Military Wisdom

“A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what”s left of your unit.”

– Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance.’, ‘

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“Aim towards the Enemy.”
– Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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“When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
– U.S. Marine Corps
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“Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.”
– USAF Ammo Troop
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“If the enemy is in range, so are you.”
– Infantry Journal
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“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.”
– U.S. Air Force Manual
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“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.”
– General Macarthur
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“Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.”
– Infantry Journal
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“You, you, and you … Panic. The rest of you, come with me.”
– U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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“Tracers work both ways.”
– U.S. Army Ordnance
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“Five second fuses only last three seconds.”
– Infantry Journal
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“Don”t ever be the first, don”t ever be the last, and don”t ever volunteer to do anything.”
– U.S. Navy Swabbie
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“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.”
– David Hackworth
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“If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush.”
– Infantry Journal
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“No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.”
– Joe Gay
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“Any ship can be a minesweeper … once.”
– Anonymous
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“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.”
– Unknown Marine Recruit
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“Don”t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.”
– Your Buddies
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“If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.”
– USAF Ammo Troop
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“Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death … I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.”
– At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
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“You”ve never been lost until you”ve been lost at Mach 3.”
– Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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“The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.”

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“Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.”
– From an old carrier sailor
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“If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe.”

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“When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.”

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“Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.”

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“What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, …. the pilot dies.”

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“Never trade luck for skill.”

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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
“Why is it doing that?”,
“Where are we?”
and “Oh Shit!”

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“Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.”

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“Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.”

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“Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.”

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“A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.”

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“I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.”

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“Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!”

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“Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.”

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“Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.”

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“When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.”

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“Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.”

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Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: “When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible.”

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“The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.”
– Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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“A pilot who doesn”t have any fear probably isn’t flying his plane to its maximum.”
– Jon McBride, astronaut
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“If you”re faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.”
– Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
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“Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.”

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“There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.”
– Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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“If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.”

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Basic Flying Rules: “Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.”

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“You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.”

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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks “What happened?”.
The pilot”s reply: “I don”t know, I just got here myself!”
– Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)

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A Christmas Story

Twas the night before Christmas–Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of “Thanks Santa”–what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money–The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes–if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days–they all are the pits
They want the impossible–Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls…Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo’s–No request for them,
They want computers and robots…they think – I’m IBM!

Flying through the air…dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I’m quitting this job there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There’s no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I’m going SOUTH for the season.

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Too Little Info – Too Late

They enjoyed each other’s company very much and at the end of the evening. Sharon invited Jim to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together. Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other. After a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking Jim’s manhood. Surprised but appreciative, Jim comments, “Surely you can’t be ready for more already?” Sharon replies, “No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic, and I miss the days when I had my own.

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Cowboys Don’t Like to be Bested

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales began.

The first said, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands.”

The second can’t stand to be bested, “Why that’s nothing. I was out walkin” on the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that critter with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I’m still here today.”

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his dick.

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10 Things a Man Would Never Say

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool mother.
9. While I’m up, can I get you a beer?
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7. Her tits are just too big.
6. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. That chick on ”Murder, She Wrote” gives me a woody.
4. Sure: I’d love to wear a condom.
3. We haven’t been to the mall for ages; let’s go shopping and I can hold your purse.
2. Hell with Monday Night Football, let’s watch Murphy Brown.
1. I think we’re lost; we better pull over and ask directions.

A man has 27 parts that don’t work for him.

20 nails that don’t nail
1 belly button that doesn’t button
2 tits that don’t milk
1 cock that doesn’t crow
2 balls that don’t bounce
1 ass that doesn’t do any work

So what are you women smiling at? You have a pussy that doesn’t catch mice!

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Navajo Elder’s Lunar Warning: NASA’s Untranslated Message to the Moon

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, they took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: “What are these guys in the big suits doing?” One of the astronauts said they were practicing for a trip to the moon. When the son relayed this comment, the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.

Recognizing a promotional opportunity, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, “Why certainly!” and told an underling to get a tape recorder. The Navajo elder’s comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son to translate what his father had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder’s message to the moon. An official government translator was summoned.

After he finally stopped laughing, the translator relayed the message: “WATCH OUT FOR THESE ASSHOLES. THEY HAVE COME TO STEAL YOUR LAND.”

