Prevent Terrorists From Using Currency
Due to the global war on terrorism, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen. Consequently, they have resorted to counterfeiting. The Canadians have considered to redesign their currency to prevent the radical Muslims from even touching it. It is also hoped that this will have a positive effect on tourism.
Muslim terrorists have to kill themselves if they see a naked woman, it’s a win/win for everybody.
The Dawn Keye Diet
A nurse, who has done a lot of research about dieting, has given information about the various popular diets including Atkins, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and the South Beach Diet. One diet about which you haven’t heard about previously, but which I insist works for almost everyone:
Mount Fuji Japan
Drove over to Mount Fuji today. Here are some of the photos that were snapped along the way and different views from the volcano.
Sights Around Mount Fuji
Drove over to Mount Fuji and there were low level clouds, but there was a break in the clouds enough for me to get some photos and some different views around Mount Fuji.
Differences Based Upon the View
Mount Rushmore from the Canadian Side.
Father’s Day
This one really touched my heart. Remember Father’s Day is Sunday June 21st.
“Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in my Daddy’s computer.” “Amen.”
Buddhist Temple in Asakusa, Tokyo
Took the subway train to visit the buddhist temple in Asakusa district of Tokyo.
Grilling Tip
As every Southerner knows, come spring it is time to get ready for that all-important cooking technique of the south — outdoor grilling!
I have just found out there are several stores (not just in the South) where you can get a FREE Bar-B-Q grill! You can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores:
A&P
Albertsons
Brookshire’s
Food Lion
Home Depot
Ingles
Big Lots
Lowes
Piggly Wiggly
Publix
Safeway
Sam’s Club
Target
Trader Joe’s
Wal-Mart
Winn-Dixie
Food Depot
K-Mart
B J’s
Walgreen’s
Rite Aid
Food World
Bruno’s
CVS
Kroger
I especially like the higher rack — which can be used for keeping things warm! Just make sure to get a metal one… the plastic ones don’t do so well. Y’all enjoy now!
Management Challenges
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to describe what types of management challenges can be incurred based upon a scenario of Kucera Clothier‚ introducing a collaboration system into their organization. Also included within this document are methods that can be used to manage change with expectations of other personnel. This document is intended for anybody looking to gain a basic understanding or knowledge of managing challenges within an organization and providing solutions for problems.
[Content]
Kucera Clothiers is implementing a collaboration system into their organization in order to improve communications, increase efficiency, and to improve customer relations, however they will most likely incur management challenges throughout the implementation of the new system. When managing people, products, or even projects there is a great probability that problems will occur and in order to effectively manage the challenge is important to address any issues immediately and move forward with the desired objective. Some of the challenges that can arise can come from people such as personality differences, power struggles, training issues, or even the lack of manpower. Other business challenges that can arise from a global company like Kucera Cothiers are religious, cultural, time related, and even legal issues. It is important for Kucera Clothiers to address any issues that may arise quickly and then refocus on the collaboration system project.
To better understand how Kucera Cothiers can deal with different challenges it is important to look at different management challenges that could arise and then consider possible solutions. First and foremost the most valuable asset to any organization are the employees of that organization. People management is instrumental to ensuring Kucera Clothier’s success (Frenzel, Frenzel, 2004 P.524). When managing people it is important for a manager to maintain a positive attitude and deal with any issues on a case-by-case basis. For a manager of people it is necessary to provide employees the tools that are needed to do their job and empower their employees to be creative to complete a task, however it is important for the manager to follow up on a task to ensure it has been completed according to requirements. A manager is also able to gain support and respect of their employees by being proficient in their job and by being proficient as a manager. This is important because an employee’s willingness to do a better job can come from feeling like they belong to a successful team. A manager can create and maintain a high level of morale by fostering a positive and competitive environment for which employee’s want to be a part of. One example of how a manager can foster a positive work environment is by sticking to the rule of thumb of “praising in public, punishing in private.” By following this rule of thumb a manager does not make an employee feel embarrassed or humiliated for making a mistake. In order to be an effective manager of people there are expectations that are required from others in order to effectively manage people. One of the expectations of employees is to provide feedback and effective communication in order to keep the manager aware of any challenges so that the manager can effectively manage the issues. Another expectation is to be respectful of others to aid in creating a positive work environment. Lastly another expectation of an employee is for the employee to do the best job they are able to with the resources that they have available.
Change management is another management that may be required by Kucera managers in order to deal with different challenges of implementing the collaboration system that could affect the delivery of the collaboration system service. Change management is a technique that is used to handle changes of the system such as hardware changes, software changes, environmental changes, management changes, or any other type of change to the system that can affect directly on the system or the service of the system that is being provided. In order to effectively manage changes there are five different elements that can help a manager effectively manage the change. A change request can be submitted that identifies what change is necessary to the system. After the change request has been submitted the manager can conduct a change analysis and then prioritize the change request based upon a risk assessment (Frenzel, Frenzel, 2004 P.390). The manager can then plan for the change, which may require some additional research. Then the manager can get authorization to implement the change. By following this process managers can effectively manage changes and minimize risks that could adversely affect the system. An expectation of employees is that they follow the change request procedure so that the manager can manage the change accordingly.
In conclusion, there are numerous possible challenges that could arise for Kucera Clothiers, while they are implementing the collaboration system, however by addressing the challenges effectively allows for Kucera to maintain focus on the implementation of the collaboration system, which can lead to the success of the system. When managing people it is important for a manager to create and maintain a positive environment for employees, while empowering them and challenging them to complete their tasks quickly and completely. Managers can also effectively manage any change to the system by following a process, which gives the manager necessary information to complete the process. No matter whether people, processes, or even change is being managed there are expectations of others that aid the managers in having the ability to properly managing the challenges.
