Cajun Math

A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.” “Without numbers?” The Cajun says, “Dat is easy.” And proceeds to draw three trees.


“What’s this?” the boss asks “Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,” says the Cajun.

“Fair enough,” says the boss. “Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.” The Cajun stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. ; “Ere you go.”


The boss scratches his head and says, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?” “Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.”

The boss is getting worried that he’s going to actually have to hire this Cajun, so he says, “All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.” The Cajun stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, “Ere you go. One hundred.”

The boss looks at the attempt. “You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!” The Cajun leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, “A little dog come along and poop by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which make one hundred.” The Cajun is the new supervisor.

Morals

I was a very happy man.

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two and gorgeous. One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Low and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

Interesting Cars

Yesterday I drove to Narita airport and after I parked my car I happened to notice a couple interesting cars in the parking lot, so I had to take a couple photos. The yellow car is called a smart car. It looks extremely small and compact. I think you may fit one comfortably and a briefcase. This car is in Japan, so maybe you could fit two Japanese people comfortably. The 2nd car, I have no idea what kind of car it is, but I thought the rear window was unique. The overall shape of the car was pretty unique.

Photos of Drive Between Sagami-ono to Narita, Japan

Took a drive from Sagami-ono to Narita airport in Japan. Here are some photos I took along the way and also some neat cars I saw at the Narita airport.

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Bacon Grease Warning, Please Read!


The question is: Do you use bacon grease?
We were raised on bacon grease (lard) as kids and even into adulthood. I will never use it again. I hope you will throw yours away whenever you fry bacon from now on. It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.

Cooking With Bacon Grease
I just threw out my last 2 tbsp of bacon grease! This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease. This is a warning. It could happen to you…

Bacon grease will make your feet small! Warn everyone!

Network Testing Programs

[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to explain different types of testing programs that can be used to identify network latency issues when planning a network upgrade. Also included within this document are naming conventions for networking devices and hosts. Lastly this document will outline and explain different types of equipment and their roles as they pertain to network security based upon a provided scenario.

[Introduction and background]
Mr. Smith is the Director of IT at a law firm located in downtown Chicago. He needs to plan for a network upgrade. He has decided that he would like to have a network analysis done before the upgrade so that he can find out which systems would require upgrades and to create a strategy to present to the senior partners that will include return on investment.

The law offices occupy four floors of a high-rise building. The customer is experiencing network latency, especially in the Accounting department and in Human Resources, which both reside on the 32nd floor. The director of the Accounting department has expressed concerns about the security of his files. The Research, IT, and Corporate Administration departments all share the 33rd floor. The senior and junior partners and their support staff occupy the 35th floor, and the 36th floor is used for reception and conference rooms. The firm has decided that video conferencing is an essential component of its business and is looking to implement video conferencing as soon as possible so it can communicate with two new satellite offices that will be occupied in six months.

The firm has one network segment for each floor, but has been experiencing latency. Each floor except the 36th has 10 to 20 printers. Each floor has a 100Mb uplink to the Data Center on the 33rd floor. There are approximately 50 PCs on the 36th floor, 150 PCs on the 35th floor, and 40 PCs on both the 32nd and 33rd floors. The servers for each department reside on their respective floors. Mr. Smith is concerned about network security and wants a recommendation to secure traffic of three specific departments: Human Resources, Accounting, and Corporate Administration.

[Recommended testing program (Prototype or Pilot)]
When testing a network to get a complete understanding of issues the network may be having there is no silver bullet application, but rather a combination of applications that have specific functions. The first thing that is a major concern with understanding possible issues that are happening on a network is possible bottlenecks or bandwidth limitations as they pertain to network performance. One application that performs a secure real-time network monitoring is called “nettest (Agarwal, Boverhof, Jackson).” This open-source application designed to run on Linux platform and it incorporates a few different frameworks to conduct a series of tests as they pertain to network performance. This application is designed to work between a couple different hosts on a network so prior to using it; authorization must be attained in order to install the application between hosts. Once the performance testing is complete, it is important to know what is being sent accrossed the network. To determine what is being sent accrossed a network a packet sniffer can be used. A good useful free network packet sniffer is called “Wireshark (Sharpe, Warnicke, 2008).” Wireshark allows to packets to be captured and dumped into a file where they can be analyzed at a later point in time or for somebody with fast eyes they can analyze the packets in real-time. For both types of tests, it is recommended to perform the tests over a period of time such as over a 24-hour period. This will help to understand the demands placed on the network during peak hours as well as non-peak hours of operation. The use of multiple programs to analyze network performance and breakdown of the types of network traffic will help to identify any issues.

