Author's posts
Wrong Approach
Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other, “you know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get into the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my …
Government Matchmaker
A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage & said, “I am looking for a spouse. Can you please help me find a suitable one?” The marriage officer said, “Your requirements, please.” ” Well, let me see…needs to be good-looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good singing and dancing….willing to accompany me the whole day …
Polynesian Cultural Center
Drove over to the north shore on Oahu, Hawaii today and went to the polynesian cultural center located in Laie. This place is a fun place to learn about Polynesia and learn about what makes up Polynesia and where the people originally came from and what is unique about each culture and what makes them …
Monday Night Football: Washington Redskins beat the Dallas Cowboys
Monday night football resulted with the Washington Redskins beating the Dallas Cowboys 14-13. Now not to much surprise this really wasn’t an exciting game. This game seemed to have a combination of strong defenses and conservative play calling that led to the non exciting performances, not to mention the temperature on the field of play …
Hawaii Dinner Cruise
Went out on a dinner cruise off the shore of Oahu today. It was a nice relaxing event with some good food and excellent views of the island. Here are some of the photos I took at this event. You can see pictures of Diamond Head the extinct volcano, Waikiki, Honolulu, and the island of …
Your Age by Chocolate Math
Your age by chocolate math’, ‘Work this out as you read …Be sure you don”t read the bottom until you”ve worked it out!This is not one of those waste of time things, it”s fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate(more than once but …
The Truth about Barbecuing
From the wonderful world of Toronto Canada comes this lovely joke called, “The TRUTH about Barbecuing”‘, ‘Barbecuing is the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man declares he will BBQ the following chain of events is put into motion:1.) The woman goes to the store and buys everything. 2.) The …
Where is Your Underwear
The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any knickers?” her husband demanded. “Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.” The …
Guns Don’t Kill People, Doctors Do
Think about this: Doctors:(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000. (C) Accidental deaths per physician are 0.171.Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services Now think about this: Guns:(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that”s …
University of Southern California football vs the University of Hawaii
Saturday was the football game where the number 1 University of Southern California played the University of Hawaii. It was well known that the game was not going to be close and that was predicted by a 35 point spread for those gambling people. USC had most of their returning players, while the UH football …
26 Reasons Why Men Have 2 Dogs and Not 2 Wives:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don”t hate it. 4. Dogs don”t notice if you call them by another dog”s name. 5. Dogs like it if you leave a …
University of Southern California against University of Hawaii Football Game
Went to the University of Southern California against the University of Hawaii football game today. This was a fun game because USC has Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush with a whole bunch of other good players. The University of Hawaii had Colt Brennan. The game was not even close from the start. The high performance …
Chinese Sick Leave
Hung Chow called into work and says, “Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.” The boss says, “You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me …
Few Short Stories of Stupid Events
Recently, when I went to McDonald”s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets I asked for a half dozen nuggets. “We don”t have half dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter. “You don”t?” I replied. “We only have six, nine, or twelve,” was …
Survivor Southern Style
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, several southern TV stations are joining together and are planning to do their own, entitled “Survivor: Southern Style.” The contestants will start in Alabama; travel over to Georgia and on to South Carolina.‚Äö From there they will head up to North Carolina and over to Tennessee. They …
Bond Set for Michael Moffatt Charged With Shooting Wife
(photo courtesy of The Kumachan) Michael Clinton Moffatt, charged at the beginning of the month with attempted murder, has been trying since then to get a judge to set bail, but until Tuesday had no luck. Following a hearing before Mobile County Circuit Judge Charles Graddick, a bail of $250,000 was ordered for the 15-year …
Atlantis Submarine Tour – Honolulu Hawaii
Today I took the Atlantis Submarine tour out of the Hawaiian Hilton Hotel. This tour was superb. First you leave from Waikiki and they take you out on a boat to rendezvous with a submarine that is waiting. You want to be sure to get there early and try to take the earliest tour if …
New Tax Law
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the …
“Somebody” Knows Jack About Motherhood
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby…somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother,”normal” is history. Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct…somebody never took a three-year-old shopping. Somebody said being a mother is boring…somebody never rode in a car driven …
Make Time for Loved Ones
After 21 years of marriage, My wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.” The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who …
Classic Schwartzkopf Quote
In a recent interview, General Norman Schwartzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. His answer was classic Schwartzkopf. The General said, I believe that forgiving them is God’s function. Our job is to arrange …
Happy Easter
We here at The Kumachan want to wish each of you a very happy Easter holiday. Be sure to keep an eye out for what kind of chocolate eggs you are eating. We are yet to find a bunny large enough to lay chocolate eggs and even if there are bunnies that big, we still …
Bad habits
Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you; The next day I stopped smoking. Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you; The next day I stopped eating red meat.. 8 days ago, I read that drinking can kill you; The next day I stopped drinking. Yesterday, I …
Toast of the Night
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer & said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the …