References
Frenzel, Frenzel, C. W., J. C. (2004). Management of Information Technology Fourth Edition. Boston, Massachusetts: Thomas Learning Inc..
An Actual Craig’s List Personal AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacke t that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … Isn’t it?!
I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb …. After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what ‘s going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc..).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … But I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
Problems Incurred When Implementing New Technology
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to describe what types of problems are most likely to be incurred while implementing a technology into an organization, such as the collaboration system into the organization for Kucera Clothiers scenario. Also included within this document are recommendations for how the problems can be resolved. This document is intended for anybody looking to gain a basic understanding or knowledge of managing challenges within an organization and providing solutions for problems.
[Content]
Kucera Clothiers is implementing a collaboration system into their organization in order to improve communications, increase efficiency, and to improve customer relations, however they will most likely incur problems throughout the implementation of the new system. When managing people, products, or even projects there is a great probability that problems will occur and in order to effectively manage it is important to address any issues and press forward with the objective at hand. Some of the issues that can arise can come from people such as personality differences, power struggles, training issues, or even the lack of manpower. Other issues that can arise from a global company like Kucera Cothiers are religious, cultural, time related, and even legal issues. It is important for Kucera Clothiers to address any issues that may arise quickly and then refocus on the collaboration system project.
To better understand how Kucera Cothiers can deal with different issues it is important to look at the different issues that could arise and then consider possible solutions. Since Kucera Clothiers has chosen to implement a new collaboration system one of the possible issues that could arise from this system is training for all employees from around the world. In order to Kucera corporate headquarters to ensure all of its employees have been trained and understand how to use the system, it would cost too much in time and money to send all employees to training or seminars that may be generic or not specific to the company’s mission or goals anyway. One possible solution is to provide a web-based training either by using websites, downloadable videos, or even through the use of the collaboration system. This solution would be cost effective and most efficient for training all 100,000 employees from around the world (Frenzel, Frenzel, 2004 P.338). Another issue that could arise from the centralized location of the collaboration system is that different regions around the world may want to manage their own data. Kucera corporate headquarters identifying specific responsibilities in organizational policies can easily resolve this issue. An example of a legal issue that could arise could be that an employee is gathering company data and selling it to competitors because the employee thinks that they are in a foreign land that the United States laws do not apply to them. This issue may need to be prevented, but also addressed on a couple different levels. The first would be that the corporate headquarters, where the collaboration system is location, should be tracking all employees to ensure they are following corporate policies and then for employees, like this one, should be held accountable by being terminated or prosecuted according to corporate policies (Frenzel, Frenzel, 2004 P.341). A management issue that could arise could be that the project is falling behind and not being implemented as planned, which leads to delays, loss of revenue, and loss of customer satisfaction. In order to resolve an issue like this, the manager of the project may have to reconsider the milestones that have been previously identified, talk with the technicians to identify issues that are causing the delays, conduct a meeting with the installation team to get everybody organized and refocused, and potentially set more realistic milestones based upon the issues that have been identified.
In conclusion, there are numerous possible issues that could arise for Kucera Clothiers, while they are implementing the collaboration system, however by addressing the issues swiftly and concisely allows for Kucera to maintain focus on the task at hand so that it can be completed in a timely manner. When addressing any of the issue that arise, it is important to ensure that the issues to not build up and lead to larger issues which in turn can lead to the loss of time, resources, and revenue. It is important that all issues are dealt with on a case-by-case basis and given an equal amount of consideration in order to ensure the issue is resolved quickly and fairly. Dealing with issues quick and concise ensures that they are resolved at the lowest possible level of the organization and that control over the issues is maintained at all times.
References
Frenzel, Frenzel, Carroll W., John C. (2004). Management of Information Technology Fourth Edition. Boston, Massachusetts: Thomas Learning Inc..
Collaboration System
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to provide an implementation and management plan, as part of a scenario, for implementing a collaboration system into Kucera Clothiers. Included within this document is a definition of the organizational goals or communication issues the collaboration system will resolve. Also included within this document is an explanation of some of the key players who will be part of the implementation or management of the system, as well as, an explanation of what type of input should be gathered from these key personnel. An explanation of developing a technology or purchasing the technology is best suited to benefit the company. A recommendation for which type of training should be provided and how it will be provided to either key Kucera employees or all employees. A plan explaining how the implementation of the collaboration system into the organization can be executed, as well as, a plan for system maintenance included any software upgrades or security patches that need to be applied to the system. Finally a plan describing how and when periodic audits will be conducted on the system.
[Content]
Kucera Clothiers is a large business with 100,000 employees spread out over 3,500 locations around the world with their corporate headquarters in Chicago, Illinois who is looking to invest in a collaboration system to align with their business strategy and resolve some communication issues they are incurring. The collaboration system that Kucera is looking at investing in provides the ability to communicate either by using a web-based or network-based interface. The collaboration system provides the ability to improve communications between the corporate headquarters and the satellite offices throughout the world and it also provides travelling employees the ability to communicate by using either synchronous or asynchronous communication methods. The benefits of the collaboration system falls directly in line with Kucera’s corporate strategy as they wish to improve communications between their corporate and satellite offices, as well as, reducing the time it takes for inventories to get to the distribution centers so that the products can get from the distribution centers to the customers in a shorter amount of time while travelling employees can still have access to customer and company information.