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Wrong Approach

Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other, “you know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get into the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before going into the house, sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, ease into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”‘, ‘His buddy looks at him and says, “Well, you are probably taking the wrong approach. I screeched into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say “You as horny as I am?” and she always acts like she’s sound asleep.

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Job Interview

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer, who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket, went in to apply for the job.

“Ok,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is one and one?”

“Eleven,” Gomer replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right.” So he asked, “What two days of the week start with the letter T?”

“Today and tomorrow,” Gomer replied.

The sheriff was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer he had never considered.

“Now, Gomer, listen carefully: who killed Abraham Lincoln?”

Gomer looked a little surprised, then thought hard for a minute before finally admitting, “I don’t know.”

“Well, why don”t you go home and work on that one for a while?”

So Gomer wandered over to the barbershop, where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. “It went great! First day on the job, and I’m already working on a murder case!

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Government Matchmaker

A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage & said, “I am looking for a spouse. Can you please help me find a suitable one?” The marriage officer said, “Your requirements, please.” ” Well, let me see…needs to be good-looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good singing and dancing….willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don’t go out….telling me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.” The officer listened carefully and replied. “I understand. You need a television.”

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Thai Culture Seen at the Bangkok Airport


While passing through the Bangkok airport I took these photos of these statues showing a bit of Thai culture.

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Polynesian Cultural Center

Drove over to the north shore on Oahu, Hawaii today and went to the polynesian cultural center located in Laie. This place is a fun place to learn about Polynesia and learn about what makes up Polynesia and where the people originally came from and what is unique about each culture and what makes them different. It’s a really cool experience if you ever get the chance to go. Here are some of the photos I took of this event.

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Monday Night Football: Washington Redskins beat the Dallas Cowboys

Monday night football resulted with the Washington Redskins beating the Dallas Cowboys 14-13. Now not to much surprise this really wasn’t an exciting game. This game seemed to have a combination of strong defenses and conservative play calling that led to the non exciting performances, not to mention the temperature on the field of play was about 100 degree F. Basically to sum up the game Dallas scored a field goal in the 2nd quarter. The score at halftime was 3-0 Dallas was up. Then in the opening minutes of the 3rd quarter Dallas came out to score a quick touchdown. In the 4th quarter Dallas scored another field goal and then with about 4 minutes left in the game the Redskins scored their 1st touchdown on a 39 yard pass from Mark Brunell to Santana Moss and then with 3 minutes and 46 seconds left the Redskins scored on a 79 yard pass from Brunell to Moss. It was awesome to see the Redskins beat the Cowboys, but the performance in their offense needs to definitely step up their game.

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Hawaii Dinner Cruise


Went out on a dinner cruise off the shore of Oahu today. It was a nice relaxing event with some good food and excellent views of the island. Here are some of the photos I took at this event. You can see pictures of Diamond Head the extinct volcano, Waikiki, Honolulu, and the island of Oahu, Hawaii.

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West Oahu Sunset

Here I was on a boat taking a photo of a sunsetting over the west side of the Hawaiian Island of Oahu.
thekumachan_oahu1

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Your Age by Chocolate Math

Your age by chocolate math’, ‘Work this out as you read …
Be sure you don”t read the bottom until you”ve worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it”s fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate
(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 — I”ll wait while you get the calculator .

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755 ….
If you haven”t, add 1754.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number .

The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

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The Truth about Barbecuing

From the wonderful world of Toronto Canada comes this lovely joke called, “The TRUTH about Barbecuing”‘, ‘Barbecuing is the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man declares he will BBQ the following chain of events is put into motion:
1.) The woman goes to the store and buys everything.

2.) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.

3.) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.

4.) The man places the meat on the grill.

5.) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6.) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He
thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

7.) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

8.) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.

9.) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

10.) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.

11.) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed; her night off. And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there”s just no pleasing a woman.

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The Day the Wind Exposed More Than Their Golf Skills

The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee, and as she bends over to place her ball, a sudden gust of wind blows her skirt up—revealing she isn’t wearing any underwear.

“Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any knickers?” her husband demands.

“Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any,” she replies.