[Naming Structure]
When naming network devices it is important to give a device a name that can identify whom the device serves and the devices location. To identify whom the device serves there is not enough space within the devices name space to allow for complete names, so abbreviations are going to have to be used (Morris, 2008). For example the human resources department has a 3 letter designator HUM, accounting ACC, administration ADM, sales SAL, information technology INF, shipping SHI, corporate COR, and so on. To identify a devices location a building number, floor number, and room number can be used. Finally if it is desired a device can be identified by the device and if it is an internal or external device by using the identifiers SW for switch, R for router, B for bridge, W for workstation, or SE for server. When all of these abbreviations are put together a possible name for a device can look like this: ACC-115-32-J-SWI. This methodology tells somebody that this device is found in the accounting department of building 115, located on the 32nd floor in room J, and it is an internal switch. Following naming structure helps identify devices, their functions, and where they are located.

[Adequacy of security for the data in each department]
No matter which company, which organization, or which department somebody works for; there is always a need to keep data secure. Even though people work for the same company doesn’t mean they need access to the same data. One method to keep different departments from accessing each other’s data is by logically separating the network via the use of virtual LANS otherwise known as VLANs. Using VLANs keeps each department segmented so that only personnel within a particular department can access only that department’s data. Another way to keep data secured is for data that is stored in a centralized location, like a file server, is by the use of file permissions. Personnel without the correct permissions will not be able to access a particular file. It is also important to ensure data is being transported securely acrossed a network. To ensure data is being transmitted securely on the network, IPSec can be used. IPSec encrypts packets of information so that it can reach the intended destination securely. Finally it is important to ensure no outside access is allowed on the network. To prevent unauthorized access to a network, a firewall can be used. A network firewall inspects every packet it receives by checking the source and destination of each packet, and then it checks an access control list (ACL) to verify access is allowed before the packet is forwarded onto the destination.

[Functions of each network device]
Different networking devices function at different layers of the OSI model and therefore each can do their own part in ensuring a network is secure. Starting at the lowest level of the OSI model and working toward the top we can see what each device does and what added security it can provide. Physical security plays an important part of ensuring the physical connectivity is secured within a controlled area. Switches function at the data-link layer of the OSI model and their responsibility is to transport data quickly and efficiently. Switches also provide network security by allowing a network to be segmented into different VLANs. Routers function at the network layer of the OSI model and their function are to transport data from one network to another. Routers can provide a little security by providing an ACL to ensure network traffic from one network is authorized to access another network. Network firewalls also function at the network layer and their main purpose is to ensure both that traffic is authorized from one network segment to another, but also a firewall blocks any unused network ports from being accessed. Networked servers can function at the session, presentation, and application layers of the OSI model. A properly configured network server can provide security be ensuring packets are encrypted, authorized users are allowed to access a network by authenticating users, and files are secured with the correct file permissions. Each device on a network plays it own role to ensuring access to a network is authorized and data within the network is secured.

[How needs of key departments change with the network design]
Even though different departments work for the same company their specific needs may influence the design of a network. The most obvious specific need for a department is the amount of users the department has. Since the senior and junior staff of the law firm occupies the 35th floor with 150 different computers, they may have a higher demand for bandwidth than the accounting and human resources departments, which occupy the 32nd and 33rd floors with only 40 computers. The IT and research departments may both have specific needs of having the need to put their own networking devices on the network to allow for them to create a test network. The corporate department may want to use voice over IP services and therefore have a specific need of having a voice VLAN configured on their networking devices. No matter what the specific need of a department is, a good network design must incorporate all of the departments needs for both today and into the future.

[Conclusion]
In conclusion, to best identify issues pertaining to the law firm’s network a couple different tools should be used to both identify any possible bandwidth issues or issues pertaining to the types of traffic being passed along the network. Different departments within the law firm have different needs and therefore each network segment should be designed to accommodate each department’s needs. The company’s current network security is inadequate, so network security should be implemented at multiple layers of the OSI model to ensure all communications and data is secure. Each device within the network topology can play a specific role to ensuring the network is secure.

[References]
1. Agarwal, Boverhof, Jackson, Deb, Joshua, and Keith Nettest: Secure Network Testing and Monitoring. Retrieved September 27, 2008, from Nettest: Secure Network Testing and Monitoring Web site: http://acs.lbl.gov/~boverhof/nettest.html
2. Sharpe, Warnicke, Richard, Ed (2008). Wireshark: Go deep. Retrieved September 27, 2008, from Wireshark: Go deep. Web site: http://www.wireshark.org
Morris, Michael (2008, January 10th). Naming Conventions | NetworkWorld.com Community. Retrieved September 27, 2008, from Naming Conventions | NetworkWorld.com Community Web site: http://www.networkworld.com/community/node/23721

Motivational Posters #1

Frisbee dog

Moments When It’s O.K. to Say, “Oh Shit!”

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond. Dumb ass.

Who Said China is Polluted?