When introducing a new system into an organization, such as the collaboration system into Kucera Clothier’s, there are key players who help to make the system successful for implementing and managing the system. Due to the collaboration system being installed into the corporate headquarters communications room the IT staff is responsible for installing all of the equipment, testing it, and maintaining it once the system is up and running. This makes the IT staff key players for the implementation of the project. Once the system is installed the corporate headquarters staff will most be likely to be the initial users of the system to ensure user to smooth rollout and implementation of the system. Key players who work in the corporate headquarters are the managers of the different departments such as accounting, shipping, billing, personnel, and support. It is important to have the managers ensure the collaboration system is being populated with current business data so that when the system is being used by all locations then all employees will have access to current and correct information. Additional key players are the managers or even site leads for the different satellite locations. The satellite location managers are key players because they need to be initially trained on the system so that they can ensure all employees at their location know how to use the system according to company protocol and policies. The key players are the staff that is directly or indirectly responsible for ensuring the system is installed, operating, being maintained, and then being used according to company policy. The key players are instrumental in ensuring the collaboration system is successful within the organization by providing valuable input to ensure the system meets each of their specific requirements or needs based upon their specific areas of expertise. Input that can be gathered from the IT staff is the technical information pertaining to the system such as network connectivity and configuration information, IT security information, network policy information, data migration information, and even user account management information. The input that can be gathered from each of the department managers is the specific information that pertains to the respective department. For example accounting may need to ensure that only accounting personnel have access to accounting specific data whereas personnel data may need to be accessed by each manager, but also by accounting, corporate, and the IT staff. Input that may be gathered from each satellite location manager may pertain to site-specific information such as which network connectivity method best suites the needs of their specific site.
When Kucera Clothier’s is trying to make an initial determination whether to purchase and existing technology or develop their own there are some different factors that they need to predetermine. One question that can be asked is, “when is the system needed?” If the system is needed on a short timetable then there may not be an option to develop the technology if a similar technology like already exists (Frenzel, Frenzel, 2004 P.305). Another factor that may come into play is the size of the IT team and what level of experience they have developing the needed technology. Since Kucera is a clothing company they may not have the IT staff to develop IT products, their IT staff may only be experienced in maintaining and administering systems. Another consideration may be that if the company is looking to get into other markets by selling the technology they are considering developing. There are numerous collaboration systems on the current market so Kucera Clothier’s may want to consider purchasing one of the existing technologies to benefit their needs and that their own IT staff can support. There are different considerations to take into account when making a determination whether to develop a technology or purchase an existing technology and since Kucera is in the retail business it may best suite their business model to purchase an existing technology and allow their own IT staff to support it.
With the implementation of the new system Kucera Clothier’s needs to plan the who, what, why, when, where, and how of training for its personnel so that they will be familiar and comfortable with the new system. Initially after the system has been installed, tested, and all relevant data has been migrated over to the system it would be beneficial to the organization for all of the department leads to learn the system first. That way if any subordinate personnel, offices, or organizations have questions about the system they can contact their department head to try to initially resolve any issues they have. If the division lead has identified a system training or support person or persons for their division, it may be more beneficial to have them attend the initial training that can be conducted onsite at the corporate office in Chicago. Each division lead should determine which is a better method, either the division head or division support team, for their division respectively. The training rollout for the collaboration system should initially begin with the corporate headquarters, since that is where the division heads and or the division support personnel are located. Upon training of the Kucera headquarters, the department heads should set a schedule a time for the training of each satellite lead personnel to be able to utilize the collaboration system in order to receive training. The schedules of this remote training method should be scheduled to best suite the business hours of the satellite offices in a particular region. All training should be conducted during normal business hours and the initial remote training method may take a bit longer than on site training due to remotely training personnel. Once the satellite office leads feel comfortable with the system they can schedule training times for their employees at their respective satellite office. The method of starting from the top of the organization and working to the bottom, until all personnel have been trained should satisfy any system training requirements for the entire organization. Also, due to the nature of the online collaboration system, refresher videos may be posted on the system so any employees who feel they need either a annual training or just a refresher training, can be accessed at their leisure.
The collaboration system can start to be implemented as soon as all of the equipment has arrived at the corporate headquarters and has been inventoried and tested for any hardware failure issues that may have been caused during shipping. Due to the collaboration system not replacing another system, it can be implemented immediately without being intrusive to the organization. The implementation should be broken down into a three-part implementation process. The initial phase of the process will be receiving the equipment, testing the equipment, installing the equipment, and then testing the physical hardware of the system again. The second phase of the implementation plan should be where the configuration of the system takes place. This includes configuring the system to support all network services that the system will support. The last part of the second, or configuration, phase should be to apply any security to the system that is necessary. The last part of the second phase is to test the system to ensure that everything is functioning properly and locked down according to any security policies. The final phase of the implementation of the system should be to start creating user accounts for the initial personnel who will be responsible for training and being trained on the system. The second part of the third phase is complete the rest of the user accounts based on the hierarchical structure of the organization, starting from the top and working down until all user accounts have been completed. The last step of the third phase is to provide any user support for users who are having issues with the system and completing documentation. Completing the implementation of the system in a three-part process can assist with setting milestones for the project so that the implementation of the system can be a success.
Once the collaboration system has been completely implemented and personnel have been trained, system hardware and software maintenance schedules will need to be completed. Due to Kucera Clothiers being a global organization, it is virtually impossible to complete maintenance during a time when nobody is using the system, however system maintenance can be completed during non-peak hours of use. The most ideal time for system maintenance should be during a Saturday morning between the hours of 8 AM and 2 PM. This means that for 12 hours ahead of Chicago time zone is either late Saturday night or early Sunday morning and 12 hours behind Chicago time zone is late Friday night and therefore Saturday morning until mid day should be the most ideal time to conduct system maintenance. Prior to any system maintenance, either hardware or software, system audits should be completed so that the exact state of the system prior to any maintenance, can be identified so that in the event of a software maintenance causing a problem on the system the system can be restored to its previous condition (Frenzel, Frenzel, 2004 P.492). System maintenance should include once a month hardware preventative maintenance such as cleaning any dust from the internal chassis of the servers. Weekly checks of security or software patches should be conducted and applied to the system as necessary. Finally weekly complete backups of the system should be conducted and then the backups should be stored off-site so that in the event of a natural disaster the system can be recovered with no data loss.