The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket. “For the sake of decency, here’s fifty. Go and buy yourself some proper underwear.”

Next, the Irishman’s wife steps up to the tee. As she bends down to set her ball, the wind lifts her skirt and shows she, too, has nothing on underneath.

“Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers! Why not?” the Irishman cries.

“I can’t afford any on the money you give me,” she explains.

He sighs, reaches into his pocket, and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s twenty. Go and buy yourself some underwear!”

Finally, the Scotsman’s wife bends over to place her ball. The wind whips up her skirt, revealing she is also completely bare beneath it.

“Sweet mother of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?” he exclaims.

She shrugs. “Ye dinna give me enough money to afford any.”

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket, hands her a comb, and says, “Well, fer the love o’ Jaysus, and the sake o’ decency… tidy yerself up a bit.”

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Guns Don’t Kill People, Doctors Do

Think about this: Doctors:
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician are 0.171.
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services

Now think about this: Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that”s 80 million.)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.
Statistics courtesy of FBI

So statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, “Guns don”t kill people, doctors do.”

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

A concerned citizen?

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University of Southern California football vs the University of Hawaii

Saturday was the football game where the number 1 University of Southern California played the University of Hawaii. It was well known that the game was not going to be close and that was predicted by a 35 point spread for those gambling people. USC had most of their returning players, while the UH football team lost 30 of it”s players last year. UH did however pick up Jerry Glandville to compliment June Jones coaching.’, ‘The disappointing factor of this game was that there seemed to be no overwhelming dominance by USC. Granted USC scored 63 points by the end of the game, but the spark of excitement in the Aloha stadium just seemed to be lacking. An estimated total of 15,000 USC fans attended the game and the game was televised. The overwhelming size difference between the USC and UH players was definitely a big factor.

All in all the game was fun to go tailgate and watch, but there just seemed to be some lacking excitement. That was probably due to Hawaii knowing they were defeated prior to opening kickoff.

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26 Reasons Why Men Have 2 Dogs and Not 2 Wives:


1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don”t hate it.
4. Dogs don”t notice if you call them by another dog”s name.
5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
6. A dog”s parents never visit.
7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
10. Dogs seldom outlive you.
11. Dogs can”t talk.
12. You never have to wait for a dog; they”re ready to go 24 hours a day.
13. Dogs find you amusing when you”re drunk.
14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
19. A dog won”t hold out on you to get a new car.
20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don”t get mad. They just think it”s interesting.
21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
22. Dogs don”t let magazine articles guide their lives.
23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.
25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale”s or Neiman-Marcus.

And, last but not least:
26. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

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University of Southern California against University of Hawaii Football Game

Went to the University of Southern California against the University of Hawaii football game today. This was a fun game because USC has Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush with a whole bunch of other good players. The University of Hawaii had Colt Brennan. The game was not even close from the start. The high performance of the artificial turf of the Aloha stadium really helped facilitate the speed of this game. It was a complete romp all in USC’s favor with a final score of 62 to 17. Here are photos of the event.
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Chinese Sick Leave

Hung Chow called into work and says, “Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.”

The boss says, “You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.”

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. “Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.”

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Few Short Stories of Stupid Events

Recently, when I went to McDonald”s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets I asked for a half dozen nuggets. “We don”t have half dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter. “You don”t?” I replied. “We only have six, nine, or twelve,” was the reply. “So I can”t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?” “That”s right.” So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.’, ‘I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those “dividers” that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn”t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the “divider”, looking it all over for t he bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, “Do you know how much this is?” I said to her “I”ve changed my mind, I don”t think I”ll buy that today.” She said “OK,” and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM “thingy.”

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. “Do you need some help?” I asked. She replied, “I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can”t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?” “Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?” I asked. “No, just this remote thingy,” she answered, handing it and the car ke! ys to me . As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, “Why don”t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It”s a long walk.”

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I”m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five “blank” copies.

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in “Twister.” I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the “cruise control” and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: “I”ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?”

Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He”s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn”t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine. The mother says, “I just gave him some ant killer…..” Dispatcher: “Rush him in to emergency!”