He Wore His Collar Backwards

A little boy got on the city bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father.”
The little boy replied, “My Dad doesn’t wear his collar like that.”
The priest looked up from his book and answered, “I am the Father of many.”
The boy said‚ “My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.”
The priest, getting impatient, said‚ “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, “Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards Instead of your collar.”

Routing Protocols

[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to explain different routing protocols by using them within a scenario of being charged to reconfigure a company’s network. In the past static routes have been used and, for the scenario, I would like to ease the configuration of routing information. I am concerned about processor utilization if dynamic routing protocols are used. Also the reduction of network utilization by routing protocols is desired, as well as, ensuring the shortest path is the path taken all while preventing routing loops.
[Introduction and background]
I have been charged with the task of reconfiguring my company’s network which has grown considerably over the past year. Previously static routes have been used, but I do not wish to maintain the static routing tables since the network has grown. I would rather use a dynamic routing protocol to cause me the least amount of administrative work as possible, however I do have some major concerns. I would like to automate the updating of router table information, but I do not want this to put a major burden on my networking devices processor, memory, and I do not want this automation to place a burden on my network bandwidth. I also wish to ensure packets are being sent along the truest shortest path and in the process, avoid causing any routing loops. Finally I would like to ensure I have redundant links, so that in the event of a failure traffic will still be able to be passed via the shortest path. I am going to draw a conclusion about which dynamic routing protocol will best suite my needs by thoroughly assessing the different types of dynamic routing protocols based upon my requirements.
[Comparison of routing protocols: memory, processor, and network bandwidth usage]
There are different link-state routing protocols and it is important to know each one. Open Shortest Path First (OSPF) is a link-state routing protocol that utilizes route tables, topological databases, and the shortest path first algorithm to determine the most ideal path to send data along. OSPF uses only the destination address of a packet to determine the best route. Because OSPF maintains routing tables and topological databases it can quickly determine if a link should happen to go down and therefore reduces the processor and bandwidth overhead needed for passing routing information. OSPF maintains neighboring relationships between routers in which “hello packets” are exchanged during a handshaking by each router. This handshaking is when routers will send any updates to their routing table. Another link-state routing protocol is the Intermediate System to Intermediate System (IS-IS) routing protocol. The IS-IS routing protocol is similar to OSPF, however it is an interior gateway protocol. This means that it does not route information to external autonomous systems, and therefore relies on an exterior gateway protocol to talk between different autonomous systems (Martey, 2002). The IS-IS protocol is also not an Internet standard and also is not as widely used as OSPF. The IS-IS protocol functions at the networking layer of the OSI model, which is at the same layer as IP traffic, but it does not use IP to carry routing information messages. OSPF, on the other hand, functions at the networking layer, but it functions on top of IP allowing it to use the Internet Protocol to carry routing information messages. OSPF and IS-IS are routing protocols that are similar, however OSPF is the most widely used routing protocol and it can function on top of the Internet Protocol.
There are different distance-vector routing protocols and it is important to know about each one. The routing information protocol (RIP) is a distance vector protocol which uses hop-count as a routing metric and it relies on information from other routers to attempt to determine the best routing path. RIP allows for a 15 maximum hop count and it sends complete routing table updates to other routers every 30 seconds. Cisco has developed a proprietary distance-vector routing protocol called “Interior Gateway Routing Protocol (IGRP).” This routing protocol uses the distance-vector algorithm with the conjunction of four elements, bandwidth, delay, load, and reliability, to determine the best path for routing packets. IGRP sends routing information to other routers on the network every 90 seconds and can become both a burden on network bandwidth and processor utilization as it is updating routing information in 90 second intervals. Although, IGRP is better than RIP, it too can use some improvement. Enhanced Interior Gateway Routing Protocol (EIGRP) is a Cisco proprietary protocol, however it is not the same as IGRP. EIGRP is a balanced network protocol that uses a hybrid of both the link-state and distance vector routing algorithms. This has many benefits as it provides an equal-cost load balancing, incremental routing updates, and formal neighbor relationships (Lammel, Barkl, 2003). EIGRP is similar to IGRP as it uses the same distance-vector information as IGRP, but it puts a different algorithm against that information. EIGRP uses a diffusing update algorithm (DUAL) to calculate different metrics. Distance-vector routing protocols rely on information from other routers, which is sent out in 30 second intervals, to determine the most ideal path for passing traffic.
[Distance vector protocols versus link state protocols]
When considering which dynamic routing protocol is best to use for reconfiguring a network, it is important to know about routing protocols. Routing protocols are a set of protocols that have a specific function. Routing protocols main function is to maintain route tables that are used by routers and make decisions based upon those routes (Lammel, Barkl, 2003). There are two major categories of routing protocols: Link-state and Distance-vector. A link-state routing protocol understands an entire network, it does not listen to secondhand information, and it can make advanced routing decisions. A distance-vector routing protocol only understands the distance and direction to a network connection and it listens to secondhand information in order to get its routing table updates. Link-state routing protocols will send routing information to other routers during a handshake period of communication. This allows for less CPU utilization and less bandwidth needed because link-state routing protocols only update routing tables that have changed. Distance-vector routing protocols rely on information from other routers so they will periodically send routing tables to other routers, which in the even of a connection going down can slow down a network because all networking devices using distance-vector routing will send information to each other. There are two different types of routing protocols, link-state and distance-vector, that both have their advantages, disadvantages, and proper uses.
[Recommended Protocol]
Both the link-state and the distance-vector routing protocols have advantages and disadvantages, however it is the advanced metric calculating and hybrid of both link-state and distance-vector that allows for the Cisco proprietary EIGRP routing protocol to be the most ideal dynamic routing protocol to best suite my requirements and allow for the reconfiguring of the network.
[Conclusion]
In conclusion, both link-state and distance-vector routing protocols had their uses, however it is the hybrid of both of these two routing protocols which will be the most ideal solution for my reconfiguration of my company’s network. Link-state routing protocol is efficient in identifying the most ideal routes by talking with other routers and sharing if a connection goes down. Distance-vector was one of the first routing protocols used, however its lack of efficiency and relying on outside sources to pass traffic with the high overhead needed makes it not a viable solution to suite my needs.
[References]
1. Lammel, Barkl, Todd, Andy (2003). CCDA Cisco Certified Design Associate. Alameda, California: SYBEC Inc..
2. Martey, Abe (2002, May 17). Integrated IS-IS Routing Protocol Concepts. Retrieved September 21, 2008, from Integrated IS-IS Routing Protocol Concepts Web site: http://www.ciscopress.com/articles/article.asp?p=26850