References
Frenzel, Frenzel, C. W., J. C. (2004). Management of Information Technology Fourth Edition. Boston, Massachusetts: Thomas Learning Inc..
Obama was tricked
He did not intend to bow to the Saudi King.
IRS Audit
At the end of the tax year the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.
While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said, “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?”
“Good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way:
“What about all these matzo (bread) purchases? What do you do with the
crumbs?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to
trap him with an unanswerable question. “We collect them and send back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls.”
“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the
know-it-all Rabbi. “Well, Rabbi,” he went on, “What do you do with all the
leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”
“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the Rabbi. “What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Internal Revenue Service, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”
Project “Phasing In”
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to explain the term “phase in” and how it relates to phasing in a server cluster. Also included within this document is an explanation of what type of risk analysis needs to be conducted in order to phase in the cluster. This document is intended for anybody looking to gain a basic understanding or knowledge of risk analysis and how to merge a new system with an existing system and how it impacts operations.
[Content]
In order for Kucera Clothiers to integrate a server cluster into their organization, it should be a goal to decide how to integrate the new system with any current systems while minimizing any interruptions of operations. It is important for Kucera to “phase in” the new system by using a three-step plan in order to reduce any interference with company operations (Microsoft, 2008). Trying to incorporate an entire system all at one time without impacting operations can be rather cumbersome, therefore it is recommended to phase in the system in a few different steps. The initial step of the phase in plan is to physically install all of the hardware and test it to ensure everything is functioning correctly. The second step of the phase in plan is to migrate network services, one by one, onto the server cluster and test each service to ensure it is functioning correctly. The final step of the phase in plan is to migrate user data in small groups until all users have been migrated to the new system and then test to ensure there is no data lost and everything is functioning correctly. Once the new system has been completely phased in Kucera Clothiers can power down and reallocate the legacy system as necessary.
Prior to phasing in any new system into current operations it is important for Kucera Clothiers to conduct a risk analysis to determine how operations can be affected in the event something does not go as planned. When conducting a risk analysis, it is important to identify what types of risks are involved whether the risk is a human risk, operational risk, procedural risk, technical risk, natural risk, or even a political risk (Mind Tools Ltd, 2009). The risk analysis should determine how the phase in plan has the largest impact on the organization and then try to manage that risk. Due to network services affecting the majority of users at one time, it is recommended to migrate the network services one at a time in order to minimize the potential for an issue to affect the vast majority of users. Also, because network services affect the vast majority of users within the organization it is recommended to migrate the services, either during non-business hours or during hours of minimal network traffic. Once the risk analysis has been conducted and a plan has been devised in order to deal with the majority of users, then the risk analysis can be conducted in order to devise a plan how to migrate uses with minimal impact. Due to Kucera being a global company, it is recommended to migrate user data during non-business hours starting with users in the Greenwich Median Time (GMT) zone and progressing through the rest of the time zones moving groups of users and then testing the migration of user data prior to the start of the business day for those users.
In conclusion, Kucera Clothiers can minimize operational impact by first conducting a risk analysis in order to identify how the organization can be impacted and devising a plan to minimize that risk. Kucera can also “phase in” the server cluster into their organization by using a three-step plan. Step one ensures the hardware is installed, configured, and tested. Step two involves migrating network services from the old system to the server cluster and testing it. Step three involves migrating user data in increments of users during non-business hours and testing to ensure no data has been lost. By conducting a risk analysis and using a phase in plan, Kucera Clothiers can successfully implement the use of a network server cluster to support their IT goals.
References
1. (2008, November). Configuring Integration Services in a Clustered Environment. Retrieved May 17, 2009, from Configuring Integration Services in a Clustered Environment Web site: http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms345193(SQL.90).aspx
2. (2009). Risk Analysis & Risk Management. Retrieved May 17, 2009, from Project Risk Analysis Techniques – Risk Management from Mind Tools Web site: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_07.htm
Problems a Business Can Incur
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to describe what types of problems are most likely to be incurred while implementing a technology into an organization, such as the collaboration system into the organization for Kucera Clothiers scenario. Also included within this document are recommendations for how the problems can be resolved. This document is intended for anybody looking to gain a basic understanding or knowledge of managing challenges within an organization and providing solutions for problems.
[Content]
Kucera Clothiers is implementing a collaboration system into their organization in order to improve communications, increase efficiency, and to improve customer relations, however they will most likely incur problems throughout the implementation of the new system. When managing people, products, or even projects there is a great probability that problems will occur and in order to effectively manage it is important to address any issues and press forward with the objective at hand. Some of the issues that can arise can come from people such as personality differences, power struggles, training issues, or even the lack of manpower. Other issues that can arise from a global company like Kucera Cothiers are religious, cultural, time related, and even legal issues. It is important for Kucera Clothiers to address any issues that may arise quickly and then refocus on the collaboration system project.
To better understand how Kucera Cothiers can deal with different issues it is important to look at the different issues that could arise and then consider possible solutions. Since Kucera Clothiers has chosen to implement a new collaboration system one of the possible issues that could arise from this system is training for all employees from around the world. In order to Kucera corporate headquarters to ensure all of its employees have been trained and understand how to use the system, it would cost too much in time and money to send all employees to training or seminars that may be generic or not specific to the company’s mission or goals anyway. One possible solution is to provide a web-based training either by using websites, downloadable videos, or even through the use of the collaboration system. This solution would be cost effective and most efficient for training all 100,000 employees from around the world (Frenzel, Frenzel, 2004 P.338). Another issue that could arise from the centralized location of the collaboration system is that different regions around the world may want to manage their own data. Kucera corporate headquarters identifying specific responsibilities in organizational policies can easily resolve this issue. An example of a legal issue that could arise could be that an employee is gathering company data and selling it to competitors because the employee thinks that they are in a foreign land that the United States laws do not apply to them. This issue may need to be prevented, but also addressed on a couple different levels. The first would be that the corporate headquarters, where the collaboration system is location, should be tracking all employees to ensure they are following corporate policies and then for employees, like this one, should be held accountable by being terminated or prosecuted according to corporate policies (Frenzel, Frenzel, 2004 P.341). A management issue that could arise could be that the project is falling behind and not being implemented as planned, which leads to delays, loss of revenue, and loss of customer satisfaction. In order to resolve an issue like this, the manager of the project may have to reconsider the milestones that have been previously identified, talk with the technicians to identify issues that are causing the delays, conduct a meeting with the installation team to get everybody organized and refocused, and potentially set more realistic milestones based upon the issues that have been identified.