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Halie’wa Hawaii


Drove up to the North Shore on Oahu, Hawaii today.  Stopped by Halie’wa and took some photos of people paddling.     Here are those photos.

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A View of Honolulu, Hawaii


Here is a view from Honolulu, Hawaii westward towards Pearl City, Wainae, Kunia, Waikele, Waipahu, Makakilo, etc.


Here is a view towards Honolulu harbor or Sand Island from the viewpoint of Honolulu, Hawaii.

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Navy Ship Pearl Harbor

Today I was driving across the bridge coming from Ford Island to Halawa and snapped a couple photos of a ship sitting in Pearl Harbor. I don’t know anything about Navy ships, but it looks pretty cool. I know I wouldn’t want to mess with the United States Navy.

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Survivor Southern Style

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, several southern TV stations are joining together and are planning to do their own, entitled “Survivor: Southern Style.” The contestants will start in Alabama; travel over to Georgia and on to South Carolina.‚Äö From there they will head up to North Carolina and over to Tennessee. They will then proceed down to Mississippi and Louisiana.‚Äö Finally ending up back over in Alabama.’, ‘Each will be driving a pink Volvo with New Jersey license plates and large bumper stickers that read: I”m Gay, I’m a Vegetarian, NASCAR Sucks, Go Yankees!‚Äö Smoking is for Idiots, Hillary in 2004, Deer Hunting is Murder, and I’m Here to Confiscate Your Guns!

The first one that makes it back to Montgomery ALIVE wins. Any takers.

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USS Arizona Memorial

Went to the USS Arizona Memorial. It certainly was a somber experience to think that 1,177 officers and crewmen died in the blink of an eye. Here are my photos from my experience.

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Bond Set for Michael Moffatt Charged With Shooting Wife

thekumachan_michael_moffatt-1
(photo courtesy of The Kumachan)

Michael Clinton Moffatt, charged at the beginning of the month with attempted murder, has been trying since then to get a judge to set bail, but until Tuesday had no luck.

Following a hearing before Mobile County Circuit Judge Charles Graddick, a bail of $250,000 was ordered for the 15-year Air Force veteran stationed in Biloxi.

This article was written for
http://www.al.com/
By GARY McELROY
Staff Reporter’, ‘According to prosecutors, Moffatt, 35, shot his estranged wife, Toiya Moffatt, 30, at his mother”s Mobile home on Cotton Street on April 1, then fled.

Michael Moffatt, a tech sergeant, surrendered the next day to his commanding officer at Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi.

Assistant District Attorney John Furman told Graddick on Tuesday that the victim remained in a hospital, her condition still critical following a number of surgeries to address the shotgun blast she suffered.

Outside court, Furman characterized her chances of surviving as “nip and tuck” and “50-50.”

Following his client’s arrest, Mobile attorney Jeff Deen went before two district judges seeking bail; each time he was turned down.

On Tuesday, he argued before Graddick that Moffatt’s rights under the eighth amendment to the Constitution and Alabama law required a bail be set.

According to Deen, Toiya Moffatt lived in Florida after the couple separated.

Deen said he could not explain why a lower court was reluctant to set bail.

Furman said Toiya Moffatt was under a protective court order at the time of the shooting. He said his office was “still greatly concerned” for her safety.

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Atlantis Submarine Tour – Honolulu Hawaii


Today I took the Atlantis Submarine tour out of the Hawaiian Hilton Hotel. This tour was superb. First you leave from Waikiki and they take you out on a boat to rendezvous with a submarine that is waiting. You want to be sure to get there early and try to take the earliest tour if you can because then you have the best chance to see sharks and other cool fish. Once everybody boards the submarine they take you down to a depth of 100 feet deep. While down there you get to see some of the sea restoration projects they have going on where a couple ships, a plane, and scaffolding were sunk in order to create an artificial reef. Here are a few photos from my experience.

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New Tax Law

The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.’, ‘Effective January 1, 2005, the male penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
12+” Capital Gains $50.00
10-12″ Luxury Tax $30.00
8-10″ Pole Tax $25.00
5-8″ Privilege Tax $15.00
4-5″ Nuisance Tax $3.00
<4″ Elegible for a refund Please do not ask for an extension!

IRS Note: We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:
Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes?

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