Cars

3 Hillbillies

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin’ the breeze.
1st Hillbilly says: “My wife sure is stupid!…She bought an air conditioner. ”
2nd Hillbilly says: “Why is that stupid?”
1st Hillbilly says: “We ain’t got no ‘lectricity!”
2nd Hillbilly says: “That’s nothin’! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin ‘ machines!”
1st Hillbilly says: “Why is that so stupid?”
2nd Hillbilly says: “‘Cause we ain’t got no plummin’!”
3rd Hillbilly says: “That ain’t nuthin’! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin’ fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.”
1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: “Well, what’s so dumb about that?”
3rd Hillbilly says: “She ain’t got no pecker.

Only a Mom Would Know

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home..

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know… ‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?

Customs

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”

“Of course child. What may I do for you?”

“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”

“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.”

“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.”

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”

“I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is to date, unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next!”

Politics: Together We Can Make it Happen

There are two months until the General Election, an election that will decide the next President of the United States . The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. It’s time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

If you support the policies and character of John McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day.

If you support Barack Obama, please drive with your headlights off at night. Together, we can make it happen.

Anger Management

Sometimes when you are angry with someone, it helps to sit down and think about the problem.

50th Anniversary

A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

‘Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad,’ gushed son number one …. ‘Sorry I’m running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn’t have time to get you a gift.’

‘Not to worry, ‘ said the father. ‘The important thing is that we’re all together today.’

Son number two arrived and announced, ‘You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions a nd didn’t have time to shop for you.’

‘It’s nothing,’ said the father, ‘We’re glad you were able to come.’

Just then the daughter arrived, ‘Hello and happy anniversary! I’m sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn’t have time to get you anything.’

After they had finished dessert, the father said, ‘There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married.’

The three children gasped and all said, ‘You mean we’re bastards?’

‘Yep,’ said the father. ‘And cheap ones too.’

Networking Protocols and Models

[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to explain different networking protocols and models by explaining what is needed to upgrade a network from a bus topology to a star topology. Also included within this document is information about a network design to allow for maximum users with maximum throughput for 100Mbps to the customer’s desktop within the star topology.