In conclusion, there are numerous possible issues that could arise for Kucera Clothiers, while they are implementing the collaboration system, however by addressing the issues swiftly and concisely allows for Kucera to maintain focus on the task at hand so that it can be completed in a timely manner. When addressing any of the issue that arise, it is important to ensure that the issues to not build up and lead to larger issues which in turn can lead to the loss of time, resources, and revenue. It is important that all issues are dealt with on a case-by-case basis and given an equal amount of consideration in order to ensure the issue is resolved quickly and fairly. Dealing with issues quick and concise ensures that they are resolved at the lowest possible level of the organization and that control over the issues is maintained at all times.
References
Frenzel, Frenzel, Carroll W., John C. (2004). Management of Information Technology Fourth Edition. Boston, Massachusetts: Thomas Learning Inc..
Scenario Proposal of a Server Cluster
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to provide a proposal for a server cluster that will be introduced to Kucera Clothiers. This proposal is based upon a scenario of Kucera Clothiers is looking to improve communications between their corporate headquarters that is located in Chicago and its 3,500 other locations throughout the world. Kucera employs over 100,000 employees at their different locations throughout the world. Included within the proposal that will be proposed to Kucera Clothiers are some system requirements, costs, anticipated return on investment, security issues, and information management. This document is intended for anybody looking to gain a basic knowledge or understanding of how a project proposal can be introduced to a company.
[Content]
Kucera Clothiers should maximize use of current resources in order to provide a network service that can accommodate any and all IT services today, but also well into the future. Kucera can maximize their return on investment of the existing network infrastructure and yet still provide scalable solutions for years to come. The use of a network server cluster can allow Kucera Clothiers to provide network services to all employees throughout the world with a 99.99% uptime guarantee. Providing services with a 99.99% reliability will greatly improve customer service, sales/customer relations, and efficiency throughout the company. The ability for employees to access data from anywhere at any time throughout the world is vital in today’s globalized markets.
A networked server cluster allows multiple servers to share valuable resources in order to handle any request, at anytime, from anyone. A server cluster functions by having multiple network interface cards (NICs) installed in multiple servers. One NIC allows users to access services and resources from the public network, however the 2nd NIC allows the different servers to communicate with each other and share valuable resources on a private network without interfering with any requests coming from the public network. Clustered servers can provide services such as: e-mail, web, file sharing, collaboration, database, and other specialized services. In the event that an additional service is needed, the service simply needs to be enabled on the cluster to allow the organization to grow with future needs or requirements. Server clusters provide much value to an organization by providing a high availability so that users in different time zones can access the servers as needed, thus allowing the company to maximize productivity. Due to the use of multiple servers, if one server or device should fail, the others can share the load until the device can be repaired or replaced (RedHat Inc., 2009). The design of a server cluster allows for the computing power to be located in one centralized location, in contrast to incurring high costs to locate the high performance computing out to each of the 3,500 locations worldwide. A server cluster can provide much value to an organization by providing all services from one centralized location with high performance servers that can easily handle the processing workload of all the company’s employees from around the world while maintaining a 99.99% uptime guarantee to allow the users to be more productive.
Prior to installing a server cluster there are some requirements that need to be met so that the cluster can easily mesh with the organizations requirements. There needs to be enough server rack space to accommodate the cluster. There also needs to be enough power provided to the server racks to meet all the power needs of the system. The location where the cluster is going to be housed needs to be an environmentally controlled climate. The facility that the cluster will be located needs to have diversified network paths so that in the even one should go down; other paths are able to handle the network traffic. The facility where the cluster is going to be located also needs a managed network switch with enough available ports to handle the configuration of multiple virtual LANs (VLANs) in order to support the cluster. The location where the servers will reside needs to be a physically secure location. When supporting any system it is important to ensure all of the system requirements can be met before obtaining the system.
The cost estimate of the system includes all necessary peripherals to include hardware, software, licensing, and support. The total cost of the system is $22,235. This cost is for the purchase of 5 Dell PowerEdge 1950 III servers with Redhat Linux installed on the systems and a 3-year basic on-site support. The exact system options are listed below (Dell, 2009):
PowerEdge 1950 III Quad Core Intel® Xeon® E5405, 2x6MB Cache, 2.0GHz, 1333MHz FSB
Additional Processors Single Processor only
Memory 32GB 667MHz (8x4GB), Dual Ranked DIMMs
Operating System Red Hat Enterprise Linux 5.2, 2S, FI x64, 1yr, Auto-Entitle, Lic & Media
Multipack Operating System None
Operating System Addition None
OS Partitions None
Chassis Configuration Rack Chassis with Static RapidRails
Backplane 1×2 Backplane for 3.5-inch Hard Drives and SATA Optical
Primary Controller SAS 6/iR Integrated Controller
2nd Controller and HBAs None
Hard Drive Configuration Integrated SAS/SATA No RAID, SAS 6/iR Integrated
Primary Hard Drive 1TB 7.2K RPM Universal SATA 3Gbps 3.5-in HotPlug Hard Drive
2nd Hard Drive Discounted Upgrade! 1TB 7.2K RPM Universal SATA 3Gbps 3.5-in HotPlug Hard D
3rd Hard Drive None
4th Hard Drive None
PCI Riser Riser with 2 PCIe Slots
Power Supply Energy Smart Redundant Power Supply with Y-Cord
Power Cords Power Cord, NEMA 5-15P to C14, 15 amp, wall plug, 10 feet / 3 meter
Utilizing current network infrastructure, facility environment, and networking devices, the total cost of ownership for the server cluster can be identified by the total cost of all necessary hardware and support.
