, 2005). Others may argue that when a person creates an account and accepts the agreement, they are knowingly subjecting themselves to anything that they may find offensive, immoral, or unethical. There is without a question of a doubt a need for some sort of constraints put in place, but where is the limit? Who needs to monitor and police the constraints? Who needs to regulate should be sold and what is not to be allowed?
Online auction sites, like Amazon or eBay, have disclaimers, which protects them from current laws. Even though online auction sites have disclaimers to protect them from current laws, the laws are being challenged. The online auction sites reserve the right to modify this disclaimer as the laws change and thus allowing the online sites to protect themselves. Auction sites also reserve the right to disallow anybody whom they feel is not abiding by their rules from using the online auction (Barker).
In conclusion, when the question is asked about who should be monitoring immoral material being placed on online auctions; I think it is the sole responsibility of each and every individual user to decide what should be allowed. If a user finds something so offensive, then it should be up to that person to report it to the online auction for further review, after all, what is immoral to one person might not be the same for another. It should be up to the online auction owners to follow the law and their policies should reflect the law. If a user is not following their policies, the online auction owners should ban the users from using the auction.
References
1. Shouhong Wang, and Diana Kao (2005). A Model for Monitoring and Enforcing Online Auction Ethics. A Model for Monitoring and Enforcing Online Auction Ethics, Retrieved August 14, 2008, from
2. Barker, Alex W. Ethics, E-Commerce, and the Future of the Past. Retrieved August 14, 2008, from Ethics, E-Commerce, and the Future of the Past Web site: [URL Removed Broken link]
Sears Cajun Catalog
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Boudreaux says to Thibodeaux, ‘Did you see de purty girls in dis catalog?’
Thibodeaux replies, ‘Yes, dey are vary beautiful. And look at de price!’ Boudreaux says, with wide eyes, ‘Wow, dey don’t cost much. At dis price, I’m gonna to buy one.’
Thibodeaux smiles and pats him on the back. ‘Good idee! Order one an if she’s as purty as she is in de catalog, I’m gonna get one too.’
Three weeks later, Thibodeaux asks Boudreaux, ‘Did you ever get de girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?’
Boudreaux replies, ‘No, but it shoudn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!’