[Content]
When considering changing the topology on a business network, it is important to know information about different network topologies and benefits of each. The four most commonly found network topologies are the star, ring, bus, and mesh (Mitchell, 2008). The star topology has a centralized device, that which is like a hub of a wheel, with multiple connections going out to different devices. The ring topology has multiple devices along a network ring and they can either send data only one way or they can send data bi-directionally. The bus topology has a single path with multiple devices connected along that path and terminators on each end of the path. The bus topology was most commonly found as using coaxial cable at 10Mbps with multiple computers connected in series to it. The mesh topology has multiple devices with multiple paths between devices; this is by far the most complex and most robust topology out of the group. Knowing about the different types of network topologies, helps a customer know which will best suite their needs.
When making a decision of upgrading from a bus topology to a star topology, there are many choices that need to be made prior to making the best decision. The first most important decision to be made is about what type of media is going to be used. If existing CAT-5 or CAT-5e cable is present, it would be recommended to reutilize that, however since it is most likely that coaxial cable was used the other option is to use fiber optic cable. Fiber optic cable would be an ideal choice in the event that long distances or network security are major concerns for the computer network. Since neither of these was identified as possible issues, we’ll assume that CAT-6 cable is being used. The reinstallation of the network infrastructure is the most major part for upgrading from a bus to a star topology.
In order to get a complete idea of what is needed to upgrade the network, all necessary hardware pieces need to be identified. First and foremost if the local computers do not have 100BaseT network interface cards (NICs) in them, then enough NICs need to be purchased to populate all of the necessary computers. Additionally drop boxes and patch panels will be needed to be purchased for the infrastructure to interconnect the communications closet to the local users work areas. Depending on how many users are going to be on the network, I would recommend purchasing smaller Cisco 3750 switches for each office. The Cisco 3750 switches need to have 2 Gigabit uplink ports to be able to connect to the centralized hub of the topology. I recommend using a Cisco Catalyst 4506, 6509, or 6513, depending on how large the network is going to be. If all users are going to be located in one building, then just one major switch can be utilized with no secondary switches needed, however if a few buildings or one large building is going to be used, then there may be a need for additional switches. I also recommend the Cisco catalyst switch to have redundant power supplies, supervisory cards, and uplinks to the router that is routing traffic out of the local area network. This is due to this one piece of equipment being the single point of failure, having redundant power supplies, supervisory cards, and uplinks all ensure there is minimal downtime in the event of a hardware failure.
Even though some equipment will be located at the local users work areas, some of the equipment will be located in the communications closet. It is recommended that the central core switch is located in the communications closet because physical security ensures a raised level of security on a computer network. Also located in the communications closet will be a patch panel that with the use of patch cords will interconnect the core switch to the local user’s workstations. Also located in the communications closet should be an uninterruptible power supply (UPS). The UPS should be large enough to keep all equipment in the communications closet online in the event of a power outage. Also located in the communications closet should be the router and point of demarcation for the LAN to be routed out of the building. All necessary core communications equipment, with supporting power equipment, and horizontal distribution for the network should be secured within the communications closet.
There are some key steps that need to be taken in order to ensure maximum network security and throughput can be maintained. All critical network, power, and horizontal distribution equipment should be locked and secured within the communications closet. Physical security is one level to ensuring the complete network is secure. Additionally, the configuration of all networking devices should be using port security. This ensures that only authorized computers are provided with network connectivity. Third it is recommended that any unused ports on any networking equipment are disabled. The horizontal distribution patch panel should only have patch cables for ports that are being used to be connected to the core switch. This ensures unauthorized users do not plug an unauthorized device into an open port on the network infrastructure to obtain network connectivity. To maximize network throughput it is recommended that wherever an additional switch is being used to utilized two uplink ports from that switch to the core switch and establish a Gigabit EtherChannel (GEC). The GEC establishes a two gigabit connection between switches and ensures there is enough bandwidth necessary to support all users (Cisco). Maintaining network security and maximum throughput on a network are essential for both protecting the network and ensuring scalability of the network, today and in the future.
In conclusion, when upgrading from a network bus topology to a star topology it is important to invest, not only in the infrastructure, but also in the core devices. By making the investment the network can maintain a high level of security, as well as, a high level of scalability. Proper configuration of networking devices also ensures a high level of security and a maximum level of data throughput for all users. Security all critical networking equipment in the communications closest guarantees the star topology is a more ideal choice to meet all the company’s business needs.

References
1. Mitchell, Bradley Topologies – Network Topologies – Types of Topology Examples – Bus Ring Star. Retrieved September 7, 2008, from Topologies – Network Topologies – Types of Topology Examples – Bus Ring Star Web site: http://compnetworking.about.com/od/networkdesign/a/topologies.htm
2. Catalyst 5000 Family Software Configuration Guide (6.3 and 6.4) – Configuring Fast EtherChannel and Gigabit EtherChannel [Cisco Catalyst 5000 Series Switches] – Cisco Systems. Retrieved September 7, 2008, from Catalyst 5000 Family Software Configuration Guide (6.3 and 6.4) – Configuring Fast EtherChannel and Gigabit EtherChannel [Cisco Catalyst 5000 Series Switches] – Cisco Systems Web site: [URL Removed Broken link]

Buttercups and Golfballs

Towards the end of the golf course, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden . . .POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, “I’m Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won’t have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better still, you won’t have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life…As a matter of fact, you’ll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!” Then POOF! … She was gone!

After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, “Fred, where are you?” Fred yells back, “I’m over here in the pussy willows.”

Dave shouts back, “Don’t swing, Fred, for the love of god, don’t swing!”