The return on investment for the system can be immediately identified by the design of the system. Even though the initial cost of the system may seem high to managers who are unaware of IT costs, the total cost of the system is miniscule compared to the cost if the processing power was decentralized and located at each individual location. An additional return on investment can be clearly seen because the centralized location of the servers ensures the servers are physically secured and the servers are centrally managed to ensure the data on the servers is secured. Also due to the servers being centrally located the need for IT support personnel at each of the locations is non-existent. All IT support will be provided in one centralized location, which saves the company money from paying for support at multiple locations and varying fees. The scalability of the system provides much added value to grow as the company grows. The server cluster provides an immediate return on investment by cutting IT support costs, improving overall system and data security, and being scalable to grow as the company demands.
In conclusion, a centralized server cluster can provide much value to Kucera Clothiers by allowing all employees to have access to valuable data at anytime from anywhere. The cluster provides necessary IT services today, but it is also scalable to meet the IT needs of the future too. The server cluster will provide an immediate return on investment by cutting IT costs at multiple locations by housing the high performance servers in one centralized location. Due to the centralized design of the system, all security concerns of the systems and their data will be easily addressed. By using current resources that are available, the total cost of the system includes nothing more than the hardware and support costs. Kucera Clothiers wishes to improve communications throughout the organization and this server cluster provides the means to do so.
References
1. redhat.com | Red Hat Cluster Suite. Retrieved May 16, 2009, from redhat.com | The World’s Open Source Leader Web site: http://www.redhat.com/cluster_suite/
2. The Dell Online Store: Build Your System. Retrieved May 16, 2009, from Dell Laptops, Desktop Computers, Monitors, Printers & PC Accessories Web site: http://configure.us.dell.com/dellstore/config.aspx?c=us&cs=04&fb=1&kc=productdetails~pedge_1950_3&l=en&oc=becwxk1&s=bsd&vw=classic
“Phase In” Equipment into Business Operations
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to explain the term “phase in” and how it relates to phasing in a server cluster. Also included within this document is an explanation of what type of risk analysis needs to be conducted in order to phase in the cluster. This document is intended for anybody looking to gain a basic understanding or knowledge of risk analysis and how to merge a new system with an existing system and how it impacts operations.
[Content]
In order for Kucera Clothiers to integrate a server cluster into their organization, it should be a goal to decide how to integrate the new system with any current systems while minimizing any interruptions of operations. It is important for Kucera to “phase in” the new system by using a three-step plan in order to reduce any interference with company operations (Microsoft, 2008). Trying to incorporate an entire system all at one time without impacting operations can be rather cumbersome, therefore it is recommended to phase in the system in a few different steps. The initial step of the phase in plan is to physically install all of the hardware and test it to ensure everything is functioning correctly. The second step of the phase in plan is to migrate network services, one by one, onto the server cluster and test each service to ensure it is functioning correctly. The final step of the phase in plan is to migrate user data in small groups until all users have been migrated to the new system and then test to ensure there is no data lost and everything is functioning correctly. Once the new system has been completely phased in Kucera Clothiers can power down and reallocate the legacy system as necessary.
Prior to phasing in any new system into current operations it is important for Kucera Clothiers to conduct a risk analysis to determine how operations can be affected in the event something does not go as planned. When conducting a risk analysis, it is important to identify what types of risks are involved whether the risk is a human risk, operational risk, procedural risk, technical risk, natural risk, or even a political risk (Mind Tools Ltd, 2009). The risk analysis should determine how the phase in plan has the largest impact on the organization and then try to manage that risk. Due to network services affecting the majority of users at one time, it is recommended to migrate the network services one at a time in order to minimize the potential for an issue to affect the vast majority of users. Also, because network services affect the vast majority of users within the organization it is recommended to migrate the services, either during non-business hours or during hours of minimal network traffic. Once the risk analysis has been conducted and a plan has been devised in order to deal with the majority of users, then the risk analysis can be conducted in order to devise a plan how to migrate uses with minimal impact. Due to Kucera being a global company, it is recommended to migrate user data during non-business hours starting with users in the Greenwich Median Time (GMT) zone and progressing through the rest of the time zones moving groups of users and then testing the migration of user data prior to the start of the business day for those users.
In conclusion, Kucera Clothiers can minimize operational impact by first conducting a risk analysis in order to identify how the organization can be impacted and devising a plan to minimize that risk. Kucera can also “phase in” the server cluster into their organization by using a three-step plan. Step one ensures the hardware is installed, configured, and tested. Step two involves migrating network services from the old system to the server cluster and testing it. Step three involves migrating user data in increments of users during non-business hours and testing to ensure no data has been lost. By conducting a risk analysis and using a phase in plan, Kucera Clothiers can successfully implement the use of a network server cluster to support their IT goals.
References
(2008, November). Configuring Integration Services in a Clustered Environment. Retrieved May 17, 2009, from Configuring Integration Services in a Clustered Environment Web site: http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms345193(SQL.90).aspx
(2009). Risk Analysis & Risk Management. Retrieved May 17, 2009, from Project Risk Analysis Techniques – Risk Management from Mind Tools Web site: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_07.htm
Cat on the Roof
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, “I’m so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died.”