Interesting Houses

A Cat Named Lucky

Hallmark Writers

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day……..

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don’t fret about it.. .
She moved in with me.

Looking back over the years
that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder…..
‘What the hell was I thinking?’

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

I’ve always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I’ve changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…
That you’re not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia)

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

When we were together,
you always said you’d die for me.
Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.

We have been friends for a very long time ..
let’s say we stop?

I’m so miserable without you
it’s almost like you’re here.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

Network Design Scenario

                                                                                            [Scenario]
Schaumburg Elementary is a four-year-old, single-level building with 12 classrooms and a library. Each classroom currently has 24 students but could possibly seat 32 students. There are currently no portable classrooms but a student enrollment growth is just starting to hit the school.

Enough computers are available for six classrooms and the library immediately, and the intent is to outfit the remaining six classrooms next year. The plan is to make the Internet and some online services available to the students. The computers are current enough to be useful for at least two years.

The library, which is somewhat centrally located, is where the server(s) and router connecting the school to the Internet will be located. Assume that all rooms will have 24 computers and that each room will use a stackable hub solution that combines a 12-port hub and a 24-port hub for 36 total ports. Being stackable units, the network will see each stack as a single 36-port device.

                                                                                            [Content]
When looking at the scenario for the elementary school, or any networking design scenario, it is important to first understand all of the requirements that are set by the customer. We know there are enough computers to outfit seven classrooms and the library. Based upon the information provided we know we potentially have 24 students in each classroom and perhaps the same for the library, which is approximately 168 computers. Another requirement identified by the customer is that they intend to outfit another six classrooms in the next upcoming year, which means there will be a need for another 168 computers. We also know the school does not have an infinite budget and is in the classroom environment, so the room design may change based upon teachers wants or needs. The current design for the network is using a star topology and is located in a single story building. The school has agreed to upgrade from hubs to stackable switches allowing for a total of 36 ports per classroom.

The next step to choosing to most ideal solution for a customer is to know their physical layout and requirements and start choosing the media and best devices to suite the customer’s needs. Typically when designing a network it is common practice to put together a plan that meets the current requirements, plus a 30% overhead for future growth, however in this scenario the school is going to be upgrading 6 additional classrooms within the next year and each switch in the classroom already has plenty of room for future expansion with 36 ports. Since the school does not have an unlimited budget and currently has hubs in place and the building is only 4 years old, we can assume CAT-5, CAT-5e, or CAT-6 cable was previously installed into the building, and therefore we know our data speeds will be either 10/100/1000Mbps. If a previous network was not installed, we could recommend a wireless network to allow for the change of the classroom layout and to cut the costs of cabling. Since the scenario does not specify we will assume CAT-5e or CAT-6 was installed and we will reutilize current cabling infrastructure to better suit our design needs. With knowing the star topology and a current requirement for 6 classrooms to be outfitted and the library, we can begin to form a recommendation to the school. We will recommend using seven 12-port stackable switches with two uplink ports, seven 24-port switches with two uplink ports, and one core distribution switch with at least 12-gigabit ports. The uplink ports are essential because they will provide the gigabit uplink to the core switch. The second step in the design of a network is to look at the physical connectivity and put that together with current equipment that can be found on the market.

The third step in designing a network is to look at how many IP addresses will be needed and plan to accommodate all for now and the future. Since the school advised us that it could only afford 2 public IP addresses, we know we are going to using the network address translation protocol in the router and therefore we can use a private IP address range for all the devices on the network. We know the school currently needs approximately 168 IP addresses for computers, one for the server, one for the switch, and one for the router, which brings us to a total of 171 total IP addresses. A private class “C” network would accommodate 253 hosts and the current needs of this infrastructure, however we know we are going to add another 168 computers next year, so we should use a class “B” network because it allows for a total of 1,048,576 contiguous IP addresses. The 3rd step to designing a network is to plan for ease of configuration and accommodate all hosts/devices on the customer’s network.