The man was very upset and yelled, ”You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn’t come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.” The brother thought about it and apologized.
“So how’s Mom?” asked the man.
“She’s on the roof and won’t come down.”
Hey, Mister
A lady was telling her neighbor that she saw a man driving a pick-up truck down the interstate, and a dog was hanging onto the tail gate for dear life! She said if the pick-up truck driver hadn’t been going so fast in the other direction, she would have tried to stop him. A few weeks later, her neighbor saw this truck at the Bass Pro Shop. The pick-up truck driver is a local taxidermist with a great sense of humor! And it is not a dog it is a coyote.
Analyze Trends and Technologies
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to analyze trends and technologies based upon the recommendation I made for a company to utilize a collaboration system in order to improve communications throughout their organization. The recommendation was made based upon a scenario of a company called Kucera Clothiers whose IT strategy was to improve IT communications throughout the organization of 3,500 locations with 100,000 employees worldwide. The company narrowed down the options to three projects under consideration. One project is to use wireless networks in order to access data faster. Another project involves using a collaborative system that allows for synchronous and asynchronous communications. The third project involves using a customer resource management system, however this project requires replacing previous systems and a lot of lead-time to deliver the system for operations. This document utilizes a scenario and a recommendation that was made based upon the scenario to analyze trends of technologies that are currently being used today in order to find the technologies merits and shortcomings. This document is intended for anybody looking to gain a basic knowledge or understanding of merits and shortcomings of a collaboration system technology that can be used to improve communications throughout an organization.
[Content]
The collaboration system was chosen as the most ideal solution that aligned with the Kucera Cothiers corporate IT strategy to improve communications between all of the field offices and the corporate headquarters. Since this technology was chosen it is important to understand how well this technology aligns with current trends of businesses using different technologies. There are different trends that many different businesses are using, some are software-based trends, others are hardware-based trends, and some are even in the methods of which data is accessed. These trends can help keep Kucera clothing on the cutting edge of the market in order to keep up with any competitors.
When analyzing business trends as they apply to different software technologies it becomes apparent that companies are looking for solutions that will provide a multi-platform solution with ease of modification. A programming technology that meets these business requirements is Java. Java is an open-source object oriented programming language that provides a great solution for multi-platform support. This means that an application written in Java can easily be executed on a computer that is running Microsoft Windows, Apple OS X, Linux, BSD, or numerous mobile devices. By cross-platform functioning Java proves itself to be a valuable asset to many businesses as the businesses are able to provide solutions that meet their business needs without rewriting software applications to function on each individual platform. Due to Java being open source many business are moving the direction of utilizing Java in more enterprise applications because there are no high priced licensing costs involved with developing software that is written in Java. Java can be found anywhere from mobile devices to super computers and is especially strong in web applications and enterprise applications (Preimesberger, 2002). Java provides a platform for enterprise applications to be written in and meets many business needs of being a cross platform solution that can be ran on anything from low-end handheld devices to high-end supercomputers.
Trends in computer hardware have identified that many businesses are moving to scalable high performance computing where multiple servers are clustered together to act as a single server. Clustered servers provide businesses a low-cost solution for providing services throughout the organization. Virginia Technical University was able to cluster 1,100 Apple computers together and rank as high as 7th on the world’s 500 list of the most powerful computers in the world, computing a whopping 12.25 teraflops, at only one-fifth the cost (Gibson). Although this may seem too realistic for most business needs, it does illustrate that a low-cost server cluster can produce extremely high performance that can handle almost any businesses computing needs. Having multiple computers clustered together, sharing network load, process load, memory, hard drive space, and other resources allows these computers to act as a single system in order to provide services, such as web service, e-mail service, or even services that are needed for a collaboration system. When an organization grows larger and there becomes too much of a load on the cluster, the company can simply add additional servers to scale with their business needs. Clustered servers are not isolated to one specific vendor of servers and they can vary from Apple, Dell, IBM, Intel, AMD, HP, Sun Solaris, and the list goes on. Centralized clusters of servers provide an advantage of having services, security, files, users, permissions, etc. of the systems managed from one centralized location. Long are past of the days of mainframe computers, however the information technology trend seems to be going full-circle back to high performance computing from one centralized location. Business trends show that many computers clustered together in order to appear as one large high-performance computer that is scalable to meet any business needs is where companies are turning in order to enhance their IT strategies.
With globalization what it is today many companies are looking at collaboration systems their top priorities. Collaboration systems provide many companies the ability to reduce corporate process latency times. Collaboration systems provide companies the ability for subject matter experts to communicate directly or indirectly with personnel needing their expertise. Through the use of online collaboration companies are able to provide better customer service that can lead to more sales or increased revenue. When companies purchase an online collaboration system they are able to reduce their total cost of ownership and increase their return on investment (Cisco, 2009). Collaboration systems provide companies the ability to communicate in real-time from anywhere in the world, across multiple platforms, and securely accessing critical data. Many businesses have turned to collaboration systems to provide a means of communication, in conjunction with current network infrastructure, so that products can be purchased or sold in a globalized market and providing fast and efficient customer service.
In conclusion, the decision to use a collaboration system for Kucera Clothiers provides the company a cutting-edge solution to meet their IT corporate strategy, while having the ability to improve their customer service. With viewing current trends of businesses Kucera Clothiers is on the right track to follow IT trends of providing a cross platform system that is capable of high performance computing and is able to be easily modified to meet any current or future needs of the organization. If Kucera Clothiers were to have chosen any other option rather than the collaboration system the company would have been crippling their business goals, customer service, IT strategy, and allowing any competition to gain a major advantage in today’s globalized market.
References
Preimesberger, Chris (2002, June 5th). Five emerging Java development trends. Retrieved May 9, 2009, from Tech Republic Web site: http://articles.techrepublic.com.com/5100-10878_11-1046208.html
Gibson, Barbara System X Takes on the Grand Challenge. Retrieved May 9, 2009, from Apple – Science – Profiles – Virginia Tech Web site: http://www.apple.com
Collaboration-Enabled Business Transformation. Retrieved May 10, 2009, from Cisco Web site: [URL Removed Broken link]
Business Trends
[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to describe two different business trends and determine if current business trends have a positive or negative affect on the company by utilizing a scenario of a store that has multiple sites and locations to deliver products in a fast and efficient manner. The corporate IT strategy of Kucera Clothiers is to improve IT communications throughout the organization. There are three projects under consideration to assist the organization in communications. One project is to use wireless networks in order to access data faster. Another project involves using a collaborative system that allows for synchronous and asynchronous communications. The third project involves using a customer resource management system, however this project requires replacing previous systems and a lot of lead-time to deliver the system for operations. This document is intended for anybody looking to gain a basic knowledge or understanding of business trends and how they can affect a business.
[Content]
There are many different trends in business that can affect different companies in different ways, in order to better understand how a couple of the trends will affect Kucera Clothiers, it is best to look analyze a couple and apply them to Kucera’s current business strategy. Kucera Clothier’s current business IT strategy is to improve communications between the corporate office and all of the 3,500 different locations throughout the world. With any business strategy it is important to utilize a product, service or technology to benefit the company in as many ways as possible. One major result from a well-designed business strategy is an increase in revenue or an increase in customer satisfaction. Another major result from a business strategy is to maximize a total return of investment on a good, service, or even technology the company has invested in. When a company allocates resources to provide a product, service, or technology based upon their business strategy they want to ensure they are able to maximize the amount of revenue it can generate for the company, as well as, knowing how business trends can affect their business.
Computer software and how the software is written is an example of a business trend that can affect how a company conducts business. The object-oriented software platform Java is a technology that can greatly impact a company. By cross-platform functioning Java proves itself to be a valuable asset to many Kucera as Kucera is able to provide solutions that meet their business needs without rewriting software applications to function on each individual computing platform. Many businesses have been utilizing Java, not only because of its cross-platform abilities, but also because of its ease of use to write applications in as opposed to some of the other and more difficult programming languages like C, C++, Cobalt, Fortran, etc. Java benefits companies because it does not have high priced licensing costs as other programming languages due to its open-source nature. Java has the flexibility to support applications on low-end systems like handheld devices, but it also can support applications on super computers, however it is especially strong in web and enterprise applications (Preimesberger, 2002). By Kucera having an enterprise application written in Java, Kucera can easily support the application on a wide variety of devices and maximize their overall return on investment while improving communications throughout the organization.
Many businesses have been trying to be more environmentally conscious by reducing their network server footprint and turning to a clustered server architecture. A cluster is a series of computer hardware devices that function as a single system. The server cluster allows servers to share valuable resources like memory, storage space, network connectivity, and even processing cycles in order to serve user demands (Dubash, 2006). A server cluster can prove to be a valuable asset to Kucera Clothiers because it provides a low-cost solution that has the ability to be flexible and grow with the organization. Server clusters provide additional value to a business because they do not rely on a single vendor as a single server manufacturer or multiple manufacturers can be used to create a cluster. Businesses use server clusters to provide many IT services such as e-mail, web, file sharing, or other enterprise services. With businesses choosing to have a centralized cluster of servers, the amount of IT support personnel needed to maintain and administer the cluster is greatly reduced, resulting in a high rate of return on a relatively low-cost of investment. Business trends show that many organizations are turning to server clusters to provide a low-cost business solution that has the ability to grow with the organization and requiring a smaller amount of IT support staff, while having a greater impact on the environment.
In conclusion, when a Kucera Clothier’s decide to invest in a product, service, or even a technology, they are looking to maximize their revenue and obtaining a higher rate of return on their investment. Being aware of business trends that exist in the market can help the company to maintain their competitive edge. A couple business trends that can greatly benefit Kucera Clothiers is to utilized a network server cluster that can be administered from a centralized location, while writing business applications in Java in order to provide a cross-platform solution to support a wide range of devices and ideally align with their corporate IT business strategy.
References
Preimesberger, Chris (2002, June 5th). Five emerging Java development trends. Retrieved May 10th, 2009, from Tech Republic Web site: http://articles.techrepublic.com.com/5100-10878_11-1046208.html
Dubash, Manek (2006, June 9th). Microsoft releases Windows Compute Cluster Server 2003. Retrieved May 10, 2009, from Tech World Web site: http://www.techworld.com/news/index.cfm?newsID=6189
Affairs
First Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep
and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” his wife demanded.
“I can’t lie to you,” he replied, “I’m having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.”
She looked down at his shoes and said: “You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!”
The 2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: “There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?”
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: “No, not this time!”
The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
“I’m sorry Mr.. Schwartz,” the mortician commented, “I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.” So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
“I have something to show you won’t believe,” he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
“My God!” the wife exclaimed, “Schwartz is dead!”
The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner.”
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
“Don’t move until I tell you,” she said. “Pretend you’re a statue.”
“What’s this?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.
“Oh it’s a statue,” she replied.
“The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.”
No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned! with a sandwich and a beer.
“Here,” he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.”
The 5th Affair
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
“Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.”
“One Cent?” the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked: “How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?”
“A nickel,” the barman replied.
“A nickel?” exclaimed the man.
“Where’s the guy who owns this place?”
The bartender replied: “Upstairs, with my wife.”
The man asked: “What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?”
The bartender replied: “The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.”
The 6th Affair
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly: “I have something I must confess.”
“There’s no need to, “his wife replied.
“No,” he insisted,
“I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!”
“I know,” she replied. “Now just rest and let the poison work.”