The 4th step to the network design proposal is to get the pricing of different types of equipment from different vendors. Listed below is a price list of the necessary equipment and cabling needed for this project with references for each device.
Device Cost Quantity Reference
Solution #1
Cisco Catalyst 3750-24PS SMI Switch $3,199.99 7 http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&q=cisco+catalyst+3750&cid=7157816595940066664#ps-sellers
Cisco WS-CE500G-12TC Switch $1,229.99 7 http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/searchtools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=3505616&Sku=C94-2180&SRCCODE=GOOGLEBASE&cm_mmc_o=TBBTkwCjCVyBpAgf%20mwzygtCjCVRqCjCVRq
Cisco WS-C3560G-24PS-E Switch $6,921.95 1
Linksys Router RVS4000 $137.95 1 [URL Removed Broken link]
Blackbox Cable 1000ft $216.99 2 http://www.onsale.com/shop/detail.aspx?dpno=499593&store=onsale&source=bwbfroogle
Belkin CAT6 RJ-45(M) Network Connector, 100 Pack $43.99 10 http://www.superwarehouse.com/p.cfm?p=1525507&CMP=KAC-GoogleShopping&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=1525507
Crimpers $24.10 1 http://www.antonline.com/p_RJ4511TOOL-GP_221794.htm
Total Cost $38,967.74
Solution #2
Netgear GSM7328S Switch $1,749.99 15 http://www.netgear.com/Products/Switches/FullyManaged10_100_1000Switches.aspx
Netgear RP614 Router $49.99 1 http://www.netgear.com/Products/RoutersandGateways/WiredRouters/RP614.aspx
Blackbox Cable 1000ft $216.99 2 http://www.onsale.com/shop/detail.aspx?dpno=499593&store=onsale&source=bwbfroogle
Belkin CAT6 RJ-45(M) Network Connector, 100 Pack $43.99 10 http://www.superwarehouse.com/p.cfm?p=1525507&CMP=KAC-GoogleShopping&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=1525507
Crimpers $24.10 1 http://www.antonline.com/p_RJ4511TOOL-GP_221794.htm
Total Cost $27,198.82
Solution #3
3Com 3CR17761-91 $2,143.79 7 http://www.provantage.com/3com-3cr17761-91~73COT06U.htm
3Com 3CR17660-91-US $916.15 7 http://www.eworldsale.com/3com-12-port-4200g-gigabit-switch-4x-mini-gbic-1x-xenpak-1u-stackable_6027_13292.html
3Com 3C13640-US $384.33 1 http://www.provantage.com/3com-3c13640~73COI01F.htm
Blackbox Cable 1000ft $216.99 2 http://www.onsale.com/shop/detail.aspx?dpno=499593&store=onsale&source=bwbfroogle
Belkin CAT6 RJ-45(M) Network Connector, 100 Pack $43.99 10 http://www.superwarehouse.com/p.cfm?p=1525507&CMP=KAC-GoogleShopping&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=1525507
Crimpers $24.10 1 http://www.antonline.com/p_RJ4511TOOL-GP_221794.htm
Total Cost $22,701.89

Step 5 to the network design is to put together a proposal, which explains the requirements, the equipment necessary, the advantages and disadvantages of each, and the costs involved with the project.

In conclusion, when putting together a network design proposal for a customer it is best to start with looking at the customer’s requirements, then look at the physical aspects of the network, moving to the data link (switching aspects), planning the network/IP addressing, and then put it all together into one proposal to provide to the customer for them to decide which will best suite their needs.

Urologist

My internist referred me to a female urologist. I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous. She’s beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She told me that I have to stop masturbating.

I asked her why and she said, “Because I’m trying to examine you…”

How To Recognize A Persian Cat

You Finish?

The Italian Lover, a virile middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, “So, you finish?”

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, “No.”

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, “You finish?”

Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, ‘No.’

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.

Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, “You finish?”

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear, “No, I Norwegian.”

Python Catcher in Africa

Competitive Intelligence and Information Systems

                                                               [Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to compare ethical issues that may or may not exist with using an information system, which is designed to gather strategic information, based upon a competitor’s customer base.  Also included within this document is an assessment of ethics as it pertains to customers whom are individuals as well as businesses.

                                                               [Content]
When using an information system to gather information about a competitor’s customers, it is important to know ethical issues that could be questioned. Many company’s believe it is important to gather information about competitors in order for them to provide a quality product at a competitive price, however there are some activities that should be avoided in order to prevent unethical activities from taking place. Some acceptable types of information being gathered and methods for gathering the information include; asking customer’s about equipment and pricing of competitors, asking employees of other businesses about the company’s practices, searching for information through public resources, reading books or publications about other companies, asking other people about practices that might be useful to the company. Any company has a right to information about competitors as long as they obtain the information through the means that is accessible to the public (onlineethics.org, 2006). Information, which is obtained through covert surveillance, is considered unacceptable as well as any information, which is gained through the influence of personnel holding any confidential information. Any information, which is gained through deception, is illegal and not an acceptable way to gain information about a competitor.

When gaining strategic information about a competitor there are acceptable customers and unacceptable customers from which information can be gained. It is completely acceptable and ethical to gain information from customers of a competitive business as long as the customers are individuals or if the customer is another business then they are not one of the competitors. If information is being gathered from a competitor from a customer who is a business and is in the same type of business, then this is not only unacceptable, but also unethical as well. It is unacceptable to gain information either by the way of first hand or third party about information that is proprietary about a particular business. Any proprietary information, which belongs to a competitor, should never be used to benefit a company. If a company chooses to use proprietary information that belongs to another company it is apparent they do not abide by the code of professional conduct of the Society of Competitive Intelligence Professionals. Using competitive intelligence practices to gain information about competitors is legal and ethical as long as companies use public means of obtaining information.

In the world of competitive intelligence (CI) there are ethical issues that arise from the lack of guidance, however when ethical means are used, using an information system to track information about competitors should be completely accepted. Many companies take business ethics very seriously, however some competitive intelligence practitioners feel that many difficult ethical decisions are currently being left up to them to make the judgment call on and this is due to the current ethical guidance being too vague to be very helpful with making ethical decisions (Sexton, 2007). When accepted methods are used and an information system is maintained to track this information about competitors, there is nothing ethically wrong about that.

In conclusion, there are many ethical issues in which people are faced with on a day to day basis in the business world, however using illegal or deceptive means to gather information about competitors is not only unethical, but should be unacceptable. Using deceptive means to gather information about competitors, dumpster diving, conducting covert surveillance, and even stealing documents are a few examples of unethical means of gathering information. The methods from which competitive intelligence is obtained should be scrutinized and should adhere to a strict code of ethics, however using acceptable means to obtain information and then tracking that information within an information system is completely acceptable and currently utilized.

References
1. (2006, February 16th). Benchmarking and Reverse Engineering (Advice from The Ethics Office at Texas Instruments Corporation) – Online Ethics Home. Retrieved August 23, 2008, from Benchmarking and Reverse Engineering (Advice from The Ethics Office at Texas Instruments Corporation) – Online Ethics Home Web site: http://www.onlineethics.org/CMS/workplace/workcases/ti-ethics/benchmarking.aspx
2. Sexton, Tiina-Liisa (2007, October). http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa5393/is_200710/ai_n21298481. Retrieved August 23, 2008, from Questionable intelligence gathering | Intheblack | Find Articles at BNET Web site: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa5393/is_200710/ai_n21298481

Problem Solving Strategies and Management Decision-making

[Abstract]
The purpose of this document is to identify and implement problem solving strategies and management decision-making. Also included within this document is the answer to the questions, “What impact would decision-making styles have on the design of information systems that support decision making in international businesses?”

[Content]
There are a few different decision making styles that can aid with the decision making process. The democratic decision making style is where a leader relinquishes control of a decision in order to let members of a group vote. The consensus decision-making style is where the leader gives up total control and lets the group, as a whole, deal with the decision. The collective decision making style is where the leader involves the members of an organization in order to gain a different perspective in order to assist the leader with making the decision. The autocratic decision making style is where the leader maintains total control and ownership of the decision. Different types of leaders may use different types of styles in order to assist them with the decision making process (Leadership Management Development Center, Inc., 1997).

International businesses use information systems differently from more local or regional businesses. Local or regionalized businesses may use information systems to manage such things as people, documents, technologies, and procedures in order to assist with the management of operational activities in an organization. Localized information systems also help with management accountants to solve business problems like the costing of a service or product or even a business-wide strategy. International businesses can use information systems to aid with such things as international research or discovery. International businesses will also use information systems to achieve a competitive advantage by utilizing intelligence gained from the international market to make superb business decisions (goliath.ecnext.com, 2002). Local or regional businesses use information systems differently than international businesses.

Many governments play a major role in how businesses run or operate. Governments have a major impact on businesses by how companies are taxed, by which subsidies are allowed, interest rates, exchange rates, and ever by which partnerships are allowed. Governments also play a major role in how business function or operate by the laws or policies that are created or put in place. Governments have their hands in how business are ran everywhere from needing a business license in order to operate as a business all the way down to ensuring companies meet environmental, cultural, health and safety standards. It is always within a government’s best interest to encourage business. By allowing businesses, this is how many governments are able to fund many programs within the government. Governments influence many business in many different ways from ensuring companies are complying with government policies or laws and in return company’s pay many forms of taxes which the government uses to fund many government programs.

Their government of where the business resides influences international businesses, the government influence may affect how the company’s decision-making process by the type of decision making style that is used and therefore can affect how an information system is designed. A business in China may choose to use more of an autocratic approach to how decisions are made, whereas a company in the United States may choose to use more of a democratic decision making approach. When designing an information system when an autocratic decision making style is being used, there may be more controls or restrictions placed upon users of the information system, ensuring they do not have a free reign of access to information. When a democratic decision making style is being used, users such as managers may have a lot more access to information within that information system in order to ensure they are making the proper decisions.

References
1. (1997). Decision Making Style and its Effect On Morale. Retrieved August 22, 2008, from Decision Making Style and its Effect On Morale Web site: http://www.leadershipmanagement.com/html-files/decision.htm
2. International business and global information management research: toward a cumulative tradition.. Retrieved August 22, 2008, from International business and global information management research: toward a cumulative tradition. Web site: http://www.manta.com/